Ok, so I have a question...! (25)

So very true

Jeanie

http://groups.msn.com/MISSuse/_homepage.msnw?
Ohhh the pleasure of subspace

Sorry mate, have to admit I had a gioggle when I read this bit. You can look at whatever you like on the net in the privacy of your home. If this site is interesting then enjoy it. Crazy as it may seem, the most interesting bits aren't about sex but nice normal chatting with nice people. bedroom?

errr.... just do what you AND your partner like. Sure, you'll pick up ideas on here about what can be done and how to do it, but there is no kink quotiant or performance rating.

I give you the benefit of the doubt here .... dating isn't going to happen just because you've ticked some boxes. Get to know people for who they are and doors will open. Post on the boards, read, get to know people, ask someone local to greet you before a munch and then intorduce you to people.

This may seem a "kinky sex free for all" but in reality the normal social conventions apply.

So what IS the root cause of the numbers inbalance? Sub males out number domme gals almost to the point of hopelessness. Not sure how the figures work out for other combinations. Is the in balance reflected in real life as they say, or is it just the way it migrates itself on websites such as this? I'd be quite surprised if the inbalance was real off line, but then that has happened before, it's not totally impossible to shock me, just hard....

D

Loveable rascal seeks.....

Actually, I'd say both views are perfectly correct. I suppose it depends on what your looking for. You aren't going to find experienced BDSMerS on Dating sites, but the possibility of finding someone 'submissive' is definately there.

As for the Balance thing, I think I've been in trouble for talking about that before! So I will keep counsel.

franny.

Can you Film this?

Dating Direct dot Com I knew I was a bit kinky but for me the relationship match was more important than the kink match. I didn't know anything about BDSM or the scene - so much so that I didn't understand the 'clues' in his profile on DD. Neither of us are particularly hardcore, or I guess we'd have been looking elsewhere.

Come to think of it, fella told me he'd had profiles on BDSM sites for ages but had no joy, and came to the conclusion that he wanted a perfect relationship more than a perfect sex life, hence his presence on the vanilla site.

We were very lucky, no reason to think you won't be

Generally speaking if you can relate to some of the posts on IC then you are in the right place. Its not the only place by far and its always worth looking at other 'kink friendly' sites to see what their take on things are.

Depends on what you define as kinky My motto has always been that if you have fun doing it together then it is ok. That probably holds true in 'vanilla' relationships.

As has been said before, in this thread and others, the profile you write is the first impression people get of who you are, your likes and dislikes and aims in life. The more open and honest you are the better the impression on those who are looking for the same things. Same with memo's. Try and look at it from the other side. How would you respond to the memo from someone with no real profile? How would you be able to judge them and how would they compare to ones from others who gave a lot of good info and were good communicators?

Meeting people from a site or chatroom does work. I met my submissive through a fetish website. I am 57, not particularly handsome if compared to many younger models and was only one contact out of hundreds she had received.

She is 31 and very pretty so it must have been my profile (not my current one I hasten to add ) and my first memo that caused her to make that all important response. We have been together ever since.

So if you want to get noticed then you have to put in the effort for both your profile and the first contact memo.

And make sure you read their profiles first!! And all their posts and weblogs. You need to know what makes them tick.

I am against mailing everyone that meets your criteria, thats a poor way to attract anyone. And people talk to each other so you may find word gets around allmost as fast as the memo's you sent

BS

I don't know the answers. here are some random thoughts.

There are obvious socio-economic factors about time/internet access/marital status etc.

Beyond that I think part of the problem is that sub men can't satisfy their D/s fantasies in the real world whereas dommes can.

also men and women appear to be looking for different things from on-line contact.

I don't think the ratios are as hopeless as you imagine and in real life events , ratios tend to be quite evenly balanced...

--------------------------------------------------- --------- "If a woman rebels against high-heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat" George Bernard Shaw

or the memos are too awful to find a polite way to respond. a well written one apparently gets a better response.

--------------------------------------------------- --------- "If a woman rebels against high-heeled shoes, she should take care to do it in a very smart hat" George Bernard Shaw

D

(Yes, I like Futurama. No, I didn't remember the quote; I had to look it up)

Loveable rascal seeks.....

Be Kind, Man. Don't Be Mankind. -Don Van Vliet