Sort by last reply . janiya's profile
| 30 Dec 07 | My way of coping... (24) | (5 Jan 08, 8:43 PM by Darkgirl) |
| Things are quite surreal at the moment, but I have reached some level of acceptance as to what has happened since 5pm last Thursday. A few minutes after arriving home after a lovely afternoon out, Thomas clutched his chest and stomach. The ambulance arrived quickly and took us to the hospital. He was in a lot of pain, though he still managed to pull the oxygen mask off and tell me 'Don't worry darling, I will fight this!' He had a CT scan which showed dissections of the aorta. The decision was made that he should go to the specialist cardio hospital 100 miles from us. [more...] | ||
| 11 Dec 07 | Yup... it's one of those goodbye blogs (3) | (11 Dec 07, 12:54 PM by Sweetiejar) |
| Just incase people start to wonder who has disappeared from their networks, yes it's me. Six months after we left the UK, there seems like little point remaining here. BDSM isn't a big part of our lives anymore, and certainly not public. Also socially... well... we aint part of the loop either. [more...] | ||
| 10 Dec 07 | To love (1) | (10 Dec 07, 9:09 PM by Sweetiejar) |
| For some time now, i have known that something is missing from my life... our life. Some days i have so much love inside of me i feel as if i am going to burst... i'm in danger of smoothering Thomas at times! It is such a strong feeling that it has consumed me. I have tried in vain to ignore these feelings. To be honest, there are times when the feeling is simply just too much. It highlights a space in our lives... a failing on my part... a dream that i am scared to dream. I have misplaced emotions in an attempt to ignore what i feel... i guess it is now time to face up to our dream and to have [more...] | ||
| 9 Dec 07 | Planning and organising | (9 Dec 07, 1:05 PM by janiya) |
| Usually these are two things i love to do... but at the moment i'm just confuddled! lol There was a sneaky plan with us getting wed in Sweden - less interference... greater simplicity. Hmmm... slight catch... it aint working out that way at the moment. [more...] | ||
| 8 Dec 07 | Is there something in the water? | (8 Dec 07, 2:49 PM by janiya) |
| I'm so bloody horny at the moment... not just my usual neediness... this is beyond that and it's driving me crazy! Perhaps that should be i'm driving myself crazy? [more...] | ||
| 7 Dec 07 | Winter | (7 Dec 07, 1:48 PM by janiya) |
| The dark days have been taking their toll on me a little. As we approach the shortest day, it's hard for me to imagine that the daylight hours can actually get any shorter! Despite this there are many things i enjoy about this season. [more...] | ||
| 7 Dec 07 | Christmas emotions | (7 Dec 07, 8:41 AM by janiya) |
| For the last nine years i have struggled with the 'Jolly season'. There are many superficial reasons, but there is one main factor why i tend i withdraw this time of year. [more...] | ||
| 6 Dec 07 | Changing life | (6 Dec 07, 2:31 PM by janiya) |
| I've been on a bit of an emotional rollercoaster recently - all my own fault, though i can't make out the main contributing factor - is it that i worry too much or that i care too much... As i don't want to give up caring, i am coming to the conclusion that i worry too much. [more...] | ||
| 3 Dec 07 | I need... | (3 Dec 07, 2:40 PM by janiya) |
| I need to feel your pain, the depths of which i have never felt before. [more...] | ||
| 2 Dec 07 | Distraction and a need. | (2 Dec 07, 9:08 AM by janiya) |
| I had a fantastic time in the UK. Spent time with some wonderful people and was generally spoilt rotten. Been back a week or so and now it is time to re-focus. [more...] | ||
| 1 Dec 07 | Chocolate (6) | (3 Dec 07, 7:20 PM by Michellecd) |
| I confess i ate some... please don't ask me to quantify 'some'.. | ||
| 30 Nov 07 | Hungry for... (1) | (30 Nov 07, 9:38 PM by abby1983) |
| Food, sex, pain, porn... even the buzz i get from the gym... i just want more of everything lol. Not quite sure what is going on here. [more...] | ||
| 29 Nov 07 | Housewife (2) | (29 Nov 07, 3:19 PM by janiya) |
| OK, technically i'm not his wife yet, but that's a minor detail. [more...] | ||
| 28 Nov 07 | Inflicting self-masochism | (28 Nov 07, 4:55 PM by janiya) |
Joined the local gym today... a bit of a power house, than a regular gym, but at least i'll have some eye-candy whilst working out  I really need to start pushing myself once again. Things have slipped a little since i was ill, and whilst i haven't put any weight on, i know i can give more than what i have been doing. [more...]
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| 28 Nov 07 | A kick up the arse (3) | (28 Nov 07, 1:08 PM by janiya) |
| After an indulgent few days away, it's now time to get back on track with things. The days here are becoming very short. The sun only comes out for a couple of hours and as a result it is very hard to get motivated to do anything when it's dark. By 3pm it is pitch dark and it feels like bedtime! [more...] | ||
| 27 Nov 07 | Pondering | (27 Nov 07, 1:01 PM by janiya) |
| I have so many thoughts whizzing around at the moment, that it is starting to make me feel dizzy. It's not a stressful feeling really, just hectic. I'm desperately trying to maintain control over certain aspects and events, but this is not something that i am good at - assertive i am not! [more...] | ||
| 26 Nov 07 | Don't you piss on my parade! | (26 Nov 07, 5:57 PM by janiya) |
| Why why why! [more...] | ||
| 25 Nov 07 | Are we mad getting married? (4) | (25 Nov 07, 9:49 PM by Skyhook) |
| When i was little i planned my wedding day, envisaged exactly what it would be like, the church, the dress, the flowers etc etc... As i entered my twenties i became disillusioned generally with 'institutions' and vowed never to voluntarily enter one myself, that being marriage. Why the change? Well other than the fantastic man i share my life with, in Sweden we have much more flexibility regarding the venue, ceremony etc... so the wedding reflects who we are as people. It will be informal, relaxed and shared with close friends and family only. [more...] | ||
| 23 Nov 07 | My UK tour comes to an end + some news (4) | (24 Nov 07, 3:49 PM by janiya) |
| And i am absolutely shattered! [more...] | ||
| 14 Nov 07 | Packing | (14 Nov 07, 9:25 AM by janiya) |
| Well i'm almost there after a battle with the suitcase. Yes i could have just used a bigger case but that would have been too simple! We've had really heavy snow over night. The snow-ploughs are out but abandoned cars are making things difficult, so the drive to the airport may be interesting. [more...] | ||
