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Happily ever after? (2)

daitchen's profile

Posted by daitchen on Fri 17 Mar 06, 6:20 PM to daitchen's blog.

I haven't been doing enough walking lately, something I like to do for exercise but also because it often relaxes my mind into a state where words start to flow, and then comes a powerful urge to write them down.

I haven't weblogged here for three or four months, and so there must have been a backlog built up, because today all it took was a quick trot out to the shopping centre in the cold Thames wind, whereas it used to require a "proper" walk somewhere at least a little bit wild and natural.

Last night we had a serious talk about our relationship, about how often and how intensely we play, and how much of a sense of direction or development I feel. We have been living together for almost a year, now, and are content and comfortable with each other, which is a very good thing, on the whole.

On the other hand, speaking for myself, there are times when comfort and closeness have to give way to something colder, more challenging, or there is a danger of stagnation setting in. It's a matter of getting the balance right for us, keeping the relationship stable but still vital. I have an inkling that this might be pretty-much the crux of successful D/s in general, actually.

In fact I think that all relationships need work and maintenance, and I don't subscribe to the "happily ever after" idea. When I occasionally come across people who seem to be trying to give the impression of having reached such a state my reaction tends to be a slightly sceptical one! I do have what you might call a romantic side - in that I believe there will always be greater depths to plumb in my own and my partner's psyche, and wonderful, even awe-inspiring discoveries to be made. But my realism reminds me that they can only be dug out gradually, with sweat and sometimes, tears. They don't get served up on a plate as soon as you find "the One".

So, anyway - here we are, certainly not living happily-ever-after, but the story, maybe, is all the more interesting for that.

Edited Fri 17 Mar 06, 7:10 PM by daitchen

Replies

18 Mar 06, 3:43 AM The_AntiSub 7 yrs

dechen wrote: I haven't been doing enough walking lately, something I like to do for exercise but also because it often relaxes my mind into a state where words start to flow, and then comes a powerful urge to write them down. I haven't weblogged here for three or four months, and so there must have been a backlog built up, because today all it took was a quick trot out to the shopping centre in the cold Thames wind, whereas it used to require a "proper" walk somewhere at least a little bit wild and natural. Last night we had a serious talk about our relationship, about how often and how intensely we play, and how much of a sense of direction or development I feel. We have been living together for almost a year, now, and are content and comfortable with each other, which is a very good thing, on the whole. On the other hand, speaking for myself, there are times when comfort and closeness have to give way to something colder, more challenging, or there is a danger of stagnation setting in. It's a matter of getting the balance right for us, keeping the relationship stable but still vital. I have an inkling that this might be pretty-much the crux of successful D/s in general, actually. In fact I think that all relationships need work and maintenance, and I don't subscribe to the "happily ever after" idea. When I occasionally come across people who seem to be trying to give the impression of having reached such a state my reaction tends to be a slightly sceptical one! I do have what you might call a romantic side - in that I believe there will always be greater depths to plumb in my own and my partner's psyche, and wonderful, even awe-inspiring discoveries to be made. But my realism reminds me that they can only be dug out gradually, with sweat and sometimes, tears. They don't get served up on a plate as soon as you find "the One". So, anyway - here we are, certainly not living happily-ever-after, but the story, maybe, is all the more interesting for that. nice to see you blogging again and I can identify with what you have said totally! even about the walking! take care and I hope to see you soon when I get back! x

18 Mar 06, 1:54 PM daitchen UK(SE), 9 yrs

demii wrote: nice to see you blogging again and I can identify with what you have said totally! even about the walking! take care and I hope to see you soon when I get back! x Thanks demii I hope you are enjoying your time in Vietnam. yes, probably see you soon. x "What alters the imagination alters everything" (Ted Hughes)