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IC : Weblogs : lili : "A beginners guide to "asking politely""
A beginners guide to "asking politely"
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Posted by lili  on Sun 18 May 03, 8:47 PM
i suppose after 3 years i should hardly be considered a
beginner. So why do i find it so hard to beg when
everyone else seems able to drop to their knees and
beg in such a pleasing manner that i just feel a
complete novice.
Having tried the age old "telepathy" method and been
left frustrated by my lack of success (why doesn't he
just know what i want?) i soon moved on to "if i ask he
could say no" - so i save myself the humiliation of
a clumsy attempt at begging by simply not asking at all!
(as you can probably imagine this doesn't work too well
either).
Finally two things dawned on me:
The first was that i obviously wasn't a natural so i'd
have to put in a good deal of practice.
Secondly - that "asking politely" always felt far easier
to do (even though to the untrained observer it looked
and sounded exactly like begging) so i started my
begging practice with "asking politely".
Heres a few things i learned along the way:
When "asking politely" :
Requests seem to be received better when addressed in
the general direction of the dominant knee.
"Would like" and "May i" are good and "really need"
and "must have" are not so good (there is too much
of a temptation to prove otherwise).
Ask for a convenient time to "politely ask" for a big
request and stick to it (in other words don't use
"asking politely" for a convenient time as a platform to
launch straight in with your request - it's not polite!)
You CAN over do "cute"
Prepare yourself for accepting rejection respectfully.
If the answer is "no" then you are going to be disappointed
- so why not save yourself the embarrassment of having
to apologise for disrespectful behaviour (flouncing or
pouting is only a quick fix to frustration).
Pushing for a decision is far more likely to turn "i'll
think about it" into "no" than "yes".
Don't struggle too much with "asking politely" it
might not get you all the things you would like but it
will definately put a smile on an important face (and
when he's smiling.... well..... do i need to say anymore?) Edited Mon 19 May 03, 10:27 PM by lili
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