This post is on the Other BDSM web board.
| 20 May 06, 10:45 AM SisterMidnight 7 yrs |
Dear Ice Queen, nothing you say here about me is true. The language you use - torment, mercilessly harrassed etc - you twist to your own purposes. You continue to attack and falsely attribute. I suggest you re-read the rules to IC and move on to another debate. And I quote directly from the rules just so we are clear: 'However, you may not use IC to make verbal attacks on other named members, and falsely attributing statements or actions to other members, especially when presented as direct quotations, is totally unacceptable'
Edited 20 May 06, 10:58 AM by SisterMidnight | |||
| 20 May 06, 11:54 AM foxxx UK(HP), 9 yrs  |
Having fun beccalove? Ice Queen is entitled to her own opinion and to disagree with yours. Waving the rulebook doesn't make you right or her wrong. Bullying does take many forms and one of the best ways to deal with the online kind is to unhook from irrational debate. Mea culpa for taking the bait here. Not everyone with an identifiable issue is a "nice person" by default, and being disliked is not the same as being bullied. Ice Queen has her own supporters and admirers, not all of them -us!- choose to argue the toss about our opinions online
"Intimidation" can also take the form of screaming blue murder every time it is possible to construe insult or criticism. Silence does not always signify agreement, and victims are not always the ones shouting the odds. beccalove hurt ME by taking my attempts to clarify some issues as attacks on her: I am neither claiming bully nor victim status, I moved on. ~ beneath it all, desire for oblivion runs ~ | |||
| 20 May 06, 12:21 PM Smartarse UK(CM), 7 yrs  |
Have you? | |||
| 20 May 06, 1:45 PM MsTalons UK, 6 yrs |
You claim this is not true but you have never contacted your victim to find out the true effect that your abuse has had on her. I would like to know why you think this is untrue when you do not know how upset she was when you harrassed her. You claim this post is an attack on you but I am merely informing you of the results of your bullying.
Simply pointing out your recent actions (which happen to be objectionable) is not a verbal attack. | |||
| 20 May 06, 1:53 PM doulos UK(SW), 7 yrs |
So... I'll be seeing you both at the U35 munch later? You never know, face to face can sometimes remove previous online antagonisms. But try not to tear up the bar, we've only just moved there! SPANK those who say BDSM is KINKY! | |||
| 20 May 06, 2:07 PM Pendaran 7 yrs |
I have not read the whole thread as bullying is something that winds me up, but I had to reply. If indeed they were bullied themselves, then even more shame on the fuckers because they obviously know how "their" victim is feeling! To admit your afraid gives you strength. Edited 20 May 06, 2:08 PM by Pendaran | |||
| 20 May 06, 3:23 PM LisaLJ UK(DY), 6 yrs |
Has the "victim" contacted beccalove to inform her that the "abuse" has "upset" her through being "harrassed"? Because if, as you say, beccalove does not know how upset she is then why would she have reason to contact her? Also, if the "victim" was suffering "abuse" by being "harrassed" I would have thought she would be a little more than "upset". Anyway, it's interesting to see how different people seem to allow one set of rules for themselves and another for everyone else. Not saying this applies to you...just a general observation.
Edited to add that I'm going to throw a cake and wine party, so that everyone on IC can get along with each other. It will have to be at someone elses abode though, as my cat tends not to get along with anyone. The bloody footprints are testament to that. Still, he loves me....sometimes
Edited 20 May 06, 4:07 PM by LisaLJ | |||
| 20 May 06, 7:30 PM ianpenfold 6 yrs |
Personally I thought the best way to deal with a bully was to completely ignore them. Just antagonising them further will simply confirm to them that thier behaviour is being recognised. Also; doing this in an attempt to defend someone on thier behalf just gives the bully more ammunition to use against thier victim, and indeed also makes the victim less able to defend themselves (I know this from experience). Surely the best option is to either give the victim space to defend themselves or advise or teach the victim how to either defend themselves or deal with the situation in a more civilised manner. In adult life, I have learnt now how to recognise a possible threat and thus avoid it. I will also attempt to reason with the perpetrator to find out why, and indeed I am still learning about the different 'why's'. Generally, If the perpetrator is alone I will reason with them but if there is a small group I will avoid the situation because I am well aware how easy it is to use misdirection and deflection in a discussion or situation where there are more than Two people involved. There's a bit of truth in every bit of fiction | |||
| 21 May 06, 12:09 AM SisterMidnight 7 yrs |
For Ice Queen, Foxx, etc:
If you want to talk about issues involved in the dynamics of bullying seriously (and/or the issues on transgendered and transsexual identity which preceeded all this)- then wonderful, let's do that, as most people on this thread have.
Everyone is entitled to disagree with everyone - something I have said countless times. But a discussion based around personalities instead of issues is neither helpful, interesting, or does anything to further the community. That is the difference. And that is the reason why there is a rule book. I for one won't be coming back to read this thread - so thank you all to those who added some really interesting issues here, and hope to discuss those and other ideas again in the future. For those who want to continue discussing me, hope you enjoy yourselves too. But I won't be replying. Quote: 'Having fun beccalove? Ice Queen is entitled to her own opinion and to disagree with yours.' Edited 21 May 06, 12:12 AM by SisterMidnight | |||
| 21 May 06, 1:47 AM gimpneil UK(DN), 7 yrs |
I have never understood the idea of bullying and what drives people to it. In fact the older the bully the thicker I think he/she is. After all you may end up driving your victum to the point of volence or worse as they simply dont care what happends to them any more and the victum becomes very short sighted in terms of what could happen to them.
Theres not a year that goes by where you dont hear about some bully who was assualted or even killed by there victum. Its a dangerous game they play. And I do think to them it is a game. |
