nightowl91's weblog on Informed Consent http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/weblogs/nightowl91/ The IC RSS Gadget webmaster@informedconsent.co.uk 360 Wed, 30 Nov 2005 11:12:25 GMT Wed, 30 Nov 2005 11:12:25 GMT Wed, 30 Nov 2005 11:12:25 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/60591/ ever get one of those days when you just wake up and suddenly realise how much you miss something? today i realised that it's ages since i was given a good hard banging. the last time was during the summer when we went into a local park one night and i bent over under some bushes. it was only a stone's throw from the road and the thrill was such that i almost didn't notice the thorn that i impaled my finger on as my hands grabbed hold of a branch for support. we then moved onto a bench where i bounced up and down on top of her lap for several minutes. the bench was on a long walkway and we could see people in the distance and lights in the windows of the flats overlooking it, but that all just added to the excitement of the whole experience. Tue, 29 Nov 2005 10:50:24 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/60446/ my wife doesn't normally swallow that often but for some reason the other day i was suddenly taken by this dominant mood which is quite unusual for me. i got dressed up in my rubber gear (leggings, gloves, hood, etc) and sent her a text message telling her to come upstairs and stand facing the corner in our bedroom and wait for me. i was waiting next door and when i entered our room i told her that she was to stay silent and obey exactly everything i told her. i then put a blindfold on her, tied her hands behind her back and covered her lips in large amounts of bright red lipstick. i then made her kneel down and forced my cock into her mouth and smeared the lipstick all over her face. after a fantastic forced oral session i let fly but only about half of it went into her mouth as i came with such force that the rest went flying over the bed onto the carpet. i then led her back into the corner of the room, undid her hands and told her that she could take off her blindfold and go back downstairs once i had left the room. she was never able to see me during the whole process and i found it a lot easier to overcome my usual cum in mouth guilt by having her blindfolded and shackled. she later told me that despite not normally going for cum in mouth she found the whole thing quite enjoyable Tue, 01 Nov 2005 11:08:47 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/56250/ Yet another day passes and yet more examples that confirm the lying, self-serving nature of the majority of politicians. Why is it that they always resign, hand back shares, etc, etc yet claim they have done nothing wrong? Maybe my memory is playing tricks on me but it seems occasionally in the dim and distant past someone would hold their hands up and 'say sorry it's a fair cop'. Is there no longer any sense of honour or decency? The trouble is that most people don't seem to realise, or care about, the danger of the situation. Our so-called democracy is a sham at the best of times - turn up every few years, put your x in a box and then discover that your views are ignored or everything you've voted for is a lie - but the danger of unnaccountable politicians and parties increasingly moving towards the centre makes the situation even more of a concern. Before you could guarantee that parties would fart around the edges, making the odd change here and there, but never doing anything that would radically change the lives of working people and upset the establishment. Now, however, we are heading towards a situation in which parties scramble for something called the centre ground which, roughly translated, means that a change of government will make even less difference to our lives than before. The only real difference is the name of the party which is governing. It is this type of situation that results in everything from illegal wars to repressive legislation about what you can watch, where you can drink, what ID you must carry, about what, where and how many of you are allowed to protest, etc, etc. People scoff when you talk of the concept of a police state but for me the sight of a pensioner dragged away by police merely for protesting against the banning of the right to protest in the area around parliament tells its own story. Bring all those repressive strands together, tie them to governments that ignore the people more than ever before, and see where we are going. And yet the majority will still turn up, do their duty, put their x in a box and somehow convince themselves that they have played a role in the future of this country. How many different governments will it take to open their eyes to the illusion that is democracy? If people respond in horror to the mere concept of changing the system they should remember that democracy is a relatively recent concept in our history. For hundreds of years the divine right of kings was considered the norm and one-man-one-vote was not even on the radar, or considered so outlandish a concept to be almost unthinkable. And then if you only count democracy as having truly begun when women and people of a certain age were allowed to vote, it reveals what a relatively recent thing it is. Therefore, it is not something that is so set in stone that it cannot be tinkered with or changed. And yet I fear that only what are labelled by politicians as 'the usual suspects' will clamour for any meaningful change, the majority will continue to be content with being treated with contempt. Maybe we truly deserve the system we live under. Mon, 17 Oct 2005 16:15:10 