| 23 Oct 04 | Phone sex - the day he lost it…. | (23 Oct 04, 1:54 PM by alexandraa) |
| Phone sex. Yes, well, some of you will be thinking
what the fuck is that about, others how rubbish is
that and then others still, whey hey bring it on.
Same deal as any sex in my book - see previous blog,
engage mind and body and bingo. OK you might be
engaging your own body but if you let yourself go,
slip away into the world the 2 of you create in your
heads then it can be really fulfilling. I've had that
Bambi on ice feeling from phone sex too. It's
certainly been better than any vanilla sex I've had or
any wank I've tried on my own (yawnnnnn to both).
It's also been completely [more...]
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| 22 Oct 04 | Sex...... I love it | (22 Oct 04, 7:55 PM by alexandraa) |
| There are some days when you think to yourself
welllllll…… it just doesn't get any better than this.
I hate to bore you all (oh no I don't) with the sordid
details of my sex life (yum yum) but can feel you
pulling chairs up, opening packets of biscuits and
pouring coffee, so here goes… [more...]
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| 21 Oct 04 | Dont push too far, your dreams are china in your hand? | (21 Oct 04, 4:23 PM by alexandraa) |
| Sometimes when you think you're at a point where
nothing can push you further, no further demand can be
made on your submission, nothing else can be asked of
you, nor surprise you, nor make you think and question
your own submission. Some thing raises it's head.
Could be a small thing could be a big thing. We all
have our different takes on what pushes us and what
doesnt. [more...]
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| 20 Oct 04 | Autumn Days & Deviant Dreams | (20 Oct 04, 10:03 PM by alexandraa) |
| Was dark this morning when I left the house, rainy,
leaves everywhere and dark dark dark. Damp leaf wet
pavement smell. For some reason it threw me right
back to being a teenager. I used to go to school very
very early in the mornings. I lived out in the sticks
and a neighbour used to drop me off on his way to
work. I'd arrive at this blackened building, trees
rustling, dark and empty. Just the caretaker and the
mad gardener. It was a rambling old mansion house of
a school. Huge sprawling place in its own gounds with
a lake and woodland. [more...]
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| 18 Oct 04 | The power rush of slavery | (18 Oct 04, 8:23 PM by alexandraa) |
| Drapetomania - that was sobering, to check that out on
Google after reading Katena's blog. Additionally
sobering after reading hunny's. Slavery - not a
pretty word, nor a pretty concept. No. Sick, sad,
and horrific in its barest basest form. [more...]
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| 17 Oct 04 | Coughed up by the devil | (17 Oct 04, 9:40 PM by alexandraa) |
| I heard that phrase today on the TV isnt it excellent?
He/she was something coughed up by the devil hahhhah
lovely. Have to remember that and use it. [more...]
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| 16 Oct 04 | Oh no!! I'm blue | (16 Oct 04, 5:07 PM by alexandraa) |
| Bugger and blast. I have this thing in the loo
cistern that
colours the water for ages and ages and lately (I know
this is dull stick with it there may be later
excitement) well lately its been fading. Yet when I
check to see do I need to stick a refill in, it hardly
seems to have used any. So today in crossness I
fished it out the tank. It was all yucky and slimey
and dripping.... Slimey and dripping hmmmmmmm now
there's a thought but anyway back to my blueness. [more...]
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| 15 Oct 04 | Take one crop.... or in fact several | (15 Oct 04, 9:15 PM by alexandraa) |
| Receipe for pain [more...]
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| 13 Oct 04 | Buggered Badgers | (13 Oct 04, 9:18 PM by alexandraa) |
| Busy as a buggered badger this week. Why would a
buggered badger be busy? Dont ask me ask the badger I
havent a clue. Wednesday night already and I havent
achieved a thing at work this week. Home life has
been lovely though all the necessary components for a
sated sub. [more...]
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| 11 Oct 04 | Faking Orgasms | (11 Oct 04, 7:20 PM by alexandraa) |
| Can't say faking is something I've felt the need to do
in a long, long time. I remember a strange
conversation I had with a particular evil eyed
dominant, who asked me before we'd met if I could
control my orgasms. At the time I thought what the
fuck is he talking about? Orgasm control was
completely new to me. I said in my ignorance (which I
am still paying for 2.5 years later) it's more a case
of can you make me orgasm than can I stop myself from
cumming until you allow it…….. Ah yes…… I can see
from here, that same particular Dominant falling off
his chair laughing while he twitches [more...]
