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| DillyTante |
At around four o'clock this morning, I had an opportunity to reacquaint myself, with my inner Old Battleaxe. I was snoring peacefully, when my dog let out a muffled and uncertain 'Ooph'. Well versed in dog speak, I can tell you that 'Ooph' translates as, 'I'm fairly certain I shouldn't be barking, but I can't help it. I heard something. Err. Maybe.'
After donning my pyjama jacket inside out, I stumbled to the door. On my doorstep was a young man, who with no apology for waking and getting me out of bed, enquired if 'Fisher' was here.
Neither awake nor best pleased, I frowned as I barked, 'What?' He repeated the question, to which I replied, 'No. Goodnight.' and began to shut my door when undeterred, he asked if I knew where 'Fisher' lived.
Unconsciously, I found myself quoting a classic line from some of the best old black and white movies. You know the ones, where our hero (usually a young James Stewart) is being a bit of a nuisance, in a larky, harmless sort of a way, in small town America somewhere. He's a little drunk - or in love. Or both. He's either singing or making a speech. Loudly.
Somewhere, a fright of an old grump opens a door or window and says:
'Do you know what time it is, young man?'
Well. I didn't actually say young man (Curses! Curses!), but I did say the rest of it. Authoratively.
The young man, peered at his watch and then with lots of sorry, sorry, sorries, backed away.
I snapped another grouchy goodnight, shut the door. And grinned a bit.
Contrast this assertive behaviour, with a couple of nights ago and a more usual scenario for me. Out for a pub meal with a friend, I went to order our food.
I wanted chips with my meal. The nice, friendly, but unexpectedly forceful barmaid, strongly advised against it. She offered her opinion with such convicion, that I returned to my table perplexed that somehow, I'd not ordered the chips I wanted.
My friend thought this amusing and tried to nudge me into correcting the situation. I demurred. When our order arrived, the friend, twinkling away like a pup of Beelzebub, informed on me. THE RAT! The barmaid was told, that I'd really wanted chips with my meal.
Defensive, the barmaid offered her opinion again about the size of the meal and the lack of neccesity for further carbohydrate and fat, to accompany it. Clearly bothered by The Rat's comment, when she subsequently cleared our plates away, she gave another nervous little speech, expanding on her position.
At a tangent, this means that I now also know, that she's a vegetarian, which may possibly be useful information for the future. You never know, do you?
I saw her the next morning and the poor woman was still justifying herself! I will wreak sly revenge upon The Rat at an unexpected point, but I digress.
In light of the first anecdote, it's clear that I've a capacity to be an Intimidating Old Battleaxe. Which is nice, but mildly irritating as I don't seem to manifest that side of myself, these days. Or at least, not when awake, it seems.
I used to be an Intimidating Old Battleaxe, long before I was of sufficient vintage to earn the title. Having spent the first half of my life however, engaged in verbal combat with far too many, in recent decades I've become more peaceable. So peaceable in fact, that mostly, I can't be bothered to argue these days - unless it's for fun. In debate or for a jest.
I'm inclined to give way, because most of the time, it doesn't seem that important. Make no mistake though, when something is important, gently, politely and tactfully, I will negotiate. And negotiate. And negotiate.
This does have a bearing on the issue of dominance, submission and me. Aha! You see! There was a point to all this - apart from the obvious, of course; that I'm banging on here, because I've not been able to sleep, since my nocturnal visitor!
Back to the thing.
Outside of the sexual arena, my behaviour (the product of a peculiar mix of indolence, indecision and courtesy), can create an impression of a submissive personality. A false one.
Paradoxically, twenty or more years ago, when I was all attitude and vinegar, I know that I would have adjusted to a 'conventional' D/s relationship, quite easily. I would have loved someone to tell me what to do. I've probably missed my own personal boat, in this respect.
These days, while I present an amiable, vague and fuzzy front, I'm probably tougher than my wellingtons - and reflexively strategic in my dealings with nearly everyone.
I'm no domme in the making. Nor am I a 'feisty sub'. I'm not in the least bit feisty. I'm an obliging sort - right up to the point, that I'm not.
As I see it, the problem with turning an adjective (eg. submissive or dominant) into a noun, is that it creates a need to define that noun.
