Posted by daitchen on Tue 1 Aug 06, 2:21 PM to daitchen's blog.
One of the workshops that I most appreciated at this year's Kinkfest was Laurence's interesting talk on the psychology of D/s.
I imagine this is not an easy subject to cover in just over an hour. Perhaps it would have been better not to have relied so heavily on the brainstorming method, which had the advantage of getting the audience involved, but meant that the structure of the talk became quite loose and inconclusive.
He elicited a list of terms from the audience connected with BDSM that are normally negative in connotation - "hurt", "humiliate", "slave", and so on. He pointed out that the fact that we are able to relate to such words (and the things they denote) in a positive way (generally speaking) means that we have broken our social conditioning. This seemed very significant to me, and I wish he had been able to explore its implications a bit further.
Another topic that he brought up that I found very interesting was power exchange. A thought-provoking dialogue was opened up, but there just wasn't enough time or focus to be able to go into it more deeply. (For example, the differences between power exchange and power transfer)
I was glad that the point was made that a Dominant needs to be in control of him/herself first and foremost before they can think of controlling their sub.
Many other good points were just touched on, and I had the feeling that I was on the verge of getting a clearer understanding of things several times, only for it to slip away again as the point wasn't really followed up. I am sure that there was a lot more that Laurence could have simply told us - from his long bdsm experience and professional psychology background.
Fascinating but also slightly frustrating! I hope there will be more talks about D/s at the next Kinkfest and at other events in future.
Edited Tue 1 Aug 06, 2:37 PM by daitchen
| 1 Aug 06, 3:00 PM popi  UK(M), 7 yrs   |
I agree totally with this blog, we want more Lawrence  popi xxx Edited because this blonde can't spell | |||
| 1 Aug 06, 4:14 PM Sweetiejar UK(S), 11 yrs |
Perhaps a proper seminar could be organised???? Sweetiejar | |||
| 1 Aug 06, 4:17 PM x_flaire_x UK(OX), 10 yrs |
A very thought provoking lecture that gave both Altheus and I a lot to talk about.
I agree, wish it had gone on longer as I feel the defrosting the fridge section was rather rushed f x Stand before your god, bow before your king and kneel before your man - Nanny Ogg, Lords and Ladies | |||
| 1 Aug 06, 5:14 PM adixxtion UK, 7 yrs |
I don't know if you go to the BBB, but Laurence has been known to give the odd chat/demo there. Well worth attending scarlet XX
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| 1 Aug 06, 5:33 PM RavenMuse 5 yrs |
When they where asking for suggestions for NEXT kinkfest, that is what I sent them. Very glad to see I'm not alone in that thinking | |||
| 1 Aug 06, 7:26 PM TheFalconer UK(S), 6 yrs |
And also that the sub needs to be in control of themselves before they can give it up to a Dom/me, don't forget that! I did wonder about asking how this squared with Laurence's earlier point that there's an unusually high number of people suffering from depression/anxiety etc. who practise BDSM, but sadly there wasn't much time for questions. A great workshop though! | |||
| 1 Aug 06, 7:44 PM daitchen UK(SE), 9 yrs |
Yes, thanks for reminding me! I think subs need to maintain a very high level of self-control sometimes, so it's not simply a matter of giving up all control to the Dom/me. A fairly obvious example would be overcoming the instinct to recoil when being subjected to pain. An informed discussion of levels and kinds of control would be very useful, wouldn't it?
Always leave 'em wanting more, eh?! "What alters the imagination alters everything" (Ted Hughes) Edited 1 Aug 06, 7:46 PM by daitchen | |||
| 1 Aug 06, 8:19 PM daitchen UK(SE), 9 yrs |
Equally, I wonder how Laurence's point about Doms and subs needing to have a high degree of mutual empathy could possibly square up with the notion of many of us being unusually depressive and anxious? "What alters the imagination alters everything" (Ted Hughes) Edited 1 Aug 06, 8:20 PM by daitchen | |||
| 1 Aug 06, 11:08 PM TheFalconer UK(S), 6 yrs |
What this really made me think of was some of the subs I've "met" online who've been looking for a man to come sort out the mess they've made of their lives. Usually they frame it as saying they want you to "transform them completely", or similar.
Absolutely. I think I would happily of sat in that workshop all day. I've never seen anything like that for nailing D/s so exactly - every other workshop I've been to at KF and elsewhere has tended to be more about which end of a flogger to hold | |||
| 2 Aug 06, 11:00 AM shimmer UK(LE), 11 yrs |
I hope there are too as I'm disappointed that I missed this one. |
