beatabeatrix's weblog on Informed Consent http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/weblogs/beatabeatrix/ The IC RSS Gadget webmaster@informedconsent.co.uk 360 Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:10:47 GMT Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:10:47 GMT Mon, 29 Dec 2008 22:10:47 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/220744/ The shop in my village had Easter Eggs for sale today? Have I had a Rip Van Winkle moment? Mon, 22 Dec 2008 09:01:51 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/219920/ Stuffed deer heads on walls are bad enough, but it's worse when they are wearing dark glasses and have streamers in their antlers because then you know they were enjoying themselves at a party when they were shot. - Ellen DeGeneres Sat, 06 Dec 2008 10:40:00 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/218103/ What does Geronimo yell when he jumps out of a plane? Mon, 01 Dec 2008 18:24:11 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/217529/ Nature has placed mankind under the government of two sovereign masters, pain and pleasure - they govern us in all we do, in all we say, in all we think: every effort we can make to throw off our subjection, will serve but to demonstrate and confirm this. Mon, 01 Dec 2008 13:05:07 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/217494/ If you set to work with a knife that will cut through anything and Tupperware that's guaranteed not to break, what happens? Fri, 28 Nov 2008 23:48:13 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/217155/ 20 lengths today! I can feel gills starting to develop. Mon, 24 Nov 2008 22:35:03 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/216664/ I have just found out that my Dad ( see the previous blog) is sleeping on the sofa in his own home!!! That is because my step mother's 90 year old mother is staying there!!!! My 30 something step sister has all 4 of her kids there as usual ( even though she has a place of her own!!!) and my step brother still lives at home ( 30 something, fit,able bodied!)is in his room....YET MY 77 YEAR OLD FATHER WHO IS MOST PROBABLY DYING IS SLEPPING ON THE SOFA.....WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN THAT HOUSE FULL OF ADULTS WHO SHOULD BE ABLE TO MAKE CAREFUL, SENSITIVE AND SENSIBLE DECISIONS???? I am shaking as I type this blog, can't even think why I am sharing this with you all - although some of the most sound and sane advice/support often comes from here and not from my nearest and dearest. I know my father is an adult and has probably given up his bed curtiously, but he is not sleeping well there and I feel he hasn't got the energy to argue with the rest of the ingrates he lives with! I am planning to pick him up tomorrow and bring him to my home. He can have my son's room ( double bed there) and I can let him have some peace and quiet with us. I had no idea this was going on until tonight.... Why do people get treated like this? Sat, 22 Nov 2008 23:08:16 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/216448/ Well the swimming certainly didn't bugger up my ability to move so I decided to drive my son and I to Walsall. We had great fun at a Diwalli festival; eating samosas, making masks and listening to very loud Hindi music...my ears are still ringing! On our way back we called into see my Dad. I haven't seen him for a couple of months due to not being able to drive and him also not being able to drive due to his diabetes which has been playing up recently. The man I saw today was not my Dad. The frail, thin and gaunt figure that greeted me was an old man, not the man I know as Dad and my son knows as Grandpa. This sight of this person even shocked my son. He sat in the conservatory watching the rugby ( a Welshman and huge rugby fan!) with a car rug around his legs saying he was cold. His white mop of hair hanging limply around his face. This is the man both my children call Santa because of his white hair and beard ( he was Captain Birdseye to me!). He wasn't a jolly Santa or sailor today....just a shadow of the man who is my Dad. Fri, 21 Nov 2008 14:02:00 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/216264/ I swam 10 lengths today, didn't even think I would manage one at first. The water felt very strange because I have numb areas round my body, particularly on my hands and arms. I was surprised at how strong my legs were given that they don't always work when I want them to. I could have swam further, but I neeeded to know how I would be afterwards.......feeling ok at the moment, no aches and pains....wait till tomorrow morning! :) Sat, 08 Nov 2008 18:32:00 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/214648/ I managed to do it tonight. It has been a struggle up until now. I spent time planning and organising the space I needed. I have often failed before. I nearly resorted to asking for help but being a stubborn and bloodyminded Capricorn I just kept plodding on. I lay there naked surrounded by candles and warm water plucking up courage to start. I held the blade, poised ready for action. Then I struck...... I finally shaved my legs!!! Fri, 17 Oct 2008 09:13:35 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/211817/ It's 08.59 and I am contemplating going to have my shower in order to get myself ready for the day - not an ordinary day-but a day which could change my life for a few weeks, months or even years. Thu, 09 Oct 2008 17:56:41 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/210888/ Just realised I have been on IC for 2 years today...and where has it got me :) Wed, 08 Oct 2008 09:21:56 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/210722/ Treatment day looms..... Friday 17th Oct for a whole weekend, not my idea of a weekend away but the bed and food are free along with some needle play! Thank you to all the fellow IC'ers who have messaged me and given me much neeeded support and advice. I just hope I am skipping out of the ward on Sunday night! :) Mon, 29 Sep 2008 20:34:56 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/210108/ It was confirmed today that I have the early stages of Multiple Sclerosis. Sun, 28 Sep 2008 22:13:57 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/209993/ At last the appointment I have been waiting for since my surgery in July. I hope that the consultant will now be able to give me some treatment to aleviate my symptoms and let me lead a "normal" life instead of having to rely so heavily on the good will of others! My biggest goal is to be able to drive properly...further than the end of my village without my legs packing up and having to be rescued by friends! To walk without my stick and not be frightened of falling over, to walk freely and not have to think about it! Oh to run as well......that may come later-I hope! TO BE ABLE TO WEAR MY HIGH HEELS!!! To be able to kneel down.....a sub who cannot kneel can be pretty useless! To be able to be tied up without everything going numb straight away!!! To be able to use my hands without them seizing up and becoming clumsy....can't play my guitar as well as I used to. My creative work has suffered to because I have little or no motivation to produce pieces, I cannot get to my courses, meetings and applying for commissions is futile if I cannot get to galleries,etc. So roll on tomorrow. I need answers - but I also realise it may mean more tests and more time in hospital too. The usual treatment is steroids.....whooppeee! At least I could be ready for the 2012 weight lifting team by then! :) Wish me luck fellow IC'ers. A very scared Bea tonight. Tue, 23 Sep 2008 16:49:37 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/209271/ "Woman was created from the rib of man: Not from his head to be thought of only, nor from his hand to be owned, nor from his foot to be beneath, but from under his arm to be protected, from his side to be equal, and from his heart to be loved..". Sun, 21 Sep 2008 23:44:22 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/209033/ "All our young lives we search for someone to love. Someone who makes us complete. We choose partners & change partners. We dance to a song of heartbreak & hope. All the while wondering if somewhere, somehow, there's someone perfect who might be searching for us". Sun, 21 Sep 2008 18:33:57 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/208983/ "Love is like a friendship caught on fire. In the beginning a flame, very pretty, often hot and fierce, but still only light and flickering. As love grows older, our hearts mature and our love becomes as coals, Deep-burning and unquenchable." Bruce Lee Sun, 21 Sep 2008 14:55:31 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/208948/ Some mornings it just doesn't seem worth it to gnaw through the leather straps. - Emo Phillips Fri, 12 Sep 2008 18:11:51 GMT http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/posts/207838/ "Love is as much of an object as an obsession, everybody wants it everybody seeks it, but few ever achieve it, those who do, will cherish it, be lost in it, and among all, will never...never forget it."