 |
| immoral |
on Thu 4 May 06, 5:03 PM to immoral's blog.
as per usual today finds me in my usual state of being in two minds.
and also entirely sick and tired of thinking,and listening to my own internal dialogue
im in a state of *knowing*
theres little point in thinking things through anymore as i know full well what the answers are and the thinking is now not a way forward its just a delaying tactic..... as is writing this blog
.....im waiting.... it seems. i have a lull in the continuation of life and yet again im treading water...un stretched ....un challenged...unfulfilled and un~bloody( place everything here)...
the bottom line is that i have many many things i need to do infact rather important things and im finding it so hard to engage..there are so many things im reluctant to take on....and i look at myself and search for the *why's*
and the answers are..
right now i can look at life and carefully squint and see something else... i can ignore play make believe and just basically pretend .. because its more comfortable than doing the things i need to..
i had a road to damascus day on the weekend and realised ( although i already knew)have to take care of my own interests and also. i shouldnt be here doing this. i should be doing something else entirely... i have a whole other life waiting for me. all i have to do is do it. anyone out there fancy kicking me till i move feel free..
