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| alexandraa |
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| 22 Sep 04 | Divorce | (22 Sep 04, 6:46 PM by alexandraa) |
| Its the aniversary of my divorce this weekend, 4 years ago now and nearly 5 years ago I split up with my husband. I met him just over 20 years ago now, sodding hell, went out with the poor bugger on the rebound when I was a few days over 21 and ended up marrying him. I have a certain amount of guilt within me for that but you see at the time I thought settling for safe and secure, reliable and predictable was a good thing. Was I insane? No just absolutely had no self confidence and knew he loved me and thought that was enough. [more...] | ||
| 21 Sep 04 | Limits? Too much self analysis - too much swearing too | (21 Sep 04, 9:37 PM by alexandraa) |
| Ok tough week at work having to be exceptionally eggshell like in my approach right now, having to deal with the fragile egos of politicans, poor babes. Need a good whack with a cane is what. Got nasty nasty meeting Friday where I just know I will be flayed alive and not in a good way. Anyhow due to overload of tact and diplomacy at work you're now getting absolutely none at all on here. Well for fucks sake I've never been flamed yet so let's see if I can make that happen. I think all this stuff about limits is bollocks. [more...] | ||
| 19 Sep 04 | Anal taboo? | (19 Sep 04, 3:05 PM by alexandraa) |
| And before you get all excited this isn't an invite for you lot to come round and bugger me ruthlessly… (sounds nice though doesn't it? Yum..) unless of course you've finally got your acts together and bought that kangaroo flogger hmmmmm???? Form an orderly queue and no jostling at the back… What better is there to do on a Sunday afternoon than talk anal? Well apart from actually doing it I mean? [more...] | ||
| 17 Sep 04 | Enter stage right......... Alexandra sweeps in | (17 Sep 04, 7:47 PM by alexandraa) |
| Let me just roll the clocks back a tad. During the summer I bought a most delicious coat, full length, leather, black, full skirted and sweeping, I say sweeeeeeeeeeppppppping. Very sexy in my opinion. Bargain off ebay, total bargain I shall say that again, bargain, scrummy soft leather and so very very fetish. Begs to be worn out doors with nothing under it apart from boots. One day maybe..... Perhaps if Colbeh and I ever meet for lunch.... Mwahahahahhahahahhahahahhaha..... OK OK maybe not, i admit it's hardly discreet combined with the bright blonde hair. [more...] | ||
| 15 Sep 04 | Confidence | (15 Sep 04, 6:33 PM by alexandraa) |
| Its odd how things turn out. I dont mean by any stretch of the imagination that I see myself in a pattern that might not change from here on forward, christ sake i'm a meer babe. Just managing to walk in this deviant world. Dont know where my life might take me yet. I have no expectations other than having fun and being happy. Got me to thinking about my expectations many years ago when I was 20 or so and of course completely grown up... [more...] | ||
| 13 Sep 04 | Men in my kitchen | (13 Sep 04, 10:12 PM by alexandraa) |
| The washer is fixed hurrraahhhhhhhhhhhhhh I know you will all be glad for me and were worried sick about me having to roughen my delicate lilly white hands on acting like a scrubber. I could feel your sympathy flowing .... ok ok so you weren't bothered at all but a girl can have her pretenses cant she? Anyhow for the second time in the last couple of days I had 2 men in my kitchen and what a bloody mess they left both times. How the fuck do they manage it? I swear I am so happy to live on my own. [more...] | ||
| 12 Sep 04 | Where do these ideas come from indeed… | (12 Sep 04, 12:01 PM by alexandraa) |
| Following Calic's blog... I recently had an email row with some dom because his view was childhood experiences develop our BDSM tendencies whereas I full well know I had those tendencies for as long as I can remember. He said because his mother was dominant and controlling it had made him want to be that way as a reaction to her control. But then how does that explain that my mother has a double first class honours in manipulation and control and yet I am sub? Although I don't do so bad at manipulation and control myself it has to be said. Apart from Colbeh who could spot a manipulative [more...] | ||
| 11 Sep 04 | Clinically mad as a badger? | (11 Sep 04, 4:50 PM by alexandraa) |
| Ok I'm not a nutter, not a frog box badger mad woman at all. So why is it I like to see marks of canes, crops and bites on my body? I think partly it's about the person that gave them to me and the memory of that experience but it's also simply that I just like to see my body marked in that manner. I find it erotic. That's not particularly sane surely? Not intellectually sound. While we're on the subject why do I like to feel pain I hate? Its madness isn't it? I should be locked up immediately…. Tied against a wall somewhere…. Preferably naked and beaten hard….. marked and used…..coughs…. [more...] | ||
| 8 Sep 04 | Nowt as daft as a newbie sub | (8 Sep 04, 10:20 PM by alexandraa) |
| Following evil twin of mine's blog (caprycorn for those that haven't firgured that one out yet) I simply feel obliged to humiliate myself and tell you of a couple of dimwitted things I did when I was new to this scene. Have to say it was prior to Colbeh so be prepared for daftness... So my two most daftess things or maybe not, will probably think of loads more the second I post this blog.... [more...] | ||
| 7 Sep 04 | A new love.......... EDIT | (7 Sep 04, 8:25 PM by alexandraa) |
| I have a new love. I am swept away, dazzled, blown apart, I swoon, I ooze and dribble.... OK OK too much information? My god but but but.... welllllll check my love out for yourselves .... how simply simply delicious...... you have to agree.... [more...] | ||
