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Private BDSM tuition (36)

This post is on the SM/Bondage/Fetish web board.

2 Jan 06, 9:46 AM
Elves_uk
UK(SE), 9 yrs

katkevuk wrote:
When we started out in the lifestyle many years ago we were both fortunate enough to be mentored and helped by some wonderful dominants, learning skills and techniques from them

If you see someone who has specific skills you want to learn ask them, you may be surprised and they will offer to help you learn

We have offered mentoring for many years now, free of charge, helping dominants learn the basics, or specific skills or techniques. It is one of the ways we give something back to the lifestyle we love so much

We have done exactly the same, we were fortunate enough to learn from friends we got to know and people in the scene who are well respected experts in their fields. We now quite often help new people as friends, no fees as we feel charging is wrong but thats just us. If you have to hire a venue or provide food and drink thats one thing, if it is your sole means of income then again, fair enough, but we feel knowledge should be free excluding over and above costs. If you are going to play then whats the harm in playing with others present and sharing. Certainly one way of doing things. If you are going to charge then a max of ten quid per head but again its a huge debate as we know a pro domme session is 150 an hour or so. There are as many avenues and opinions as there are people out there

For us its fun and a game, we can not take it seriously at all but we do respect that others do, so good luck in your venture. We will however will still be doing what we do for free As we did at the last party on the 29th!

Edited 2 Jan 06, 9:47 AM by Elves_uk

2 Jan 06, 12:12 PM
Garybds
UK(L), 6 yrs

Ms_Tytania wrote:
Hello A/all,

I have recently started a series of private BDSM workshops or tutorials on a one to one basis that are proving very succesful.

I think this is a great idea,as a gay sub new to the scene I am tying to find a Master in the North West who may be doing this. If there are any please contact me.

2 Jan 06, 12:29 PM
MissToria
UK, 7 yrs

happychicklet wrote:

GreyWulf wrote:
Sorry chicklet your logic begs questioning, you make a sweeping comment based on no knowledge of her example, it was a valid one undeserving of a personal attack on her ability to choose. , you jump to conclusions it would appear.. good job you are not a Dom huh.

It's happychicklet, thanks. And my comment was based on her comment on my original - and quite sensible - idea that people who like and respect one another can learn the tricks of the trade without needing to take a - cough - Master's degree.

You get hurt physically - well boo shucks, laugh it off. That's why I suggested playing with a friend rather than a stranger with a Domly utility belt and a dodgy background in Masterly study.

If you hand over control of your body you must take some share of responsibilty when it doesn't quite go to plan. Good God, if I bleated about bad practice every time some woman has wrapped me with a flogger or landed a paddle a bit too high I would have no voice left now (and nobody to play with too, probably). It's a contact sport, a bit of rough and tumble, and a few knocks and brusies comes with the territory.

You get hurt emotionally - well, you chose the wrong partner didn't you? You must have done, otherwise they wouldn't have hurt you. But nobody can 'inflict' an emotion upon you. If you suffer emotional hurt, it's because you're sensitive to it. That goes for all of us. But again, it sounds to me like something applied in retrospect, ie, after she was dumped.

My original statement, which summer_princess disagreed with based on her own personal and limited experience (ie, basing her judgement on one wrong partner) was this:

I still say it isn't exactly rocket science, and you can't beat trial and error with someone you can have a laugh with.

I stand by that. There's nothing wrong with getting advice and stuff from other people, but we're not talking about professional qualifications. We're talking about bedroom slap and tickle, when it comes right down to it.

As to the more extreme stuff, well if you allow someone to stick a plastic bag on your head because they've read a couple of websites and claim to know what they're doing, on your own head be it, so to speak. Personally I'd still rather trust a nervous friend than a stranger who claimed to be an expert. In fact I once let a girl do knife play on me and she could barely slice bread. I trusted her not to stab me, and my instincts paid off. It was great, possibly the most thrilling play I've had, but it didn't all go smoothly. At one point she was concentrating so hard on not doing any real damage with the knife that she knelt on my fingers, which hurt like a bastard. Guess what? I forgave her and we laughed about it later on. Or should I have called RED and later accused her of being a clumsy amateur? Course not, she was a mate, learning on the job.

