Posted by Hislilpuppy on Sun 16 Apr 06, 9:37 PM to Hislilpuppy's blog.
Hey
Lord it has been a while since i made any post . I was recently reading back on my first original posts i ever created ,when i first found IC . The promise of writing each day kinda went out of the window !
Well lots have happened recently Work wise ,i had a major blow my security has been pulled from under my feet and has forced me to now become freelance, which i believe in many ways is a posertive thing ,as i can make much more money from simply being freelance however the downside ...no garuntee of work famine or feast will be the moto !! So i have spent this week trying to get my name out there and really sorting myself out considerably:- websites and business cards , contacting people and so forth !! hard work but lets hope it brings me work (bites finger nails nervously)
On a different note Daddi and i went to Ceasers Velvet Eden which as always was FAB FAB FAB !! We have decided this is our favourite place to play as we like the atmosphere , the people and everything !! This time we chatted alot more to people ! We tend to play mostly at home and as a result when we do go to clubs which we try to make once a month , i feel a little out of it!! We dont go to munches as we dont really know many people very well however we do go to SM DYKES munches which are always good ! sometimes the BBB like today !
I find it sometimes hard now to play in public, mostly because of the restrictions regarding sex ( i love sex!!) also i seem to clam up when we do publically have sex i.e i need lube!!! Also because we play at home the energy is very different ,and sometimes i find it hard to switch off from others watching which is why i am thankful for the blindfold and the begining of each scene where i kneel in front of my Daddi .I ground myself present myself to Hyr and focus my mind for a moment ,almost like meditation. After a warm up i simply forget others and am lost within the folds of the blindfold only feeling and focusing on whats happening ....
however friday was a little different as we decided to play in the area where there are lots of matresses .I think it is the couples area where you can have sex and be watched etc .In that instance i was aware of others in the room and watching i could even feel their energy as they were particularly close ( i realised once the blindfold was removed) plus i couldnt zone out the noise of a couple fucking on the matresses close by lol her moans were unfortunatly drowned out mostly by the grunts , moans of pain/ pleasure and screams surpprisingly from me!! ( Daddi has found ways to make me scream !!!LOL) Elastic bands are a great cheap alternative to a single tail as they leave a lasting similar mark and similar sensation!! i love / hate it ...Also biting hard Daddi really likes t make me squeal with this ...plus hand slapping , i wouldnt call it spanking as it hurts so much really hard sharp fast smack with the hand god it kills everytime especially on my back....though really i love it (shush dont tell Daddi!!!!)
Previously to this play we warmed up on the main floor . I was not tied down to the furniture as my Daddi and i rarely use bondage when playing . This brings a different dimension to the play as ofcourse i could simply walk away ( ahem if i wanted to be really hurt by Syr Ice that is LOL) no seriously because i am not tied down and there forced to to stay put , i have to will my body to obey and take the pain. This is more mental bondage as ofcourse you can only say "this is what i want , what i need what i like , i have a choice and i choose to stay for us for Hyr!!" not as the alternative to our play when we do use bondage " i have no choice , i have to take this , it hurts but i have no choice !!" which can be fun to play with !!
Back to the story We were warming up and Daddi was not hitting me hard at all when all at once i became aware of shallow breathing which i tried to control ( stood in nothing but thong and collar very strange) , my chest felt heavy and my heart was palpitating and beating fast . A strange sensation of the world spinning but i was blindfolded and panic ! I simply gave my hanky (safe word) to my Daddi and nearly fainted apparently i went very pale and wobbly legged !! Very strange Daddi was wonderful and knew just what to do and looked after me brilliantly , head between my legs and breathing deep , collar off , water and warm blanket at hand although i was rediculously HOT HOT HOT !!! Well we had no idea what happened i have never fainted before nor nearly fainted .....we could only imagine is was blood sugar level as i have an underactive thyroid and find that if i dont eat every few hours i get very tired ...it had been over four hours since our dinner?? any ideas as to what that was all about please let me know if you have experienced near fainting before!!!