In KinkWorld, those who've tackled the job so far, certainly don't define me very well. I manifest submissive behaviours certainly, but am I A Submissive? Not according to the stereotype, I read and hear about.
Again outside of the sexual arena, what makes 'a' submissive or 'a' dominant, anyway? The behaviour? Or the motivation behind it?
I don't mind what the answer is, really. By its very nature, I don't think there can be a definitive, objective answer, anyway. Just subjective opinions.
Incidentally, this isn't so much navel gazing angst, as much as a bit of early morning rumination, while I wait for enough light, to walk my dog.
Oh, and while I think of it, if you see 'Fisher', can you tell him that a bewildered young man with red hair and a flea in his ear, is looking for him. Thank you.
| 13 Aug 06, 9:04 AM MarcusStrapp UK(CB), 7 yrs |
Ahh you've got a fine hound there madam. We had an Irish Setter (anyone who knows anything about setters already knows this is not a tale of his fineness or fitness for anything useful). I came home one night to find an intruder furkling about in my bedroom. I was 16. I was terrified. I think the matter was resolved when my mother made the drunken sod a cup of tea and then politely asked him to leave. Mum resolved every crisis with a cup of tea. Rusty (original name for a Red Setter don't you think?), slept right through...until the police finally arrived. He barked at the police and eventually licked them to death. By the way, is Fisher there? (You are now obliged to ask me if I know the time and, oh yes here's the good bit, and call me "young man") Conventional wisdom is often more about convention than wisdom. | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 9:16 AM bohemian 8 yrs |
Ummmmm so I take it your still not prepared to the dusting for me?? Oh bugger...... xxxxxxx All along the ancient wastes the thin reflections spin, That gather all the times and tides at once we love within... | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 10:33 AM DewiCinci UK, 9 yrs  |
Given that every fast food worker in the world is now trained to say 'Do you want fries with that?' to try to sell more chips, I think that your discovery of a pub where they try to stop you having chips with your meal could be the unearthing of a parallel universe that is keeping the chip and fry balance stable. The good news is that if we all go round and destroy your local pub, the cosmic chip imbalance might bring an end to McDonalds. Who's with me? Dewi "Gwnewch y pethau bychain" (St David - attrib) | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 10:43 AM PFLsAgain UK, 7 yrs |
Cue RAT... cue RAT... RAT, you're on! (Muffled squeaking from somewhere off stage-left followed hurried scrabblings stage-wise.) "EEEK!"
The rat is gratified to find she's both capitalised and emboldened The whole thing was like a bizarre inverted McDonalds scenario "You don't want chips with that"... The chips looked very tasty BTW!
"I learned what every dreaming child needs to know - no horizon is so far that you cannot see above or beyond it." ~ Beryl Markham (first pilot to cross the Atlantic solo the hard way - East to West) Edited 13 Aug 06, 11:09 AM by PFLsAgain | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 11:00 AM bohemian 8 yrs |
*Snigger* This should be good....shall I send out for popcorn now or wait until later? All along the ancient wastes the thin reflections spin, That gather all the times and tides at once we love within... Edited 13 Aug 06, 11:02 AM by bohemian | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 11:10 AM playzone UK, 5 yrs |
Good of your dog to alert you so politely to the fact that there was a person on your doorstep, my old one would have let rip every now and then until he had gone away. Question of the day, who is Fisher??? Da mihi castitatem et incorruptus, sed noli modo | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 11:16 AM Prunesquallor UK(RG), 7 yrs |
The barmaid had clearly been watching the complete DVD collection of 'Fawlty Towers'. --------------------------------------------------- ------- | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 12:18 PM DillyTante UK, 7 yrs |
Mr. Strapp. If you were to land on my doorstep at four o'clock in the morning - if you should then go on, to make that enquiry - then of course, I might consider that response.
Among some (pithy) others.
Dilly | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 12:18 PM DillyTante UK, 7 yrs |
I tell you what bohemian, you do mine and I'll do yours. I'm confident that I'll have the better end of the deal. Dilly | ||
| 13 Aug 06, 12:18 PM DillyTante UK, 7 yrs |
You leave my parallel universe alone, Dewi! Chip deprivation notwithstanding, it's much nicer than the alternative. Besides your fiendish plot is doomed to failure. Hardly anyone can find ToyTown, due to it's location, slap bang at the end of the rainbow Dilly |
