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Blog of pixie15_CJ_s (209)

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17 Apr 05i hate satalites(17 Apr 05, 10:10 AM by pixie15_CJ_s)
it is hard to be the partner of a sea captain who never goes into port...it means you can never trust that you can comunicate with each other satalites dont care if im waiting for an e mail ...they just dont work properly it has been 3 days since i heard anything form Jerry and im getting to my "i hate this " stage!!! i know i chose to be with him...... so i just have to wait and hope ...everyday looking for e mails ....checking phone messages......but just sometimes i wish it was easier!!!! [more...]
13 Apr 05CapnJerry(13 Apr 05, 9:31 PM by pixie15_CJ_s)
well things have moved on at an alarming but very happy rate CapnJerry returned from sea on new years eve and i met Him at the airoprt to travel to His home for new years together and......i havnt left yet :) im now a very happy subbie who has a wonderful Dom who cares for me as much as i care for Him :) im so pleased i came here but it is tinged with a little sadness CJ will always be a sea Captain this i knew when i met Him and something i have to endure so alas He has returned to His second love.....the sea {no that doesnt mean i want folks to try and cyber me ...or that i want to play with others!!!!} my [more...]
20 Dec 04my Dom returns and sorry to all(20 Dec 04, 2:18 AM by pixie15_CJ_s)
i must be the luckiest sub in the world after everything i have said all the bratty,bitchy e mails i have sent CJ still cares and is comming home to be with me i know i dont deserve it and i will always be thankfull to Him for being so forgiving of my silly outbursts and to all the people who have listened to my stupid rants can i just say im sorry you know who you are and i thank you for keeping me going and listening to my insecurities [more...]
27 Nov 04returning to my place at Jerry feet {Jerrys return}(27 Nov 04, 10:49 PM by pixie15_CJ_s)
yes Jerry i still want to sit at your feet and serve you forever i hope you give me time to be who i was pls remember how good it was then help me get that back you still own my body and soul sorry i didnt look after it properly [more...]
3 Nov 04submission and ex Doms(3 Nov 04, 12:57 PM by pixie15_CJ_s)
ok my ramblings to me far to many people think they want to be submissive .....verry differant from BEING submissive i have known from a very young age that i was a submissive and i have found the people in my life who are Doms very easerly but i have found in 38 yrs 3 true Doms whos collars i will wear it took months of talking and listening to find these three all of which i would happily submit to my first Dom died and that nearly killed me to if i haddnt been pregnant then i would of followed Him but i had His som to look after for Him {something im still doing 19 yrs later} my second [more...]
29 Sep 04getting worse(29 Sep 04, 2:41 PM by pixie15_CJ_s)
ok so im not going to ask if it can get worse ever again now i find out that Jerry will not be home for christmas and i dont know yet when he will be home.........bummer!!!! a sub without a master is a sad sight to behold i feel so small and alone and i cant tell him just how much i miss him....it wont help and things cannot be changed he will return when he can i know that but i must admit i feel like i have been deserted i want to crawl back to bed and just cry myself to sleep but that wont help. i have to keep going , try to get on with things or i will be letting him down. but just here [more...]
28 Sep 04{CJ} missing you(28 Sep 04, 11:08 PM by pixie15_CJ_s)
well im back, my life hasnt changed just another day closer to Jerry comming home. im writting this for me so you dont have to read it! and maybe for Jerry so he knows how hard this is. but then its hard for him too i supose. ok background....... Jerry is on a ship heading for the u.s.a. and im alone here, he wont be home till december so im just hanging around waiting for him to return. i told him i would keep a diary but things happen to thwart the best plans.......and mine got thwarted bad!!! i had a heart attack just after Jerry went to sea and i have had to cope with it alone. i didnt [more...]
24 Sep 04faithfulness and BDSM(24 Sep 04, 8:08 PM by pixie15_CJ_s)
well what can i say Jerry has been away for 45 days and im missing him like crazy i find myself comming on line all the time to see if i have e mails, most days i do :-} im suprised how many people think because Jerry is away i want someone else to "play" with i dont!!!! is there no faithfullness in this world does it sound wrong that i dont want anyone else...just Jerry [more...]
20 Sep 04hello friends and fellow BDSMers(20 Sep 04, 8:08 PM by pixie15_CJ_s)
where to start.........hmmmm ok im a collared sub who has a wonderfull Dom CaptJerry who also has a profile on here im feeling down now as Sir is away till december and i miss him lots if you read His profile you will see He is sea captain who drives oil tankers we met thru here and clicked straight away [more...]
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