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IC : Weblogs : billybofh : "It's not you, it's me"
It's not you, it's me (2)
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Posted by billybofh on Mon 11 Dec 06, 9:16 PM
"No, really - it's me" I say.
"No! It's *me*!" my puppet replies.
I sigh quietly and look in the mirror again.
"It really is definitely me..."
"Me me me me me!" screams the puppet.
I let things slide for the moment and begin to pull on his little socks. I wish he was able to do it himself, but after our last argument when I tore off his arms, I feel a little guilty even mentioning it. Especially as just re-attaching them with sellotape doesn't seem to have worked very well.
I think he's a little self-conscious around lady puppets now.
I tie his little shoes on and he slips off my lap and runs over to the sink to get a glass of water. He doesn't ask if I want one. Deliberately I suspect in order to make me ask.
"Can I have a glass too?"
"Only if you try to wake up Marjory again!"
I pause. Marjory was his puppet-companion dog who had an adorable stutter and was often very shy with it. Sadly, I'd accidentally set fire to Marjory when I had a bit much to drink and stubbed out a cigarette on her supposedly inflammable fur. That's what comes of buying shy dog-puppets from a guy in a pub I suppose.
I told my puppet that Marjory was just asleep in her basket as I couldn't face explaining. I'd had to make quite a few excuses about the smell of molten fabric that pervaded our flat for a few days afterwards too.
However, once in a while he would remember and ask me to try waking her. I was never quite sure if he knew, and was just trying to make me feel bad about it.
I tapped gently at the basket. "Marjory...." I whispered... "Marjory.....".
There was, unsurprisingly, no sign of life.
My puppet looked a little sad and walked back over to me with our two glasses of water.
"Never mind," I said, "She'll wake up again one day!"
"No, she won't." He said. "She hates me."
"Well, I love you!" I lied.
"Do you?"
"Yes."
I looked in the mirror again and smiled. My little puppet climbed onto my shoulder and began to cry "It's not you, it's me! It's not you, it's me!" over and over.
In the end, I had to drown him in his half-empty glass of water.
It was a kindness.
Really.
It's just me now. Me and the mirror. Happy in our solitary love at last.
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