And as for this comment:

GreyWulf wrote:
good job you are not a Dom huh.

That's a feeble attempt to elevate your own status. I've topped quite a few women in my time - all friends - and sometimes it goes a bit wrong. Big fucking deal. I was never that perfect at ordinary sex either - I once pushed a girl out of bed in my sleep. Luckily I choose to play only with people who understand that real relationships exist and flourish better when this kind of human foible is accepted and even celebrated.

To sumarrise then:

There's nothing wrong with the OP's idea about training with people who have experience. But you can be equally successful learning with a friend, getting bits wrong and putting them right again.

well said that man...

the finger squashing is tempting me to start a thread on play/scene/sexual "accidents"

I love to learn,

(I'll hopefully never stop watching and listening to those vastly more experienced than myself)

but all the real leaps in knowledge I have made have been while with a partner, enjoying ourselves and not taking the whole thing too seriously.

Infact one of my most cherished comments from a previous partner was that I didn't manage to take a fun and exciting experience and imbue it with all the thrills of an afternoon spent trainspotting with accountants.

www.croydonmunch.co.uk
kindly do not attempt to cloud the issue with facts!

2 Jan 06, 12:50 PM
MistressRouge
UK(B), 6 yrs
£

What a great idea, and i wish you the best of luck

Fabulous website too!

I have, many a time giggled and burst out laughing at some of the errors i have made whilst in sessions )..It is trail and error really, and a workshop can be an advantage to areas where we are not as confident..

I myself am a novice to rope bondage, and will pop along to a few workshops in my area for advice on technique etc.. I have heard some horror stories in my time, and i feel workshops are a fab way of educating the genuine..

2 Jan 06, 11:27 PM
boundtostrip
UK(GU), 10 yrs

There's also the regular Rope Bondage Peer Workshop near Birmingham which is free: http://rope-peer-workshop.co.uk/ (although I think the website seems to be down at the moment).

Strangely, I also ran a private workshop last Friday covering some useful basic rope techniques for someone who contacted me through this site asking me for such a provision. It was good to share.

On the slant of 'knowledge should be free', I know a number of professional business consultants who charge considerable sums to share their knowledge and experience in their respective fields and are worth every penny. Similarly, my main chosen business profession is one I love, and I've spent a great number of years building my knowledge and experience to share. I still get great pleasure in sharing the application of this knowledge. During the earlier years, I found it difficult to charge for something I loved to do so much, thankfully, now I'm happy to accept what still feels like quite large sums per hour to train others (particularly when it comes to corporate training!). [rant] Whether you pay hundreds of pounds an hour, or nothing for some training, the 'value' can vary greatly (really not meaning to say anything against the guys who've already posted, just a personal thing about some people I know of charging huge amounts for unrelated things, and then doing it badly, whereas those charging a much more realistic figure, are 'priced out' as being perceived as low quality, but doing the same thing a whole lot better! [/rant])

I'm glad so many people are happy to share, both for money and for free. I really hope more people take the time to learn.

Of another part of this thread, some good First Aid training could also be extremely useful anywhere you go!

With warmest regards,

3 Jan 06, 3:28 PM
The_Playhouse
UK, 7 yrs
£

Black_Saddler wrote:
There is no doubt, in my mind anyway, that good training from a third party is worth its weight in gold.

If you're not based near London we offer this service in the Midlands. If you're interested there are more details on our site.

Mistress Kitana and Mistress Akasha www.the-playhouse.co.uk

The Playhouse The home of three lifestyle Mistresses where the possibilities are endless... www.the-playhouse.co.uk