Posted by Smartarse
on Mon 31 Oct 05, 11:32 PM to Smartarse's blog.
I've started being interested in the timing of people's entry into IC. What is it that triggers people to choose the particular moment they do, to enter this unique spotlight? Of course I mean those that join and then start to blog or make posts. Not those that join and stay quiet.
My own entry was a couple of weeks after I found IC and started reading as a guest. I joined because it looked like a very unthreatening place to be, and the kinky people whose views I was reading seemed attractive and normal. But that's the why, not the why then. The then was because I'd found IC by accident, just a couple of weeks earlier when googling for something entirely unrelated to BDSM.
So I find it very interesting when somebody new comes on to IC and makes a big impact. It makes me wonder why now? What is happening in that person's mind and that person's life? Are they seeking answers? Are they seeking validation for their lifestyle, or their choices or some decision that they've made in their relationship?
I'm guilty of occasionally poking fun at newbies. It tends to be a spur of the moment thing. And it's usually because there's nothing else going on. I try not be a part of a mob though. If somebody comes on and says something so outrageous that there's a stampede to comdemn them, I get really cross. It seems to me that it's a good idea to cut newbies some slack sometimes. To gently enquire and probe, rather than react and condemn without looking a little deeper.
| 31 Oct 05, 11:43 PM BarbieSlutLoki UK(E), 6 yrs  |
For me it was trying coming to terms with whom I am, trying to reconcile what went on in my first relationship,seeking answers, looking for advice on how to express my feelings to my wife and generally trying to sort out the whirling mass of contradictions and confusion in my mind
Still haven't quite got there yet, but IC has helped a lot and started to give me confidence in myself a little, made feel a little more confortable with myself and a least pushed me in the right direction ...Then the woman said; "It is true. My father-in-law died in a tiger's jaw; my husband also died there. Now, my son has also died there." Confucius said, "Why do you not leave this place?" The woman said: "Here there is no harsh and oppresive government" |
| 1 Nov 05, 8:28 PM reflex UK(PE), 8 yrs |
When I first came across IC, technically it was very behind the times. I think it may have had a board, but no blogging facilities. It felt like a clandestine closed community of people who all knew one another. The search, if there was one, was pretty hopeless and after about half an hour of trying to find something interesting, I gave up. I used to receive regular updates about the site via email which I always deleted before even reading, then one day they stopped coming. I hadn't visited the site for about a year, but I was interested to see what, if anything had changed. I returned to find it was a lot more user friendly and just generally a lot more person friendly. It wasn't just the BDSM aspect that interested me, although that was the main reason for being here, but the people who populated the place. They seemed, shock horror, 'normal'. The writing was by and large excellent with many issues being discussed with intelligence and good humour. The fact that there were so many areas of discussion outside of BDSM made it a lot less threatening to a newbie and gave me the courage to actually contact people. Could say the rest is history, but it would be a very short history, so I'd like to think it's the future. |