| 5 Sep 04 | Lotions and Potions | (5 Sep 04, 9:25 PM by alexandraa) |
| Been browsing through the shops listed on Informed Consent and came across one for some interesting pastes and salves.... made from fresh ginger, lime, chilli etc recommended for figging and usefully cooking... haha. Was chatting to evil twin at the same time and she has forced me to come and blog a story about Colbeh and i.... and a substance known as Firey Jack..... She forced me Colbeh its her fault I would never tell a story like this without being forced at evil twin point...... [more...] | ||
| 30 Aug 04 | Roasted Red is not Terracota & compromises (edit) | (30 Aug 04, 3:53 PM by alexandraa) |
| Well long weekend and i've been up and down the country and had a great time all in all. Started on Friday collecting the delightful teaserpleaser and dashing up to evil twin's to try on corsets galore to the amusement of mini Domme. Then across to Huddersfield for a full on injection of Yorkshire accent and to get ready for Nemesis. [more...] | ||
| 25 Aug 04 | Friends & Evil Twins | (25 Aug 04, 10:14 PM by alexandraa) |
| Friends are cool and i love them and its so good to have them in my life. So so so so good. So god dam fucking good to have my most important people all in my life again. So good to feel happy, strong and peaceful too. We dont ever know what the future might bring. Today i am just happy to have my friends all around me (figuratively speaking). The way it should be. [more...] | ||
| 24 Aug 04 | Too strong or too weak to submit & religion | (24 Aug 04, 6:53 PM by alexandraa) |
| Ohhh so many threads I wanted to pick up tonight and that was after thinking to myself I was drying up and running out of things to blog about. Anyway firstly bucks1 said – Too strong or too weak to submit? Its neither bucks. Its an inner desire, a burning, a need, a hope, a wish. I personally think you have it but respect your wish to take a different path. When I talk of dominance or submission and hear people question their wish to be in the lifestyle I always say where do your desires lie. I know for me, yes I can switch, I can pick up a cane and get enjoyment from giving someone [more...] | ||
| 23 Aug 04 | Sometimes i'm so seriously sick | (23 Aug 04, 8:37 PM by alexandraa) |
| I learnt about a new thing this weekend - lactation. Unbelieveably so long as you're not on pill or post menopausal you can induce lactation. Great huh? Errrrr nope. I think I just found a new hard limit actually. Thank god i'm on the injection thingy so even if i wanted i couldn't try it phew. But hey each to their own. Was an interesting read and for others out there that have (shall we say) "inquisitive" minds follow this link http://www.bloodinmoonlight.com/lgl/lact.html [more...] | ||
| 22 Aug 04 | Wet and dripping | (22 Aug 04, 9:08 PM by alexandraa) |
| I hate to bore you, well actually no I dont I see no reason why you shouldn't be as bored as I. Oh yes damn and blast my landlord, no sign of him yet so more hand washing. Why dont you go to the laundrette? I hear you shriek. Stop shrieking that's rude and in the mood i'm in you'll get a wet slap in the face with a pair of sopping knickers. And I hasten to add not sopping in the way lots of you would like. Well I dont go the laundrette because I dont want to sit with the great unwashed while watching my greats being washed. [more...] | ||
| 21 Aug 04 | Red wine, garlic and sex | (21 Aug 04, 3:57 PM by alexandraa) |
| It's surprising how a couple of glasses of red and a serious dose of full fat Italian garlic imbued carbohydrate can raise the spirits. The session was helped along by the company of my witchy work colleague, a good 6 hour session of laughing and gossiping, plus a solid and thorough swapping of notes on lovers old and new. Yes we talked cocks. Of course we talked cocks, sex, places we'd had sex, antics we'd got up to etc etc. We only had 6 hours so we scarcely scratched the surface... <grins wickedly> And yes she couldn't believe that Colbeh could make me cum just by telling me and [more...] | ||
| 19 Aug 04 | Dirty Laundry & Painful Desire | (19 Aug 04, 8:26 PM by alexandraa) |
| It's not what you think fellow deviants its neither sniffing of knickers nor gossip so you best get off to that corner to play with yourselves instead… and don't make a mess! The fact of the matter is my washing machine has broken down, oh yes CRISIS at hand. AND the cnuting twetting custard of a landlord has his phone switched off. Who does he think he is? Doesn't he know who I am? I've been trying the southern monkey all day. If he has gone on holiday he is toast, mince and all sorts of other very dead things. Stick with me its getting interesting now………. [more...] | ||
| 15 Aug 04 | On your knees bitches | (15 Aug 04, 6:04 PM by alexandraa) |
| I've been surprised by many things Dominants have said to me over the past couple of months. The thing that has astounded me, and I have heard a few times, is Doms complaining about playing with subs that have no interest in the Dominant's pleasure. What??? I hear you screech. Well yes apparently that's the case. So I thought about my own experiences and wondered if viewed from the other side have I ever been selfish? Definitely in my vanilla relationships ohhh yes, but hey surely my pleasure was primary then? (Whistles innocently and is glad not to see the look on Colbeh's face). [more...] | ||
| 13 Aug 04 | Thank Fork its Friday | (13 Aug 04, 3:30 PM by alexandraa) |
| Seems ruder putting fuck in a title than in the body of the composition so for those that didnt click, fork = fuck. Dont try it at home though. Been a long week work wise been really really hectic. Also been good on the friends front and I am happy to say I feel back on form in all sorts of directions. Just knackered and glad its friday. [more...] | ||