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/54354/ if someone wants a DIY slave who can make their house look a mess then i'm their man. a simple set of shelves yesterday turned into the afternoon from hell. why is it that you can guarantee that something will go wrong with even the simplest thing u buy from b&q. u can put 99.9 per cent of the damn thing together easy as pie but there will always be at least one screw that wont go in properly. needless to say the afternoon ended in a long walk with a packet of fags and a call to a local painter and decorator. all my good intentions for doing stuff around the house today had gone out the window and been replaced by the thought that no matter how much it cost to get someone in it would be worth it for my sanity alone. sometimes u just have to accept that there are certain things u are shite at and always will be shite at. Sat, 15 Oct 2005 17:35:33 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/54144/ went for my first tarot reading in years today. no great reason why i did it, just saw a sign at a local bookshop which brought back memories of a time when a weekly fixture on the social scene used to be sitting around a table with friends drinking too much wine, smoking too much weed and stupidly trying to predict each other's futures and solve each other's problems with a set of cards. was kind of interesting revisiting at least part of that, especially when i remembered that you don't necessarily expect a certain set of cards to magically appear. quite often one card selected has no relation to the next, but it's the message behind those individual cards that help you to focus on certain aspects of your life, whether you believe in the system or not. quite often you carry on through life not seeing the problems and challenges you face until some other person lays them down in front of you and you suddenly realise some of things you should be dealing with or changing. Tue, 11 Oct 2005 21:04:52 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/53728/ sometimes life can seem pretty directionless. you end up in a situation where you tinker around at the edges of so many interests and activities without knowing what you really desire and with no opportunity of competence or depth of experience in any of them. sometimes it feels as though i should concentrate my energies on one or two things rather than the current situation where one week's activity has been put on the shelf within a matter of days. this pattern of directionless behaviour may be merely a result or expression of other hang-ups or self-doubts, but i know i have probably spent too many years in this situation and must somehow break the cycle Mon, 10 Oct 2005 11:10:16 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/53554/ you cannot change the lightbulb, it must be smashed Sat, 03 Sep 2005 14:35:18 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/49241/ my favourite fantasy revolves around a piece of fiction i once read about a mass caning at an all-girls school. i've received cp on many occasions but always as an individual and there was something about this story that raised my curiosity, the prospect of being punished as part of a large group. in the story about 15 girls are lined up against the gym wall. their parents are sat down watching the proceedings and a single chair is set in the middle of the room, the headmistress and gym mistress standing next to it. without going into too much detail, the girls are basically given a severe lecture and then called out one at a time to bend over the chair and receive their caning, the gym mistress occasionally taking over when the headmistress's arm gets tired. the scenario just works for me so well. being an individual being punished is one thing, but to be part of a group, forced to stand there and watch while others are crying out while receiving their punishment, knowing that the same thing is going to happen to you but not when you will be called out just seems so exciting. like any scenario that involves many people it would probably be difficult to organise but i hope to be able to say one day that i have experienced it. Sat, 27 Aug 2005 18:42:28 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/48418/ i was so proud as you led me into the club on the end of your chain, my hands tied behind my back as i stared at you immaculately clad in rubber, your feet in the high heels i had so expertly and lovingly cleaned with my tongue. i was your plaything as you bent me over the bench, my buttocks ready to feel the bite of your cane or the thrusts of your strap-on. everyone watched as you used me for your own needs and i saw the envy in many eyes that reflected the thought, if only i could be in his position. you were my mistress and i was your sub. i know it is all a dream but one day i hope the illusion will become reality. my search for a mistress continues Tue, 23 Aug 2005 21:46:29 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/47950/ i wonder sometimes what the ratio is of men to women in the fetish scene. i've advertised for a mistress to take me under her wing on here and elsewhere for some time now but have had little success apart from the usual responses from pros and other timewasters. some advertisers you send a perfectly pleasant reply to even cannot be bothered to give you the courtesy of a 'thanks but no'. it doesn't seem like too much to ask and i always make the effort to send a reply, even if the reply to my advert is from a pro just trying to make a fast buck. in these circumstances you can easily end up over-analysing your own profile. is it that i'm not looking for a full-time relationship, that i'm