Posted by Smartarse
on Wed 1 Mar 06, 12:41 AM to Smartarse's blog.
My addiction to IC is in full flood. Tomorrow I'll have to knuckle down to some work, which means no IC until 5pm. 
It's been a busy time for me on here. I've been posting, chatting, blogging and memoing.
Some of the stuff I've read and the exchanges I've had with people have been very enlightening. I don't think I've ever questioned quite so many things at once. The net result is that my thoughts and preferences change with the wind. (Must take something for that. I think it's all the bananas I've been eating 
).
I've come to a new point of understanding of myself and of the BDSM community and some of the concepts we juggle with.
I guess the first concept is development and flux. I've realised nothing stays static. Feelings, likes, dislikes, opinions, circumstances, relationships, the community, the mix of opinions - all change, all develop over time. Understanding that everything is on the move is an important concept to grasp. I hadn't realised it before, but it's obvious really.
The second concept I now understand better is switchiness. The current definition of switch is flawed. It covers two shades of BDSM. It covers all people who like to both top and bottom. It doesn't differentiate between those that switch with their partner and those that don't. The distinction is important to understand for those considering partnering a switch. You need to know which switch is which . If someone has no desire to switch, one type of switch partner is suitable for them, the other isn't. For a switch like me, it's important to know which type of switch I am so that I can tell potential partners.
It's a choice I have to make and stick to.
The third concept is 'true submission' or 'total domination' - if you look at it down the other end of the telescope. Some people want it, some people need it, some people think it will 'fix' them. Me, I think they are getting mixed up with love. For me that works. I don't expect anyone to agree with it, because for each individual the experience of submission is different (concept 3A.) But if I think of submissive feelings as love, I can get my head round it. And it makes a hell of a lot of jigsaw pieces fit.
I'm sure there are more but I can't think of 'em now. And your head is probably aching from working out which switch is which. Right I'm off to to check the ad listings for switches in Ipswich.
