 |
| Royster |
Sort by last reply . Royster's profile . Royster's homepage
| 9 Feb 12 | A site for sore eye's (7) | (10 Feb 12, 4:23 PM by Royster) |
| Conjunctivitis.com | ||
| 7 Feb 12 | Back to full fitness! (9) | (8 Feb 12, 11:03 PM by frida_TCandAS) |
| At last I have been given the OK to go back to work full fitness approved and so now wages coming back in at last. | ||
| 5 Feb 12 | Bacon (1) | (5 Feb 12, 11:24 PM by shocking_pink) |
| A farmer had five female pigs. Times were hard, so he decided to take them to the county fair and sell them. At the fair, he met another farmer who owned five male pigs. [more...] | ||
| 3 Feb 12 | Girls Night Out (1) | (3 Feb 12, 7:17 PM by frankster) |
| Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out, and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails. Incredibly drunk and walking home they suddenly realized they both needed to pee. They were very near a graveyard and one of them suggested they do their business behind a headstone or something. The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. Her friend however was wearing an expensive underwear set and didn't want to ruin hers, but was lucky enough to salvage a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself [more...] | ||
| 3 Feb 12 | The Barman (3) | (3 Feb 12, 4:08 PM by CookieMonster) |
| A man walks into a bar one night. He goes up to the bar and asks for a beer. "Certainly, sir, that'll be 1 penny." "ONE PENNY!" exclaims the guy. The barman replies, "Yes." So the guy glances over at the menu, and he asks, "Could I have a nice juicy T-bone steak, with chips, peas, and a fried egg?" "Certainly, sir," replies the bartender, "but all that comes to real money." "How much money?" inquires the guy. "5 pence," he replies. "FIVE PENCE!" exclaims the guy. "Where's the guy who owns this place?" The barman replies, "Upstairs with my wife." The guy says, "What's he doing with your wife?" The [more...] | ||
| 2 Feb 12 | Holiday (2) | (2 Feb 12, 10:44 PM by Matt_Finish) |
| A travel agent looked up from his desk to see an older lady and an older gentleman peering in the shop window at the posters showing the glamorous destinations around the world. The agent had had a good week and the dejected couple looking in the window gave him a rare feeling of generosity. [more...] | ||
| 2 Feb 12 | School (1) | (2 Feb 12, 7:51 PM by smilesoffun) |
| One day the teacher decides to play an animal game. She holds up a picture of a giraffe and asks if anyone knows what it is. No one raises their hand. The teacher says, "See it's long neck? What animal has a long neck?" [more...] | ||
| 2 Feb 12 | Scouse Eggs (2) | (2 Feb 12, 10:19 PM by shocking_pink) |
| Two Scousers are riding along the M62 from Manchester to Liverpool on a motorbike. They break down and start hitching a lift. A friendly trucker stops to see if he can help and the scousers ask him for a lift. He tells them that he has no room in the wagon as he is carrying 20,000 bowling balls but will take a look at the bike for them. He tries everything he knows but is unable to repair it. Time is getting on now and he's late for his delivery so he tells the scousers he has to leave. The scousers put it to the driver that if they can manage to fit in the back with the 20,000 bowling balls, will [more...] | ||
| 2 Feb 12 | Dad? | (2 Feb 12, 6:47 PM by Royster) |
| A little girl walks in to the lounge one Sunday morning while her Dad is reading the paper. [more...] | ||
| 2 Feb 12 | Alien (1) | (2 Feb 12, 6:25 PM by CookieMonster) |
| A Russian Woman Kept an Alien in her fridge for over 2 years, then one day she decided to cook and eat it. [more...] | ||
| 1 Feb 12 | Vile Monster (2) | (1 Feb 12, 8:29 PM by stechford_sub) |
| There once was a medieval village that was being terrorized by a vile monster. The creature was called the Head of Sin because its awful head looked like a devil's face. Each night, the Head of Sin would slither down from the hills and devour one of the villagers. The terrified citizenry called a meeting, and decided to pool their money to hire the great hero Erik. [more...] | ||
| 31 Jan 12 | Quote! (3) | (1 Feb 12, 3:06 PM by barecheek) |
| A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory. | ||
| 25 Jan 12 | Jury Service? (23) | (27 Jan 12, 9:59 AM by Royster) |
| Hi All, just because I am so seriously bored I thought I would ask, has anyone else done Jury Service, I Have done it 3 separate times and wondered if I would ever be called again? | ||
| 20 Jan 12 | I Q (3) | (20 Jan 12, 4:33 PM by MisterBear) |
| A Woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. [more...] | ||
| 19 Jan 12 | Well Now (2) | (20 Jan 12, 9:24 AM by Royster) |
| Q. What's a mixed feeling? [more...] | ||
| 17 Jan 12 | Boss (4) | (17 Jan 12, 4:54 PM by Ama_Sidero) |
| I urgently needed a few days off work, but, I knew the Boss would not allow me to take leave. I thought that maybe if I acted 'Mad' then he would tell me to take a few days off. So I hung upside-down on the ceiling and made funny noises. My colleague asked me what I was doing. I told her that I was pretending to be a light bulb so that the Boss might think I was 'Mad' and give me a few days off. [more...] | ||
| 4 Jan 12 | Photo on the bedside cabinet. (3) | (7 Jan 12, 9:44 AM by geoff917) |
| After a long night of making love, the guy notices a photo of another man, on the woman's bedside cabinet. He begins to worry. 'Is this your husband?' he nervously asks. [more...] | ||
| 4 Jan 12 | Celebrating! | (4 Jan 12, 8:06 PM by Royster) |
| Did you hear about the guy who was in a bar as drunk as a skunk? [more...] | ||
| 3 Jan 12 | So far no good. (4) | (3 Jan 12, 10:27 PM by gastro_masochist) |
| Well 2012 has not got off to a good start for me (Yes selfish) I hear you cry.........at Doc's this morning she suspects something is not right with the knee op I had done.... so still off and no sign of returning to work yet. [more...] | ||
| 2 Jan 12 | Transplant (4) | (3 Jan 12, 6:54 PM by nickbareboundsub) |
| An elderly patient needed a heart transplant and discussed his options with his doctor. The doctor said, "We have three possible donors. The first donor is a young, healthy athlete who died in an car accident. The second donor is a middle-aged businessman who never drank or smoked and who died flying his private jet. And, the third donor is an solicitor who died after practicing law for 30 years. Which do you want?" [more...] | ||
