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IC : Weblogs : Calic : "Relationships"
Relationships (4)
Calic's profile
Posted by Calic on Wed 31 May 06, 12:46 AM
There is one thing that pervades all.
In recent years I have become increasingly aware of the importance of relationships. Not just the kind we have with family, friends and lovers - but relationships of all kinds and between all things. In fact, all of existence (yep the WHOLE dang universe!) depends on relationships. This is something that physicists only started to understand during the 20th century. Before that, the western paradigm of science was embedded in the reductionist ideas of Newton and Descartes (essentially a model of the universe as a giant clockwork mechanism). We now understand that the fabric of reality is far more interwoven and interconnected than that. Relationships are central to existence.
My mind was first opened to this stuff, many years ago by a guy called Gary Zukav who wrote an amazing book called “The Dancing Wu Li Masters”. Basically, Gary explains how the ancient Chinese philosophers had, through their powers of reasoning, gained insight into the innermost (sub-atomic) workings of the universe which 20th Century science was only now beginning to confirm as correct (although not yet started to understand!).
Just pause here and think about that. It's awesome. Gunpowder and Chicken Chow Mein pale into insignificance alongside it.
The basic need for interdependence. The enormity and all-pervading force of this idea has increasingly been on my mind in the last few years, and yet I still I have so little insight, that I cannot start to think what to do with it.
 A couple of weeks ago I was introducing a sushi virgin (interestingly, a delightful girl I met through IC) to the pleasures of eating raw fish when I noticed a kanji painting on the restaurant wall behind me. It looked like this (you can click on the thumbnail to see it full size):
Which apparently says: “Ichi o motte kore o tsuranuku” and which translates as: “There is one thing that pervades all”
Further investigation revealed that the kanji was painted by Zen Master Hozumi Gensho, and is based on the analects of Confucius:
| Life in the world is based on relationships, master and disciple, parent and child, husband and wife, that rely on the concept of duality |
Duality.
All of which makes total sense to me. There can be no day without night. No Dom without sub.
This duality concept seems to extend not just to the physical universe but also to our inner thoughts and feelings. In August 03 I blogged about the two dogs we each have inside us. http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/weblogs/Calic/1.... This is another example of duality: the one which is fed, is the one which dominates.
This all-pervading importance of duality also explains my aching. My empty-incompleteness. My hunger. My longing. I cannot turn off my need to be Dominant in a relationship, but equally I have learned that I cannot turn it on. Even if (in fact, especially if) you love me and I love you, I cannot be Dominant if you are not submissive towards me - no matter how much we might desire it to be different. Conversely, if you are submissive towards me, I can easily find myself being drawn into a relationship for which the time may not be right. The pull of duality, the need to resolve the imbalance: a paradox.
No matter how certain we feel about a decision to do (or not do) something, there is always an element of risk of being wrong. Things don't always turn out the way we plan them. Sometimes we shrug this off, sometimes it cuts deep and it hurts.
It was Lord Rutherford, I think, who once said “The only thing that still amazes me is the extent of my own ignorance”. Such insight. Here I am, after all these years still learning things I never knew about myself. Isn't life an amazing journey? Experience can be a great teacher if our minds and hearts are open.
And that is what is positive about things not turning out the way you want or expect them to. We can learn about ourselves, and about our relationships with others. Viewed this way, all of my experience is leading me in the right direction, to the right person. Maybe we already know each other. Or perhaps we have not yet met. Possibly she does not yet recognise or fully acknowledge the submissive that is locked away in her soul, waiting to be set free in bondage to the right Dom.
But who could that be? How would she know?
Sometimes the diamond we are seeking is right under our noses, but we don't recognise it because raw diamonds don't look like ones that have been cut and polished. So how can we know how relationships might develop?
The Japanese also have a saying “When the pupil is ready the Master will appear”.
All I need is more time and more patience.
Be safe 
Calic
Replies
31 May 06, 9:04 AM
Joolsy
6 yrs
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Blimey you've had your Shredded Wheat this morning haven't you P? 
Seriously though, very interesting and thought provoking blog, thank you! Last one dead's a sissy.
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31 May 06, 12:23 PM
bohemian
5 yrs |
Joolsy wrote:
Blimey you've had your Shredded Wheat this morning haven't you P?
Seriously though, very interesting and thought provoking blog, thank you!
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I'd second what Joolsy's said - it's a lovely thought provoking blog - and written by a Dommly type too, who'd have thought it huh?  All along the ancient wastes the thin reflections spin,
That gather all the times and tides at once we love within...
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31 May 06, 8:25 PM
misheru
6 yrs |
Somewhere there waiteth in this world of ours For one lone soul another lonely soul, Each choosing each through all the weary hours, And meeting strangely at one sudden goal, Then blend they, like green leaves with golden flowers, Into one beautiful and perfect whole; And life's long night is ended, and the way Lies open onward to eternal day.
Edwin Arnold
Relationships are like Rome. Difficult to start out, incredible during the prosperity of the 'Golden Age', and unbearable during the fall. Then, a new kingdom will come along and the whole process will repeat itself until you come across a kingdom like Egypt.. that thrives, and continues to flourish. This kingdom will become your best friend, your soulmate, and your love.
Helen Adams Keller
Love and relationships are truly one of the most paradoxical aspects of being human. For it is in love that we find the greatest of strengths and the deepest of sorrows. Love can seem to be so fleeting and unachievable yet it remains well within our reach if we only learn how to embrace it's power. To experience true love, we must be willing to open ourselves up and sacrifice part of our heart and part of our soul. We must be willing to give of ourselves freely, and we must be willing to suffer. It is only when we expose our inner selves to the white hot flame of rejection, that love can burn so brightly as to join to souls, melding the two into one, creating a bond that joins forever. It is from this bond that we draw strength eternal and power ever lasting. It is in this thing that we call love that we find the means to achieve greatness, both in ourselves and in our lives.
a few quotes i found that maybe adress your latter points ...and finally.....
We are not the same persons this year as last; nor are those we love. It is a happy chance if we, changing, continue to love a changed person.
William Somerset Maugham
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16 Jun 06, 1:10 AM
suzee
6 yrs |
I have no quotes at this time of night - nor do I have words of wisdom. All I have in my soul is the belief that when the time is right, and the colours are in phase, then it will happen.......
I have to believe that.
In the mean time I play If you know it in your heart, and feel it in your soul, then it is but a matter of time before you live it ..........
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