Interrogation and Torture (0)

kathy_x's profile

Posted by kathy_x on Wed 8 Feb 06, 10:05 PM

i'm not flooding IC - i intended only to write one blog tonight but I hit return too many times. This is the last one. And about personal BDSM thoughts. So there. :p

I've written about this before, but probably since I was around the age of 12 I had a reoccuring dream of waking up in a cell and being dragged through a dungeon and tortured and interrogated. Not sure what for. Or whether I broke, or what they did to me in the dreams but only that I was turned on enough to try make it reality. Even if it did take fucking ages! lol. I think it was a combination of the films I watched, and the castles i got dragged round as a child and history lessons (and especially the sexy history teacher) that triggered it, but who knows. I wasn't born a masochist. I just went that way!

I dont think there always needs to be a point to it, or a theme, but sometimes I think it helps psychologically to have something to be tortured for, rather than just the Dom's own sadistic pleasure and just because you like the play and pain mix.

Actually..yeah maybe i'm wrong that is kind of enough . lol.

Although..we've tried it a couple of times where there would be a 'point' to it. Sometimes it's been something silly, and sometimes not. Like something I've really not wanted to tell. Embarrasing things. Personal things.

I like the encouragement and incentive to push myself, to go further. But honestly, I really dont need all that much encouragement whatsoever, but it is nice.

Suppose its the masochistic pride thing too isnt it. To be able to do it.

If he wanted to break me its not really difficult. There's things I dont like, or that I can only take 'so much' of. Like wearing hats. Or being cattle prodded. Or having my feet caned and electrocuted...or worse...tickled. LOL. It could take less than a few minutes, and what satisfaction would there be from that? For either of us..not much.

The whole point of BDSM is that its supposed to be a fantasy, and also it's about the mind games not just the physical stimuli . I think its a bit of a head fuck..thinking that you're being pushed to almost breaking point...and then that point being controlled and simmered rather than boiling over. I reckon the more intricate and involved the fantasy, the more ermmm interesting that result.

I like being pushed, but i know the safety is there that i play with someone who knows how to read me without me having to say things as its pretty difficult to communicate when being 'compromised'.

Although, me screaming 'up' when hanging upside down with an electrode in me, was rather misunderstood, when I meant 'i want to be upright' and he thought i mean 'i want more power' LOL. Although saying that ...the more power was nice

Thank god for long lasting batteries!

kathy -xxx-

Edited Wed 8 Feb 06, 11:10 PM by kathy_x


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