Sort by last reply . twisted_eros's profile
| 19 Jul 11 | A very bad poem | (19 Jul 11, 9:19 PM by twisted_eros) | ||
| Knife, sharpened / little pressure / skin tears... / air out / blood trickles / beautifully welling up / like the tears in my eyes... [more...] | ||||
| 6 Oct 09 | 2 degrees out (8) | (6 Oct 09, 10:27 PM by HarmCandy) | ||
| Wasn't planning to be back... but insomnia has drawn me out... [more...] | ||||
| 26 Jan 09 | Self indulgent, attention seeking tart! (4) | (26 Jan 09, 11:28 PM by CPeccavi) | ||
| Which is what i am! Well, according to my fat, sweaty, pervey, fuck of a friend anyhow! [more...] | ||||
| 26 Jan 09 | Dropping aka Depression (2) | (26 Jan 09, 3:42 PM by misstressclare) | ||
| Well, i know why i've dropped. Had a very helpful chat on the phone to the best man in the world last night when i started dropping. And i'm calmer now, but i can't pull out of it. Not at work. And given how tenuous that job is at the moment, i really should be. They think i'm working from home and there's a lot to be done, so might not be going to bed tonight as i haven't started yet. But i don't really care. It's like i want to lose everything, so i can justify being like this. Although, i think there's enough to justify it anyway, and mostly i think i'm doing really well, as i still keep [more...] | ||||
| 21 Jan 09 | will it ever end? (4) | (21 Jan 09, 8:00 PM by MichaelCane) | ||
| Woke up crying. Went to sleep crying. Some days it just comes over me in waves. Felt for a while like it was getting better, but the pain inside just seems to be cutting me like a knife, tearing me apart from the inside, the emptiness and lonliness jeering at me. [more...] | ||||
| 21 Dec 08 | RIP twisted_eros! :) (3) | (27 Dec 08, 12:06 AM by twisted_eros) | ||
Well, twisted_eros doesn't feel so twisted anymore, rose is back, alive and well, and looking forward to 2009 with a smile on her face  [more...]
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| 14 Dec 08 | To my friend | (14 Dec 08, 1:54 AM by twisted_eros) | ||
| To my friend [more...] | ||||
| 14 Dec 08 | to the one who must be out there somewhere... (1) | (14 Dec 08, 10:30 AM by x_Raven_x) | ||
| God i feel like hell tonight / tears of rage i cannot fight / i'd be the last to help you understand / are you strong enough to be my man? [more...] | ||||
| 9 Dec 08 | Retraction... | (9 Dec 08, 8:26 PM by twisted_eros) | ||
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| 8 Dec 08 | acting as if... (1) | (8 Dec 08, 10:43 PM by Skyhook) | ||
| A really good friend of mine told me on Sunday that sometimes people don't want to hang around with other people who are down all the time... It really hurt, because he is someone, one of the few, that i felt i could be myself around, and not have to fake it. Because i am taking his advice and trying to act as if... [more...] | ||||
| 25 Nov 08 | Fuck it! | (25 Nov 08, 3:09 PM by twisted_eros) | ||
| so... this morning i'm better... (see other post). [more...] | ||||
| 25 Nov 08 | Getting better (2) | (25 Nov 08, 3:10 PM by twisted_eros) | ||
| i had a good therapy session yesterday. About time too! Usually the support group leaves me entirely drained, and i go through a cycle of feeling crap, pulling myself out of it, and then feeling crap again in anticipation of the next one... [more...] | ||||
| 5 Nov 08 | excellent therapy :) | (5 Nov 08, 11:33 PM by twisted_eros) | ||
| A lovely man, who shall remain nameless, found twisted_eros' blogs, put two and two together, took charge and made things so much better... [more...] | ||||
| 4 Nov 08 | lonely | (4 Nov 08, 10:41 PM by twisted_eros) | ||
| just lonely. been at home all day, mostly sleeping, not wanting to be part of the world. Got to go to work tomorrow and face the music. No-one to talk to. Why do i still feel like this? Why can't i pull myself out of it? Why can't i tell anyone how i feel? Outside its all calm and quiet, inside i'm screaming. | ||||
| 4 Nov 08 | self destruction | (4 Nov 08, 10:47 AM by twisted_eros) | ||
| Not my best decision. Didn't go to work this morning. My boss says i can take it as holiday but i need to be honest with myself as to what i can commit to... Really hope i'm not about to lose my job, i really need it, not just because i need the money but because i need the routine, to stop moping around the place. i hope she's just talking about maybe going part time for a while, which wouldn't be great but is maybe what i need... [more...] | ||||
| 3 Nov 08 | another monday afternoon... | (3 Nov 08, 5:28 PM by twisted_eros) | ||
| ...another painful support group session... why, oh why, does getting help need to hurt so much...? my counsellor is not happy with me, i'm not doing enough to try to make my life better and i'm sinking into a pit of self-pity... It helps to know the other women aren't finding it easy either, and to know that my experience was relatively recent in comparison, but i don't feel like i'm getting better, just going through the motions... These sessions seem to fuck me up for a couple of days afterwards, then i feel better for a couple of days, then i feel bad again in anticipation of it again... [more...] | ||||
| 2 Nov 08 | my men.... | (2 Nov 08, 10:25 AM by twisted_eros) | ||
| i felt the first post experiment worked quite well.. so, i'm going to try the same exorcism on how i feel about some of the men in my life.... [more...] | ||||
| 1 Nov 08 | Hurting | (1 Nov 08, 7:44 PM by twisted_eros) | ||
| Well, this is my first post under this profile... If you read the bit about me, you'll know this profile is for me to hide behind. i set it up a little while ago, back when i thought i might really have to hide out for a while.. So now it exists for when i want to get things out. Not sure why i think it'll help to have things on the internet, rather than just keeping a private diary... But somehow i think it will. With a private diary its all still there for me to keep, and i want it properly out of me... But somehow i can't seem to write it down and then delete it... Deleting it doesn't seem [more...] | ||||
