You clearly have no skill with muffins (7)

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billybofh
Posted by billybofh on Tue 17 May 05, 11:37 AM

As I'm off work with the cold just now I've been thinking about things I can do with muffins.

I have a large store of muffins from the panic-buy I did during the Y2k crises. I though everyone else would be stocking up on canned beans and Allinson wholemeal bread - so I went for the muffins instead.

Anyway, as I have maybe 3 or 4 thousand muffins in a luckup under the railway arches I've been struggling to find a use for them seeing as the world didn't end. (Come to think of it, I'm not sure what aid the muffins would have been in the event of the world ending in any case. Hindsight eh?). I've tried dressing them up and sending them to local discotheques. They pulled more often than I did though so I stopped sending them as it was doing my self-esteem no good at all.

I tried to make them ride bikes for me to save me the bother, but they just don't have the balance and seem to enjoy riding right up to children and screeching at them till they get off the swings. They don't even use the swings once they're free. It's just cruelty really.

I did think about breeding from them - you know, putting them out to stud. But then it seems there are a lot of people in a similar position to me w/regards muffins so there is a bit of a glut.

So, here I am wistfully dreaming of a time-machine so I could go back and explain my present predicament to my former self.

The moral of the story is : Don't panic during a potential world-wide disasster and purchase more muffins than you have ready use for.

A lesson for us all, I'm sure.

Edited Tue 17 May 05, 11:44 AM by billybofh

Replies

17 May 05, 12:41 PM
DomXmale
UK, 4 yrs I'll have a half of whatever your on anytime lol but it did put a smile on my face well needed today I have had the Monday and Tuesday morning blues this week. If I get any better ideas I'll let you know
Tony

17 May 05, 12:46 PM
travelling_man
3 yrs an important lesson for us all
ok - i'll come clean - i have a whorehouse (accidental typo??? I'll let you decide) full of totty .. oopss ... typo ... toffees ... cream eclairs (lavishly bursting with my own whipped crem) .... and a handful of sherberts....
yes my dear friends, i never wanted to be a dom or a master... i wanted to be a sweet shop owner ... striding from tin to tin ... and I'll sing sing sing ...
I'm a sweet keeper and I'm OK
I work all night and sleep all day
I weigh out sweets
I skip and jump
I go to the lavatory
On wednesday I drink coffee
and buttered scones for tea
I wear high heels
I skip and jump
I like to press wild flowers
I wish I'd been a girlie
Just like my dear papa
..... please don't tell anyone....this is our little secret... just between you and me ... ok?? ...

17 May 05, 1:41 PM
Jezzebelle
UK, 7 yrs
Have you tried calling the muffin man, I believe he lives in Drury Lane...
He might be able to advise on what to do with second hand muffins...
Failing that train them to do circus acts and take them on the road and make your fortune
J
The mind is like a parachute, only useful when it is open...
Anon

17 May 05, 2:21 PM
billybofh
UK, 7 yrs

Jezzebelle wrote:
Have you tried calling the muffin man, I believe he lives in Drury Lane...
He might be able to advise on what to do with second hand muffins...
Failing that train them to do circus acts and take them on the road and make your fortune
J
I did not seek outside advice as it often leads me astray. I will have no truck with circus-folk due to their cruel use of sawdust and continual kidnapping of children whom they disguise as bears and tigers in order to set the RSPCA and NSPCC against each other.
Damn them!
:: shakes fist ::

17 May 05, 2:26 PM
travelling_man
3 yrs is no one instersted in what i said ...

I'll just hide in the corner playing with my sweets... got some worthers originals which I'll swap for a muffin...

17 May 05, 3:40 PM
billybofh
UK, 7 yrs

travelling_man wrote:
is no one instersted in what i said ...

I'll just hide in the corner playing with my sweets... got some worthers originals which I'll swap for a muffin...

Beware men bearing Wurthers Originals... that's what my old ma used to tell me.
Even though my father worked in the factory.
I guess they loved each other in their own way.

17 May 05, 4:18 PM
DomXmale
UK, 4 yrs
travelling_man wrote:
is no one instersted in what i said ...

I'll just hide in the corner playing with my sweets... got some worthers originals which I'll swap for a muffin...

I suppose your chat up line is "Wanna sweetie litle girl?" as well eh Last time I tried that one I got my face slapped. It wasn't a little girly but a dumper truck driver dressed as a hairy trannie outside the Fossa munch. I nearly ended up in the Canal.
T


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