Posted by humanchimp
on Tue 11 Jul 06, 5:30 PM to humanchimp's blog.
Now I have never cared if a person is over weight, eat as many chips as you like, inject lard into your veins... I really donŽt give two shits.
But when you think that being fat makes you strong and powerful it does not mean that you can get away withy being a bully.
Okay, this is how the story goes. I hope youŽre comfy and drinking your ovaltine.
Me and some friends had gone to look at a house, we then recided to a local bar to discuss whether we would take the house or not.
We liked the house very much but...
We left the bar and some fat fuck walked up and stole a cigarette from behind my friends ear and then slapped him around the back of the head because obviously eating too many pies makes you a warrior who is not to be messed with.
There were two of these pie eating twats together who I will name pie eater 1 and pie eater 2 (PE1 and PE2) for short.
Anyhow my friend asked if he could have his cigarette back where PE1 said "FucK off or IŽll knock your fucking head in".
This did not bode well for my friend who is a fitness instructor and also a teacher of kickboxing, kung fu and muay tai (which means he has a black belt in all of them).
So he said "that if you would like to knock the fuck out of me I almost treble dare you to take the first punch".
So this lard ass piece of shit did not of have the tetsicular fortitude to take him on and instead turned to me (who was trying to calm things down) abd said "DonŽt get involved you little shit or IŽll hammer you".
Naturally I did what he said and walked away...
BWHAHAHAHA!
You think I did tha?
Nope, I passed my jacket to my lady (who is on IC if you need confirmation) and was about to twat PE1 when I saw PE2 go all heroic and try and hit my friend in the back.
So I turned and chased him and he begged off and promised not to get involved as long as I didnŽt hit him.
Which left my friend screaming at this fat tub of shit going
"I dare you to fucking hit me!"
And this fat fucker, with his big fat mouth, and his big fat arms who thinks think that he can do what he wants met his fucking match.
And i applaud my friend for not punching him when the police came, instead he scared him into the corner where they arrested him for being drunk and disordely.
So the moral of the story is that if youŽre fat do not pretend that your tough because when it comes down to it youŽre just fucking weebles with extensions and if you fuck with some one smaller and fitter you will get hurt.
Fat means nothing... You donŽt agree then fuck off.
| 11 Jul 06, 5:42 PM LaRouge UK(L), 7 yrs  |
I know a fair few 'thin' twats just like this... | |
| 11 Jul 06, 5:47 PM MarkVarley  UK(PE), 7 yrs |
some people are just too mouthy for their own good, champion pie eater or not, there are some people out there who are only alive because it is illegal to kill them.
-- | |
| 11 Jul 06, 5:51 PM x_Raven_x UK(CR), 6 yrs |
Twats by all means but they do come in different sizes you know and unfortunately far too many of them and what's worse is they come not only in different sizes but different sexes too.
Pervs of the leather flog together | |
| 11 Jul 06, 6:16 PM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs |
Ten or so years ago me and few few of the girls decided to take up karate so we joined a local class to study Wada Ryu. Our instructor left abruptly a month or so later, ran off with a bar maid. So we recieved news we would be getting a new instructor. We stood in the car park watching people pass through, would it be him, would it be her? Then we spied this guy, not very tall, flat cap, fairly big belly on him riding a push bike... Jokingly I said 'it's him', oh how we giggled... It was him! A few months later I managed to sit him on his arse in a sparring session, purely by accident may I add, I dropped to my knees and refused to get up, he may have been short and fat but hell he could move fast and pack a punch lol. J Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. | |
| 11 Jul 06, 6:58 PM Frivolity EC, 9 yrs |
That description of a nasty person is quote of the week for me :D | |
| 11 Jul 06, 8:30 PM humanchimp 7 yrs |
Ahh thanks dude... and for the others I know twats come in all shapes and sizes, it was just that these guys were faty and trying to push people around because of it. I still want my rock stars dead | |
| 11 Jul 06, 8:46 PM Katheryn UK(SG), 11 yrs |
A girl at work had a similar experience - she's 5'3", about 9 1/2 stone, and looks harmless enough.....
She also teaches martial arts, is a football coach and a fitness instructor ....... she's a handy girl to have about on a night out Never wrestle with pigs. You both get filthy, but the pig loves it. Edited 11 Jul 06, 8:47 PM by Katheryn | |
| 11 Jul 06, 8:56 PM MarkVarley UK(PE), 7 yrs |
reminds me of an important lesson i once learned.. never underestimate anyone. I was 16 and was my first night at chinese boxing, i was paired with a skinny kid aged about 11 and wasn't taking him seriously, a kick to the stomach seriously winded me, there was all 6'3" of me on the floor hardly able to breath like a useless sack of sh1te. lesson learned. -- | |
| 11 Jul 06, 9:06 PM Ariane 8 yrs |
<puts shortbread biscuit back> You're moving Chimpy?
Good for you for scaring the twats. "I've learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel." ~ Maya Angelou | |
| 11 Jul 06, 10:03 PM Fussylady 5 yrs |
lmao pie eating twats! |
