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| teach_me |
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| 23 Jun 06 | Two Tortoises (6) | (23 Jun 06, 6:40 PM by teach_me) |
| Two tortoises go camping and pack a cooler with sandwiches and beer. After three days of walking, they arrive at a great spot but realize they've forgotten a bottle opener. The first tortoise turns to the second and says, "You've gotta go back and get the opener or else we have no beer." [more...] | ||
| 23 Jun 06 | Zookeeper | (23 Jun 06, 2:54 PM by teach_me) |
| A small zoo in Alabama acquires a rare gorilla, who quickly becomes agitated. The zookeeper determines that the female ape is in heat, but there are no male apes available for mating. [more...] | ||
| 19 Jun 06 | innocence | (19 Jun 06, 5:27 PM by teach_me) |
| out of the mouths of babes !! Laughing [more...] | ||
| 19 Jun 06 | asshole (3) | (23 Jun 06, 5:19 PM by teach_me) |
| All the organs of the body were having a meeting, trying to decide who was the one in charge. [more...] | ||
| 19 Jun 06 | fatherly advice (4) | (23 Jun 06, 5:20 PM by teach_me) |
| Jacks father decided to give his son some pre wedding advice. [more...] | ||
| 18 Jun 06 | BBB (17) | (20 Jun 06, 9:16 PM by teach_me) |
| I'll make this short .......as I'm a girl of so few words ........... no long acceptance speeches ......... Just thanks to everyone I had a bloody great day ........ I'll try not to be so shy next time lol hugssssssssssssss and snogssssssssssssssssss L X X X | ||
| 13 Jun 06 | grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr (10) | (16 Jun 06, 7:17 PM by slaveyy) |
| bollox bollox fuk shit and crap gggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrr aaaaaaaaaggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh feel better now i think [more...] | ||
| 12 Jun 06 | ring any bells (2) | (12 Jun 06, 2:25 PM by teach_me) |
| ok last one hope you all had a good chuckle xxxxxxxx [more...] | ||
| 12 Jun 06 | statues | (12 Jun 06, 12:25 PM by teach_me) |
| For decades, two heroic statues, one male and one female, faced each other in a city park, until one day an angel came down from heaven. [more...] | ||
| 12 Jun 06 | love is (2) | (12 Jun 06, 4:12 PM by teach_me) |
| One day old man Stumpy and his wife Martha went to the Illinois State Fair. There is this man selling plane rides in his single prop show plane for $10 per person. Stumpy looks to Martha and says, "Martha, I think I really should try that." Martha replies, "I know you want to Stumpy, but we have a lot of bills, and you know the money is tight, and $10 is $10." So Stumpy goes without. Over the next few years they return every year, and the same thing, Stumpy wants to ride, but Martha says no money. [more...] | ||
| 12 Jun 06 | mate match (7) | (12 Jun 06, 7:29 PM by teach_me) |
| Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney. The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions. The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize. [more...] | ||
| 12 Jun 06 | dad (2) | (13 Jun 06, 3:58 PM by teach_me) |
| A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. [more...] | ||
| 12 Jun 06 | affairs (6) | (12 Jun 06, 10:32 PM by Qwoin) |
| Subject: The Affair [more...] | ||
| 12 Jun 06 | bmw | (12 Jun 06, 10:57 AM by teach_me) |
| A lady walks into a BMW dealership. She browses around, spots thetop-of-the-line Beemer and walks over to inspect it. As she bends over to feel the fine leather upholstery, she inadvertently breaks wind. Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a sales person doesn't pop up right now. As she turns around, her worst nightmare materialises in the form of a salesman standing right behind her. Cool as a cucumber and displaying complete professionalism, the salesman greets the lady with, "Good day, Madame. How may we help you today?" Very [more...] | ||
| 12 Jun 06 | speeding (14) | (13 Jun 06, 3:55 PM by teach_me) |
| While I was driving down the M60 the other day, (going a little faster than I should have been) I passed under a bridge only to see a policeman on the other side with a radar gun, laying in wait. The policeman pulled me over, walked up to the car and, with that classic, patronising smirk, asked: [more...] | ||
| 10 Jun 06 | flags (10) | (12 Jun 06, 1:19 AM by teach_me) |
| ok for those of you that insist on driving round with england flags on your car contemplate this [more...] | ||
| 9 Jun 06 | why? (14) | (12 Jun 06, 1:39 AM by teach_me) |
| why is it that emmerdale is on at 10pm? .......... why cant they put the football on later? ......... why is grass green ..... why do i get such satisfaction from pouring salt on a slug that just ate my new plants ......... why have i not remembered to get a new battery for my clock when i have been looking at it all week stuck on 6.30 ..........why do i always run out of paint 6 inches from the end of what im painting .......... and why the hell have i just had a bath with freezing cold water ahhhhhhh i have an answer for that one ..............the damned boiler went out and i couldnt be bothered [more...] | ||
| 5 Jun 06 | wheres the sleep gone (2) | (9 Jun 06, 9:12 PM by teach_me) |
| how frustrating is it when you cant sleep......... you lie there for ages and your head starts spinning you try to switch off and the more you try the more your brain starts running round in circles .......... so you pick up a book then realise you're old now and you cant read without your glasses and they are downstairs ........ so you lie there a bit longer ... then give up get up have a hot choccy and think ill go online for a bit have a nice chat ............. you get here and every one else is asleep .......... typical.... so you think ill know ill write some random crap and see if anyone reads [more...] | ||
