Sort by last reply . aphenine's profile
| 26 Apr 12 | Profile | (26 Apr 12, 11:57 AM by aphenine) |
| I've finally updated my profile. The last time I made the profile was several years ago and it was utterly out of date. I think I would have updated it a little had not the LLM gotten on my case and told me I should. I can be stubborn when I'm furious. [more...] | ||
| 23 Apr 12 | A month and a half on hormones (2) | (23 Apr 12, 7:07 PM by aphenine) |
| I've been on the hormones for about a month and a half now, and the time has been really tough. I went through a week where I couldn't stop crying, and I think my immune system isn't as strong as it should be because of I've been ill from two nasty colds for almost all of that time. [more...] | ||
| 1 Apr 12 | Changes (part 3) | (1 Apr 12, 7:34 PM by aphenine) |
| Ok, enough with the previous topic. Time to move onto some of the other changes. [more...] | ||
| 1 Apr 12 | Changes (part 2) | (1 Apr 12, 12:25 AM by aphenine) |
| Right, where was I? Oh, yes, I was talking about the way my brain changed which sex I'm attracted to in response to its changed perception of my genitalia. [more...] | ||
| 29 Mar 12 | Changes (1) | (29 Mar 12, 3:24 PM by KittyPeach28) |
| There have been many changes that have been happening, not least because of the hormones, that I'm going to try and put down in words. [more...] | ||
| 23 Mar 12 | Starting Hormones (3) | (24 Mar 12, 3:22 PM by aphenine) |
| This week, I started on taking hormones. [more...] | ||
| 18 Jan 12 | Hormones | (18 Jan 12, 7:50 PM by aphenine) |
| On the 5th of January, I had my next appointment with the Gender Identity Clinic. Neither my therapist nor I thought we'd get anywhere, so I'd resolved to just give them a piece of my mind at how they'd generally treated me, having come to an understanding with my therapist that it was not particularly nice or ethical by any standard. [more...] | ||
| 3 Jan 12 | Oestrogen and Triggers | (3 Jan 12, 3:59 AM by aphenine) |
| It's common wisdom that oestrogen makes people all emotional and testosterone makes people aggressive. It seems to work as common wisdom because, well, women have lots of oestrogen in them and one of the defining characteristics of women is that they're supposed to be emotional. [more...] | ||
| 12 Dec 11 | Naming Change | (12 Dec 11, 4:36 AM by aphenine) |
| I finally changed my name legally, which has been fun. I am now officially my female name! Yey! [more...] | ||
| 1 Nov 11 | Shake It Out (2) | (17 Nov 11, 6:35 AM by aphenine) |
| I'm going to leave patterns and go back to the main thread of what I was writing about. The third reason about why everything seemed to be slotting together neatly was that, having figured out the way the past was intruding on the present, it made me realise that I didn't have to live with the past screwing up my life all the time. [more...] | ||
| 25 Oct 11 | Patterns | (25 Oct 11, 6:48 AM by aphenine) |
| Life is not going very well at the moment. The trigger, if anything, seems to have been trying to talk about stuff. While it was in my head, it was OK, but having it outside my head means that people might shout at me. [more...] | ||
| 16 Oct 11 | Positive results of the LLM situation | (16 Oct 11, 6:29 AM by aphenine) |
| The second thing that is behind why things are going so well is that I seem to have learnt a lot about myself from the LLM situation. I think I know roughly why I behaved the way I did and what the reasons were for the things that I did. I know what I found upsetting and why. [more...] | ||
| 15 Oct 11 | Repressed memories | (15 Oct 11, 6:03 AM by aphenine) |
| The first part of the narrative I need to construct begins, I think, with hormonal changes. It seems my hormonal changes have gone far enough that it takes a lot of effort to get properly erect and ejaculate. In other words, ordinary sexual activity as a man is becoming very difficult. However, sexual activity as a woman is becoming easier. It is, for the first time in my life, easier to have a female sexuality than a male one. [more...] | ||
| 15 Oct 11 | Life drops together | (15 Oct 11, 5:00 AM by aphenine) |
| Life at the moment is very strange. Everything has been going very well, yet at the same time, everything feels very traumatic and painful. While this is true of everything, it is particularly true of BDSM stuff. [more...] | ||
| 25 Sep 11 | Life... | (25 Sep 11, 4:39 PM by aphenine) |
| The last while has been a time of immense changes and revelations, and it's hard to keep up. It gets tiring and I've reached the stage of "oh, good, another life changing moment, how lovely... now go wait over there with all the other ones until I have time for you...". As usual I have no idea how to express any of them, and if I don't express myself clearly and emphatically first time, whatever I say will have random stuff read into it and be used against me to vilify me for something I don't even believe in. In other words, life as usual. [more...] | ||
| 16 Sep 11 | More Hormonal Stuff (2) | (21 Sep 11, 6:15 PM by aphenine) |
| Two posts ago, I wrote about how I was simulating what it would be like to have a female body and all of the things that would entail. [more...] | ||
| 30 Aug 11 | Rin Daughters of Mnemosyne (anime) | (30 Aug 11, 12:52 PM by aphenine) |
| I watched this recently because it looked interesting. It's a six part anime that follows the character Rin, who is an immortal private detective over some sixty years into the future, with her sidekick Mimi, who is also immortal. [more...] | ||
| 9 Aug 11 | Sexuality Stuff | (9 Aug 11, 5:55 PM by aphenine) |
| My sexuality has been pretty crazy over the last few months, and it's taken a lot of getting used to. [more...] | ||
| 24 Jul 11 | Three Months | (24 Jul 11, 7:10 AM by aphenine) |
| The three months of May, June and what's passed of July have been really, really turbulent emotionally. The lows have seen me go back to suicidal depression and various other such stuff, while the highs have seen me achieve a lot of things in what feels like a short space of time. [more...] | ||
| 21 Jun 11 | Gaffer Tape (2) | (24 Jun 11, 12:06 PM by KinkyRoly) |
| This is a random memory that boiled up to the surface because of things that I've been doing. [more...] | ||