We also went to the BBB today which i dressed up for as i was on a mission to blag as much stuff for the Womens SM DYKES International Conference and Aucion (say that fast if you can ) I had to go and flirt and smile sweetly and try to get as many things / donations to sell at the auction to raise money so ofcourse red lipstick on , high heels and dressed up lots off we went . John Dietrich said i had a nice body , the kind he likes which made me smile lots and lots ....plus he gave me a limited edition print signed from him....wow a smile and a flirt goes a long way hehe....So many people donated lots of things some even donated twice as i accidently asked again !! It was cool....strange thing was Daddi and i wanted to buy lots of new things and had the money ...isnt it the case when you have the money you cant find anything you want...when you are as poor as a church mouse you find all the wonderful kinky things your heart dreamed of!!!??? RATS!
I have decided to sell (or try to sell as last time they didnt sell at all !!!!) again some things which i thought some of you may be interested in ....If you go the Ebay and type in the search the following codes you will come accross my three items! I recently lost alot of weight and have nothing to wear to go to clubs so need to sell the corsets so i can buy a new one!!(violins playing in the background !!!) plus my mum said to me "here do you want this "high frequency unit, to help with your skin?" I said in my head "My god its a new violet wand designed for beauty thearapy...or pervyness hehe" so you see i have this surpluss little violet wand with no use sitting gathering dust!!
Rawhide jade green corset 28 inch 9310709404 Gallery Serpentine Black Brocade Corset 28 inch 9310716249 Small Fully restored violet wand 6272377659
Well thats my little selling bid!!
Back to BDSM recently i have gone off blood play such as cuttings and needles ...dont ask me why! I have , however suddenly become more confident ! I told my Daddi so much more personal things recently about what i would like to try further to what we already do...I described my private darker fantasies and desires...also about what i do when i Self / solo Bondage ....why ? I dont know maybe because with everyday i become closer to Hyr and feel that i can express my deepest desire more clearly which was always a major problem for me(verbal communication)!! i have come so far i feel in my own personal growth in regards to communication and how i express myself .For example the day after we play i find myself being very needy wanting something yet not knowing what ...hugs , play , sex ?? i didnt know i couldnt communicate ...we know now that i simply need more aftercare to be held , hugged and told i am loved is enough now !!
My Daddi encourages me and understands me more with every day that pases ,there are always so many things to learn about each other like the other day i learnt that one of Hyr likes was digestive biscuits with jam on!!! not a very BDSM thing but i really like little trivial things like that as it keeps things real!! I love how our relationship isnt just Dominant and submissive, D/s , BDSM.Mostly it is Lee & holly everyday spending time together doing stuff and things like everybody else however underneath ever present , always there is this undercurrent of D/s which is just part of our lives harmoniously incorporated into every detail of our interaction . It only takes a look or a word to know its there or even just to sit and have the Daddi energy coaxed out to play and brush my hair whilst i sit at Hyr feet ,very simple things like this are so fulfilling . Old Guard aspects like Boot blacking i do regularly for Hyr .Some would call it 24/7 we would call it Lee & holly ...i enjoy the peaks and ups and downs of the energy we play with from Daddi Lee , Syr Ice , Dale & Lee all One person yet so many posserbilities and energies!!
Anyway i think thats enough !! I look foward to the next time i can share my experiences with others via the medium or weblogs and effectivly mapping my journey through BDSM and archive of what happened and what is happening ! I would love to hear your thoughts on fainting during a scene also please take a look at my items on ebay !! Sorry for any spelling and grammer again in this weblog ! Hugs Holly
Oh Thankyou Daddi Lee for the play on Friday it was Fab and marks finally YAY!!!(i dont mark easily just for a few hours not that we have'nt tried lol)
| 17 Apr 06, 10:24 AM lucky_1 7 yrs |
Well Hol It was worth the wait! Lol. Good to see you both so happy again. I know what you mean about communication it's only now that I will share some of my deepst darkest fantasies with capi and J. Have to be careful with that one as J takes it as a mission to make it happen! You seem to have the same vision of your D/s as we do. Life is good, life is normal but the undercurrent is always there. One look, one gesture is all it takes. Lovely! Hope to see you both soon. xxx The more that pleasure turns into pain, the more inclined I am to stand and take it. Texas 2005 |