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| 10 Oct 04 | Why be submissive or dominant? | (10 Oct 04, 11:17 AM by alexandraa) |
| What does the submission dominance thing mean to me,
the hierarchy some people put on it, the definitions
others like to box it with, the labelling, the whole
kit and caboodle of the vast creature known as BDSM,
what is it all about? In some ways the evolvement of
my relationship with Colbeh has turned my head upside
down about my own understanding and conceptions of
D/s. I make my choice about my submission from a
position of strength, power, knowledge, understanding
and experience. I also base it on a couple of
undeniable facts. [more...]
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| 7 Oct 04 | Body language & mind games | (7 Oct 04, 7:46 PM by alexandraa) |
| I think one of the fabulous things about a Ds
relationship is how attuned you become to each other.
How many couples know what a particular movement
means, a slight shift in body stance, a quirk of an
eyebrow? Following a question from Colbeh I got to
thinking about why I can't maintain eye contact with
him when we play. It could be misread as a failure to
submit, a hiding of feelings, a hiding of thoughts, my
self and my body trying to lie to him even. The truth
of course is it's about confrontation. Or non-
confrontation to be precise. [more...]
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| 6 Oct 04 | Clothed in self esteem | (6 Oct 04, 9:16 PM by alexandraa) |
| Just watched a most ridiculous programme "What not to
wear". Someone should have a word with the
presenters - Suzannah and Trinny (darhlinkkkkkssssss
mwah mwah)(What sort of a name is Trinny?) and tell
them slapping on red blusher with bright pink jumpers
isnt a good idea. What occured to me (apart from the
fact that I'd like to beat them hard) (and not in an
erotic way I add hastily) in their silly bimbo barbie
ways they were actually trying to help people with
their self esteems. [more...]
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| 5 Oct 04 | Label me up baby.............. Edited | (5 Oct 04, 7:46 PM by alexandraa) |
| Ok I've blogged on this before, was the one called
subs and slaves if anyone is interested enough to
scroll back and look. But now? Hey I'm a woman and so
I change my mind with my knickers...... what knickers?
I hear you shout... ahhh good point however.... for
the record and the general IC populations'
understanding of what I am and where my headspace is,
I choose the following labels for my particular pigeon
hole...... [more...]
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| 4 Oct 04 | Freedom | (4 Oct 04, 7:19 PM by alexandraa) |
| There are many forms of freedom and many forms of
suppression. Forms of control, restraint,
manipulation. Forms of liberty, autonomy and choice.
Some of these seeming opposites go hand in hand in the
most positive of fashions. I have experienced both
deep control and now a looser form. In both, I have
found forms of freedom. In both types of relationship
I have been happy and loved, cared for and protected
much down to the man concerned. Real freedom, the
ability to feel free of the search for others'
approval, I have found lies within. An evil man
I know showed me just where [more...]
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| 3 Oct 04 | Submission & Gifts | (3 Oct 04, 10:09 AM by alexandraa) |
| Yes yes yes!!!!!! I think I should be given lots and
lots of gifts before I submit.... oh that isnt what
you mean? You know - like kangaroo floggers..... [more...]
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| 1 Oct 04 | fluffy... sweetly submissive... | (1 Oct 04, 6:54 PM by alexandraa) |
| Yes suddenly I'm not so carnal, not so full of violent
sharp toothed passions... suddenly replete and happy
and all fluffy bunny moment. Cute cuddly and soft and
submissive as...... [more...]
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| 30 Sep 04 | Animal............. | (30 Sep 04, 9:11 PM by alexandraa) |
| Passion like I've never known. Places I've never been
taken. I hear his voice in my ear. My mind focuses
completely. All else fades away. At that point I am
his. No question. No room for anything. No room for
anyone. Lost in his world. A blind ship he steers.
He can take me anywhere. He will take me anywhere.
His choice. [more...]
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| 29 Sep 04 | Monogamy, BDSM & Swinging | (29 Sep 04, 8:48 PM by alexandraa) |
| Like herding cats I cant quite pin my thoughts down on
this one. Its a matter of personal integrity is all.
Whatever you feel comfortable with. Beware social
morals laid down by our society. You will easily find
a society elsewhere with different moral beliefs.
Make your own mind up, dont be led by the nose by your
peers. No rights and wrongs just what works for you
and your partner/s and their partner/s. Sometimes
knowing about your partner's activities isn't
necessary, just harmful and vice versa. There are
some truths that never need see the light of day. [more...]
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| 27 Sep 04 | Something I promised my Dad | (27 Sep 04, 9:25 PM by alexandraa) |
| Had a complete and utter lazy day today and was
great. Am refusing to think about work and just
realised why no one rang with the usual 97 urgent
things that need my attention that dont need my
attention at all - my battery ran down on my works
mobile and it has switched itself off hahahah. Will
leave it turned off now till tomorrow and remain in a
state of blissful ignorance until 7am. All in all
I've had a simply great day. Great three days come to
that. Great month actually. [more...]
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