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| darkdollie |
I've had a lot of questions since i put my profile back in the advert section of IC about my profile, and about my fascination with fear, etc. Each time i go to write a reply, then get stuck....
I love to be scared but don't ask me why or how far i want it to go. If it was up to me i'd push it as far as it could go but you have to trust people so much and then the fear sort of dies.
In life i'm a scared person yet as far as play goes i'm much harder to scare and here lies the problem with fear play.
Electrics can still terrify me and that is something i will never willingly ask for but as its now been removed from a hard limit, when it's played with the experiance is so much more intense. How long before than fades i wonder?
Knives i love, have a fetish for in fact, and when i know they are sharp and against me ready to cut the fear is exciting. Once i know the blade is blunt or the wrong way round it loses its appeal.
When i fight i know i can be hurt badly and it can be scary when defenseless but then with someone you totally trust completely it's just a laugh unless it's taken further than comfortable with.
I want the fear it's just hard to come by but i'm sure i'll enjoy learning just how far i can push it, eventually.
The thing is i shy away from my phobia, needles, and even though i've had offers to help me overcome this i've never really taken any of them up on it yet i know if done properly, i could turn that phobia into a fear and use it until that also loses its scare factor. How long.......again nobody can know. Also i'm claustrphobic so one of my few hard limits involves no boxes/closets/etc but i wonder if i love fear so much how can i not want this fear. Hmmmmm......
Now i know this has answered none of the questions i've been asked, it's just more confused ramblings about nothing anybody else would be interested in *smiles*