not the most overly experienced person on the scene, etc, etc. i feel like i'm missing out on a lot, because even though i've been out to some fetish events and seen mistresses on a paid-for basis, i know it is always so much more enjoyable if you can see someone on a regular basis so that both of you can continually explore and expand your fantasies. by the way, if any mistress reads this and does want a willing new sub on a non-live-in basis then please get in contact. Mon, 22 Aug 2005 19:18:30 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/47806/ anyone who doubts the establishment bias of some sections of the media only had to see london tonight with a smearing non-story of a lead about how some people involved in the campaign for justice for the brazilian shot dead by the lying police happen to have been involved in groups such as the stop the war coalition. big deal. i wonder if they would have run such a so-called expose if those involved had been members of the labour or conservative parties. only a couple of weeks ago radio five was covering a demonstration against the banning of the right to protest outside parliament just as a woman in her 70s was being arrested. when it switched back to the studio the massive insight that their muppet of a frontman gave it was that 'it was the best laugh i've had in ages'. if that is the best he can do then i hope he ends up living in the police state he deserves. some people may think the media unbiased because they criticise our mainstream labour and conservative politicians but what they are biased towards is the status quo, the fact that you behave yourselves and turn up ever four years to put your little tick in a box. democracy may be an illusion but no real debate is allowed in the mainstream media as to any alternative. the establishment always wins. Sun, 21 Aug 2005 11:37:41 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/47632/ i've been thinking of keeping some kind of journal to record my dreams as, while many of them are so vivid just after waking, they quickly seem to disappear from my memory and then only the odd fragments remain. i wonder sometimes if they can truly be analysed in any meaningful way or are they just a random collection of images scrambled by the brain while you are asleep? take the other night for example: Sun, 07 Aug 2005 17:38:18 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/45986/ i normally have a love hate relationship with london but at the moment it's veering towards the hate side of the coin. i guess when you've only lived in smaller places in wales and cornwall it can be pretty difficult to adjust to the concrete jungle. on the positive side i love the diversity of the city, the fact that you can indulge in things that would be difficult, if not impossible, if you were living in some small town or village. however, it always comes back to the point that i miss simple things like trees and fresh air. even when i visit one of the parks in london to try and relax i just look at the trees and all i can see are the tower blocks looming above them. i've just been away for a week and had such great positive plans about what i was going to do when i got back home. however, less than a day back in the house and i'm out the door and back in the car feeling depressed, realising that i was only feeling positive because i was away from the place and as soon as i'm back in it everything crumbles. even driving away from the house doesn't work as i stop around the corner to buy some fags, sit in the car and think about where to go and suddenly realise that there's nowhere around here to go that will make me happy. i should be feeling better than this with my wife being pregnant but, even though it sounds crap to say it, sometimes i think that all the added responsibility and expense is going to make any escape route from the city, at least in the short term, less and less likely. Mon, 25 Jul 2005 16:39:50 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/44526/ id cards, the banning of the right to protest in certain areas, repressive legislation rushed through parliament, protestors arrested under anti-terrorism laws, every right wing tosspot jumping on the bandwagon with crap about arming all police officers and forcing schools to fly the union flag. and while all this goes on most people look at you as if you are mad when you mention the phrase 'police state'. even normally liberal people are coming up with phrases like 'oh if he hadn't run' to justify the shooting dead of an innocent man who was probably just terrified at a bunch of white goons pulling guns on him. two wrongs don't make a right, but 30,000 kids a day die in the third would and we say 'isn't that awful' and maybe organise a few concerts, while a handful of people are killed in the west and we go apeshit. Mon, 13 Jun 2005 20:53:11 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/40994/ Took the plunge and went for my first dungeon experience as a sub the other day. Until then had enjoyed cp, etc purely from a painful pleasure point of view and if I'm being honest quite often I wasn't really caring too much about the experience of the other person. However, what happened last week has opened my eyes to a world of new possibilities and emotions. I realise now that while simple pain has its attractions the whole process is so enhanced by the psychological input of a good domme, to the extent that you are no longer purely concerned with your own emotions but can almost feel and revel in the other person feeding off your brainwaves. It feels as if everything has changed in a single hour of play and there is much to consider for the future.