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IC : Weblogs : Violently : "Kinklusive Nov. 12th 2005"
Kinklusive Nov. 12th 2005 (2)
Violently's profile
Posted by Violently on Mon 14 Nov 05, 8:48 AM
Kinklusive Nov. 12th 2005
Bodski quotable of the day
" I have the worst sense of direction, I'm also the one of us that has the best knowledge of Manchester. We're dekcuF!"
...12 years later after we re- find the kinklusive venue...
John Pendal and the Spanner Trust.
We (Me, Vanillaboy and the Bodster) caught a bit of the tail end of this talk (blogged also in IMPORTANT . . You Really Should Be Worried )
It is illegal in the U.K. to cause any marks or injuries for sexual pleasure which are longer than "transient or trifling". Even a lovebite (hickey) is technically illegal! (Quote from John Pendal's site)
Fair enough, you might argue that the police are unlikely to arrest you because you sport a hickey but it doesn't make it any less illegal and that is the entire point. Because of bad legislation, and because it IS illegal, you can be prosecuted for said hickey by -
A grudging employer.
An angry ex-boy/girlfriend in a court battle over kid custody.
A neighbour who thinks you make too much noise at night and wants you evicted.
And not just because you practice BDSM.
The talk was about the original spanner case that is cited as an example of how the government can intervene in the case of consensual "harm". This determines that an ordinary domestic wooden spoon for cooking can also be classed as a dangerous weapon which you can be charged for weidling.
Its that double edged sword that kind of sucks...
How do you determine what is abuse and what isn't abuse when you tread so thin a line?
Mo and myself were talking about the differences between the Uk and US scenes and about how much scene related stuff we do pro-bono...
Anyone who's been on a voluntary committee will understand how thankless it can be - so this if nothingelse, came across from John Pendal's talk on Saturday.
The four Spanner trustees are tired and it behooves anyone of us to help lighten that load - just because... relevant page of stuff worth supporting
Playing with FEAR
and the Leather Family.
Like bodski I thought the bit where Kat put the blindfold on herself instead of the sub, whilst playing with a sharp object - was pretty much playing with fear!
Later there was a question and answer session and Ms Williams raised a very valid point about aftercare for Dominants and submissives in very emotionally intense scenes such as ones dealing with fears and phobias - - Sometimes it is not possible for the bottom to want aftercare from the Top, and it is useful to have a neutral third party who is perhaps indirectly involved in the said scene in order to provide that aftercare.
I can see how that would be very useful in several scenarios - for example, in a rape scene where the Top is the rapist and the bottom is confronting that fear, and the scene is for all intents and purposes - feeling very real indeed! The last thing that the bottom might want in a scene like that is to then cuddle the Rapist! So a third negotiated party that can reassure both on the validity and consensual aspects of the scene is perhaps a good guide towards the light (when returning from a dark place)
There were many other lectures through the day and unfortunately we were not able to catch all of them. The main crowds had thinned out when it came my turn to be part of the "Women who do Bondage" floor show and I had the loveliest of opportunities - to tie Ms Williams up on stage!
--
Later we trundled back to the car ...
12 years later when we managed to re-find the train station...
kiss kiss hug hug.
The A616 on the way over to Ellies looks beautiful! I'd like to drive over it again when it's NOT pitch dark.
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