Alone (7)

melody_A's profile

Posted by melody_A on Wed 28 Dec 05, 10:28 AM

I'm all alone right now.

Master is away and I'm hopping around the house with a broken leg. Mini mel is 'up Norf' visiting her father, so it's just me and the cat.

We have snow here, it's very pretty – wish I could get outside to build a snowman. Only I can't, I'm stuck inside. Each journey is an epic one, with two crutches I have to carry a bag on my back to move anything. I've spent the last two days with my phone stuffed down my bra! Getting up stairs takes about ten minutes and I'm exhausted when I've arrived at the top – only to remember I've forgotten what I needed when I started my journey. I'd forgotten just how big this house is – and whose stupid idea was it to incorporate a few steps downstairs? Making a meal was fun, put some rice on and pottered around doing other things. When I saw the rice boiling over it took ages to hop across the kitchen, so it all boiled over and made a huge mess. I felt like crying.

It got me thinking. Just how terrible it would be to be alone. Truly alone, not just living alone. To be old, infirm, struggling around the house knowing that you aren't going to speak to a sole all day – not knowing when you might. Struggling just to do the basic things you need to do to stay alive – hell, I've only got a broken leg and was feeling sorry myself.

Master has asked a neighbour to pop in to check I'm ok. She has a key and I didn't know what time she might call. So, all day yesterday I pottered around with my ear half cocked listening for her. The house was silent as I worked in my study, snow all around just made the whole world a little quieter. I waited and waited and she didn't come – weirdly, I was really upset, I was so looking forward to her visit. We are lucky that we can't see any roads whatsoever from the house, just fields to three sides and the woods to one. Yesterday I saw no life whatsoever – strange, I really felt alone. With my broken leg and crutches I couldn't even go outside and enjoy this lovely place that we live in. I felt like a prisoner.

Oh this isn't a 'let's feel sorry for me' blog. Master will be home tomorrow night and I know I've got lots of friends and family I can call for a chat. This is a 'I think I know a little what it feels like to be truly alone' type of blog. It made me sad, scared me a little if I'm honest.

I never want to be alone.

Replies

28 Dec 05, 10:57 AM
DK1369
UK(HD), 6 yrs
Sorry to hear about your break.
At least you can defend yourself with the crutches!
Sometimes being alone is a wonderful thing it's the loneliness which is the one to watch out for.
Best tregards x
melody_A wrote:
I'm all alone right now.
Master is away and I'm hopping around the house with a broken leg. Mini mel is 'up Norf' visiting her father, so it's just me and the cat.
We have snow here, it's very pretty – wish I could get outside to build a snowman. Only I can't, I'm stuck inside. Each journey is an epic one, with two crutches I have to carry a bag on my back to move anything. I've spent the last two days with my phone stuffed down my bra! Getting up stairs takes about ten minutes and I'm exhausted when I've arrived at the top – only to remember I've forgotten what I needed when I started my journey. I'd forgotten just how big this house is – and whose stupid idea was it to incorporate a few steps downstairs? Making a meal was fun, put some rice on and pottered around doing other things. When I saw the rice boiling over it took ages to hop across the kitchen, so it all boiled over and made a huge mess. I felt like crying.
It got me thinking. Just how terrible it would be to be alone. Truly alone, not just living alone. To be old, infirm, struggling around the house knowing that you aren't going to speak to a sole all day – not knowing when you might. Struggling just to do the basic things you need to do to stay alive – hell, I've only got a broken leg and was feeling sorry myself.
Master has asked a neighbour to pop in to check I'm ok. She has a key and I didn't know what time she might call. So, all day yesterday I pottered around with my ear half cocked listening for her. The house was silent as I worked in my study, snow all around just made the whole world a little quieter. I waited and waited and she didn't come – weirdly, I was really upset, I was so looking forward to her visit. We are lucky that we can't see any roads whatsoever from the house, just fields to three sides and the woods to one. Yesterday I saw no life whatsoever – strange, I really felt alone. With my broken leg and crutches I couldn't even go outside and enjoy this lovely place that we live in. I felt like a prisoner.
Oh this isn't a 'let's feel sorry for me' blog. Master will be home tomorrow night and I know I've got lots of friends and family I can call for a chat. This is a 'I think I know a little what it feels like to be truly alone' type of blog. It made me sad, scared me a little if I'm honest.
I never want to be alone.

See good and evil as the same: both are merely God's play. ( Vivekananda)
THE MORE FREELY I BREATHE, THE MORE I SEE WHO I AM. THE MORE I SEE WHO I AM, THE MORE I LOVE WHAT I SEE!

28 Dec 05, 11:25 AM
melody_A
UK, 6 yrs
Y!
DarkKnight1369 wrote:
Sorry to hear about your break.
At least you can defend yourself with the crutches!
Sometimes being alone is a wonderful thing it's the loneliness which is the one to watch out for.
Best tregards x
Thanks, and yes I agree. I love being alone - I loved living alone. But, yesterday - I realised what really being alone was.

"I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess"

28 Dec 05, 11:33 AM
ShadowRose
UK(SM), 7 yrs

melody_A wrote:

DarkKnight1369 wrote:
Sorry to hear about your break.
At least you can defend yourself with the crutches!
Sometimes being alone is a wonderful thing it's the loneliness which is the one to watch out for.
Best tregards x
Thanks, and yes I agree. I love being alone - I loved living alone. But, yesterday - I realised what really being alone was.

*Hugs*
I too value my space and choosing to be alone, but as with everything having choice is the key.
I hope to see you down our way, once the leg is mended. I have a munch to escort you too
R x
ShadowRose: as a signature it's sweet, simple and to the point - nothing like me then.

28 Dec 05, 11:42 AM
melody_A
UK, 6 yrs
Y!
ShadowRose wrote:
I hope to see you down our way, once the leg is mended. I have a munch to escort you too
Oh yes, it's a date.

28 Dec 05, 1:28 PM
melody_A
UK, 6 yrs
Y!
taniajones wrote:
Your time is brief and the feelings will pass quickly so do not dispair.
I'm fine, really. Just got me thinking - always a dangerous thing.
Thank you for your comments. x

"I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess"

28 Dec 05, 4:23 PM
alexandraa
UK(NW), 6 yrs
I enjoy being alone but never feel lonely.
Sorry to hear about your leg you poor thing, hope it mends quickly and painlessly.
Best wishes
alex xx
Be careful what you wish for

28 Dec 05, 4:38 PM
Mrs_EStim
UK(WC), 6 yrs Sorry to hear about your accident hun, hope you get back to yourself again real soon. take care and HUGS to you
See oyu next year( and A as well)
Caz and Si xx


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