Polka_Doll's blog on Informed Consent http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/weblogs/Polka_Doll/ The IC RSS Gadget webmaster@informedconsent.co.uk 360 Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:06:45 GMT Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:06:45 GMT Tue, 08 Jun 2010 23:06:45 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/274724/ So, I had kind of been having an affair. Nothing particularly exciting, no great love affair, but nsa sex with a married friend. It was something that crept up on me, and something that I knew would never go anywhere. He is married and never wanted that to change, nor did I want him to change it. But it was nice, vanilla, nice, comforting. Someone that could massage my ego, kill a bit of time and provide an element of sexual release. I knew it was wrong. I knew it wouldn't last and it hasn't. It just happens that my comfort blanket has been pulled from under me at the worst possible time. At a time when I am feeling so low, so lost, so fucking revolting. And now things have gone from bad to worse. I know, I deserve it. I don't want pity.... though I would like a break. Sun, 06 Jun 2010 22:34:43 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/274535/ (The id) is the dark, inaccessible part of our personality, what little we know of it we have learnt from our study of the dream-work and of the construction of neurotic symptoms, and most of this is of a negative character and can be described only as a contrast to the ego. We all approach the id with analogies: we call it a chaos, a cauldron full of seething excitations... It is filled with energy reaching it from the instincts, but it has no organisation, produces no collective will, but only a striving to bring about the satisfaction of the instinctual needs subject to the observance of the pleasure principle. Sat, 05 Jun 2010 17:10:09 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/274407/ I'm not built for the summer. I burn like cheap bacon and get generally hot and flustered. But today I got to do something I really love about summer. A hot, sultry day and then the heavens opened. As I hastily undressed and rushed to my back garden I felt a catharsis I've not felt in months. I closed my eyes and turned my face skywards as the big fat raindrops splashed onto my hot skin. It's so soothing, so purging, and definitely one of my favourite things. Sat, 05 Jun 2010 11:39:44 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/274379/ I'm never sure the point of this public outpouring doodleyflip. It feels too self conscious, self indulgent and just a little too noughties for my liking. Doesn't sit so well with a stiff upper lipped old fashioned kinda gal like me but there is something cathartic about the sound of the tip tapping of my fingers on the keyboard, it's like typing what is in my mind somehow siphons off some of the stressy schmaltz...maybe this is what Dumbledore feels like when using his pensieve (sorry Potter haters). As pointless as it may be, someone very dear to me told me I mustn't keep things in, and as he has trundled back to his house leaving me alone with my thoughts I guess the weary tip tapping will be my outlet. I'm not asking for advice, not asking for an audience, I just want to make space in my head for pretty things and sunbeams and the like. Sat, 29 May 2010 22:56:44 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/273807/ I wrote this a while ago. It was an ideal, an aspiration, a hope for a (now failed) relationship: Mon, 07 Dec 2009 12:34:10 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/257370/ I had a message off of my ex this morning that left me amused and insulted in equal measure. It's been a rocky old week of arguing and bickering that I'm pretty sure started last Saturday night. Sat, 05 Dec 2009 23:20:23 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/257226/ What is it about the mind where it can trick you into believing something is real when logic tells you it's not? Fri, 14 Aug 2009 18:18:39 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/245931/ Why oh why can't I be an arty type? I mean I write, I know that's my artistic outlet but why can't I take good photos...more annoyingly why can't I take good photos of myself? Do I just not photograph well? Am I just searching for my "good side"? Or is it just a lack of skills? I wish I'd paid attention in those photography classes at school now. All of these pretty outfits, my growing corset collection and no way to preserve the images for posterity. Such a bloody shame... Fri, 24 Jul 2009 00:58:22 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/243718/ I find myself this weekend with no child, no reason to rush home and yet nowhere to go. Grrr. 'Tis always the way. Why does it have to be the case eh? Bah. Any suggestions welcome... Wed, 15 Jul 2009 17:14:27 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/242845/ I'm finding out more and more about my submissive personality lately. Delving into the recesses of my mind, searching for the darker side, exploring my kinks and finding it all quite liberating. Hell, thanks to the indiscretion of my ex husband my whole family know about this part of me and whenever someone asks me a question about my kinks (stranger or friend) i am almost painfully honest. So why do I still censor what pictures I'll put on here? Why do I feel the need to keep my blog anonymous? Why if I'm so damned liberated am I still hiding? Hmmm... Mon, 13 Jul 2009 13:08:17 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/242579/ I've been thinking a lot lately about Aftercare in play settings. Fri, 10 Jul 2009 22:35:08 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/242342/ "Some people are like slinkies, not really good for anything at all but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs..."