Another step forward (3)

bondagette's profile

bondagette
Posted by bondagette on Thu 1 May 08, 7:35 PM

To date I've had about six counselling sessions. My GP recommended I make use of this service to overcome all the problems I've faced in the last few years. It has been very beneficial so far- though it has definitely used up a lot of my mental strength.

I'm currently working on methods to make myself feel safer, more confident and able to cope in demanding situations. Although I never got the answers I needed from my ex, my counsellor has spent time helping me understand what went wrong, and what reasons may have lead to our very messy break-up. I cannot put into words how helpful this has been. By studying how different our backgrounds were, how different circumstances threatened us, and how both our pasts have influenced our lives- I'm beginning to gain a clearer understanding of what went wrong. One of the worst things about a break-up is the uncertainty of why something ended so suddenly. The confusion and unanswered questions literally haunt you.

I've also had to discuss the sexual assault I was subjected to when I was 17. It's amazing how so many of my negative traits stemmed from that incident; the lack of confidence, the guilt, the feeling of being a failure, the difficulty in trusting others. I even gained weight after the attack because it made me feel safer. It was a shell for me, and made me believe that I would not be targeted again because I was unattractive.

But now I'm reaching a place where I want to feel attractive again, I want to be able to trust- and find that special person who has the patience to wait for me. I want to move on.

Since my break up I've made so many new friends- some of whom I now live with. It's reminded me of what I have to offer people and how much I missed socialising when I was wrapped up in my last relationship. I'm my own person now, and not reliant on someone else- I can function without them. In many ways I'm the strongest I've been in years. I'm proud of how far I've come, and I'm finally seeing the future as a positive place to head.

Replies

1 May 08, 7:41 PM
northernwench
UK, 3 yrs
Good for you for making positive steps forward.
Break ups are never anyones 'fault' - everyone always has their part to play. Its all part of lifes rich tapestry
Good luck though I doubt you will need it.
x
Goddard!

1 May 08, 7:52 PM
still_learning
UK, 8 mths
bondagette wrote:
Since my break up I've made so many new friends- some of whom I now live with. It's reminded me of what I have to offer people and how much I missed socialising when I was wrapped up in my last relationship. I'm my own person now, and not reliant on someone else- I can function without them. In many ways I'm the strongest I've been in years. I'm proud of how far I've come, and I'm finally seeing the future as a positive place to head.

You have turned a very, very important corner.
Look ahead and before you is the road to your future, your dreams your destiny.
The road will not always be straight nor will it be covered with the finest and smoothest tarmacadam, but travel that road with your new found friends and you will grow stronger with each and every step.
Should you slip then do not worry. Reach for the proffered hand, dust yourself off and continue onwards
xx
To care, to support, to comfort and to be there for those facing difficult times is perhaps our greatest attribute.

3 May 08, 5:41 PM
bondagette
UK, 13 mths
Thank you very much for your comments- I really appreciate them xxx


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