Posted by elderflower on Fri 10 Mar 06, 9:32 PM to elderflower's blog.
I have, against all the odds, finally found myself a lovely, slightly odd looking chap. Mwahahaha!!!!!! Success!
He has (without biting, kicking or blackmail) singlehandedly taken on the job of getting me to open up and lean into the vulnerable position of liking him. If that weren't enough for one month he's also attempting the even-more-tricky job of letting me allow him to like me back. Good man!
I've always had a wee wotsit with need and being needed, dependence and being dependent. It makes me panicky if men decide they like me...and I feel safe only liking those who give nothing in return. If they give nothing, they will not be interested in delving into me and so for a long time I had two week relationships. I would be off like a whippet for the hills every time a chap started wanting time with me, it was as if I had an internal switch within me....things would be great-he's-gorgeous-groovy-let's-have-a-nice-cup-of waitacottonpickingsecond-fuck!fuck! ruuun awaaaaaaaaay!
In a way that's why I found casual play scenes so rewarding. I would be given attention, fun and a strange form of love with absolutely no fear of being connected in a dangerous, emotional way. I would also feel lousy afterwards which is why I've given up that particular form of entertainment.
But now that I'm attached, now that I've found someone who will happily spend naked afternoons with me...he has absolutely no interest as far as I can work out in kinky, delicious, extravagant sex. Damn and blast it! Loving, gentle sex is wonderful and excellent in many ways but I need him to hurt me!
How do you corrupt him? How do you get a man to scratch you till you bleed? To grab your hair and twist your head up so he can bite your neck? How do you show him a cane and get him to merrily thwhack you with it?
| 12 Mar 06, 10:31 PM Shamaros UK, 6 yrs  |
Dear Miss elderflower, I know Im a liitle late on the reply but I have been away for the weekend =D As Im a bit of a fool when it comes to emotinal conquests, so I shall hold back on any advice that I might give you, but on the subject of corruption =P dont so much think of it as corrupting him as to enlightening him to thoughts that, really, all guys have. Personally all it took for me was a simple question "what turnes you on" and from there I got here. I suggest you if you wanna swing a guy it'd probably be a good idea. If you fear scaring him, just be subtal. It might end up that he has more kink than you =D Best of luck to you, Shamaros x |
