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| MarcusStrapp |
Sometimes totally random memories from my distant past just spring to the fore. There seems no apparent reason or triggering incident. A thought just floats up like that single errant balloon that got away from a toddlers grasp.
"TYE 830M" I do not know why I should remember that, let alone why it should keep popping into my consciousness. It was the registration plate of my best mates, brother-in-law's Telcom van. That was in the days when they were painted all custard yellow with the blue logo. Perhaps it is some sort of system self check. So long as I can remember that number plate, we've passed memory self test.
Anyway that was not this morning's random memory. This morning's random memory went >>>JOLT<<<. I was thrown back to the the age of 11 when I went camping with the school. We were camped in a field about a mile away from a farm. I was sharing a tent (one of those crap green single skinned ones without a sewn in ground-sheet) with David Green and someone else who I now forget (oh dear panic, quick run self test "TYE 830M") David was a good boy but unfortunately was one tent peg short of the set. So when the ultra have-a-crush-on-able Miss Hatfield told David and me to fill the empty 5 gallon water can at the farm, he had no immediate objection to my suggestion that I carry it there and he carry it back.
As we got near to the farm we came across a field with cows. This field was fenced off with a funny orange string which we soon discovered to be an electric fence. Hmmm. "I dare you". Well I think when you are 11 you sort of have to. It might be the law. So he did. He brushed his hand quickly against the wire and... much to my disappointment, nothing. "Oh. perhaps it is not on then." So good boy David did it again, this time more deliberately. Grabs hold of the wire and immediately lets go. Hmm. Oh well, guess it is off or bust. So I have a go. Nothing. So I have another go.
>>> FUCK OFF BIG WANGY JOLT <<<
It shoots straight up my arm. It feels like a full five gallon water can was attached by a rope to my arm and the can got lobbed off a cliff.
Well that memory prompted me to do a bit of poking around on the internet and did you know that the average cattle fence operates at around 6,000 volts? To quote one supplier "Remember that animals will learn not to touch a wire with 6,000 volts running through it." And you know, I bet subs could learn a lot from it too.
So I am now contemplating a rather nasty piece of predicament torture. 
-- Marcus Strapp
Edited Wed 12 Jul 06, 12:13 AM by MarcusStrapp
| 12 Jul 06, 12:07 AM mini_velvet UK(EH), 6 yrs |
I missread that as FUCK OFF BIG WANKY BLOKE  Ive crossed the line from mad to sane 1000 times and back again. | ||
| 12 Jul 06, 4:17 AM augusta UK, 8 yrs |
camping in green single skinned tent without a sewn in ground-sheet? (and yes, it is 4.15am. and no i can't sleep)
whatdoesthatlongrectangularkeyatthebottomofthekeybo arddo? | ||
| 12 Jul 06, 6:30 AM MarcusStrapp UK(CB), 7 yrs |
Ever so sligtly taken aback. I'm not that cruel.
Conventional wisdom is often more about convention than wisdom. | ||
| 12 Jul 06, 8:06 AM Korriagan UK, 6 yrs  |
Well that memory prompted me to do a bit of poking around on the internet and did you know that the average cattle fence operates at around 6,000 volts? To quote one supplier "Remember that animals will learn not to touch a wire with 6,000 volts running through it." And you know, I bet subs could learn a lot from it too.
So I am now contemplating a rather nasty piece of predicament torture. -- Marcus Strapp [/quote] I have similar fence to keep goats out of/and off the road..It was only on for 2 weeks..switched off now and those canny goats dont go anywhere near that white tape..who said goats were thick..[I do know what a belt they give too..ouches !!!] If you want to dance with the Devil, better make sure you know the steps... | ||
| 12 Jul 06, 8:13 AM SempaiX UK(OL), 7 yrs |
Haven't checked them out on the internet, but the units and wire are available in any French rural DIY store (Mr. Bricolage, Bricomarche etc). Get the right one, and it makes an ominous clicking noise every few seconds. The pet shops have nice cruel things too. Have a day trip and there should be time to browse the remote control electric shock collars as well. France is great for wine and high voltage pervery. | ||
| 12 Jul 06, 10:26 AM Insistor UK(PL), 7 yrs |
Countryside tips: Bend the arm, then the jolt only whacks you on the elbow. Don't try straddling one or pissing on one. Did you know a congealed cow pat can be quite painful when flung at a naked buttock. | ||
| 12 Jul 06, 1:45 PM redcat 9 yrs |
once managed to back up on to one whilst in the process of squatting down to pee in a field.... it was quite an impressive leap for a girl with her pants half down! redcat The rule is, jam tomorrow and jam yesterday - but never jam today. | ||
| 12 Jul 06, 4:47 PM lucky_1 7 yrs |
Oh the pictures than conjours! I once got belted by one on a golf course in Scotland. The fences were there to keep the sheep off the greens and I was half over the damned thing i.e. straddling it when I got zapped. I'm sure I would have got 9.9 for the dismount.
I think I need one round the fridge
The more that pleasure turns into pain, the more inclined I am to stand and take it. Texas 2005 |
