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Polyamourous Relationships? (24)

This post is on the D/s & M/s web board.

29 Oct 05, 9:33 PM
Layla_78
UK, 6 yrs

Sophyzma wrote:
Hello, Layla

I am a polyamourist and presently in relationships with two long-term male submissives. I love both very much and each knows that neither is favoured over the other, with each catering for different needs/desires. I am very sexual with both those individuals. I also see one casual male sub and our relationship is non-sexual. What makes our relationships work is that we're all completely open with one another but polyamoury isn't for everyone. I don't use polyamoury as an excuse to 'screw around', casual subs aren't permitted to be sexually intimate with me.

Should jealousy/insecurity arise in a polyamoury relationship, it's an expression of emotional upset and this is where all persons concerned need to discuss openly any problems that exist within the relationship. If you are accepting a polyamoury relationship simply to please your Master and you aren't happy about this, you won't solve any issues if you don't talk with him.

If you would like to talk further, I am happy to do so via email.

Best wishes

Miss

Thanks for your views. My master told me about his other sub as soon as we met, so I'd always known about her, I just didn't realise that he loved her like he loves me. Thier relationship has been mostly conducted over the net and they have only met on 3 occasions. He never spoke really openly about her because he was scared of losing me. I must admit I wasn't always happy with the idea of a polyamourous relationship but I feel like now I have conquered my jealousy, which I have, I feel it would be an amazing experience. He assures me that his love for her doesn't mean he loves me any less and I believe that. I guess it was just hard to watch him be sexual with another woman when we'd been on our own for so long. I don't want to leave him but I do feel he has kept things from me and I'm worried he may do again. It's very hard because I love him so much and the other sub has become a friend of mine too. I guess I'm just worrying about feelings of jealousy coming back to haunt me. No matter what I tell myself and what I believe.

29 Oct 05, 9:39 PM
x_MDA_x
6 yrs
£

Are you bisexual? Are you attracted to the other female sub? I ask as it is much more comfortable being sexual all together. Bonds develop more closely then between the two subs.

I am not sure of your circumstances. It may be that he was sexual with her without you joining in, in which case it can be extremely uncomfortable even for a well seasoned poly.

MDA x

I am the white rabbit in Alice's Wonderland, my fur is decorated in her blood....

29 Oct 05, 9:41 PM
Doghouse_Reilly
UK(MK), 6 yrs

Mistress_DarkAngel wrote:
I am not sure of your circumstances. It may be that he was sexual with her without you joining in, in which case it can be extremely uncomfortable even for a well seasoned poly.

MDA x

That's not a poly relationship as I understand it, that's just accepting your partners adultery.

29 Oct 05, 9:45 PM
x_MDA_x
6 yrs
£

Doghouse_Reilly wrote:

MDA x

That's not a poly relationship as I understand it, that's just accepting your partners adultery.

true which is why I am asking.

MDA x

I am the white rabbit in Alice's Wonderland, my fur is decorated in her blood....

30 Oct 05, 10:15 AM
Layla_78
UK, 6 yrs

Mistress_DarkAngel wrote:

Doghouse_Reilly wrote:

MDA x

That's not a poly relationship as I understand it, that's just accepting your partners adultery.

true which is why I am asking.

MDA x

No I always joined in and yes I am attracted to women. Infact she sat and watched while we had sex so if anyone should have been jealous it should have been her. It wasn't the sex that was making me feel jealous it was the closeness of thier relationship that I hadn't been warned about. All the cuddling and kissing which sometimes made me feel like a gooseberry and made me feel uncomfortable, even though he did pay me just as much attention if not more. I wish I hadn't been jealous. I see no reason for it. Yet I was.

Oh yeah and I should say that she wanted to watch us have sex, it turned her on and it turned me on to be watched.

Edited 30 Oct 05, 10:18 AM by Layla_78

30 Oct 05, 10:19 AM
oldmobius
UK(TD), 6 yrs

Layla_78 wrote:
Anyone here in one? My master has 2 subs. I live with him and she lives in the states. We recently went to see her. It was hard for me. I felt jealousy and I didn't want to. I am still learning to be a slave to him and I don't think I was quite ready for the ride. Anyone been in a similar situation?

Have been in a poly situation with two slaves, one in the USA too. Although initially fine what started to surface was insecurity and little jealousies that eventually ended the relationship. I think it is only human nature for the vast majority of people to form an attachment with a person that they find extremely difficult to share with another.

Openness, reassurance, etc., is fine but it does not tackle the basic doubts and insecurities that develop. Those with happy poly relations are fortunate indeed.

Old Mobius.

30 Oct 05, 2:38 PM
lucky_1
7 yrs

oldmobius wrote:
Those with happy poly relations are fortunate indeed. Old Mobius.

I'll second that. I'm happily collared to Caprycorn and J. It works for us because Capi is switch. So at one end is J who is heterosexual and Dom. In the middle is Capi who is bi and switch and then there is me who is bi and sub to both. Makes for some interesting evenings in!

Lucky

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening. Lucky

30 Oct 05, 2:47 PM
pandoraa
UK, 10 yrs

Mistress_DarkAngel wrote:
Are you bisexual? Are you attracted to the other female sub? I ask as it is much more comfortable being sexual all together. Bonds develop more closely then between the two subs.

I am not sure of your circumstances. It may be that he was sexual with her without you joining in, in which case it can be extremely uncomfortable even for a well seasoned poly.

MDA x

Very good points here. I think it is important where there are two or more subs that all involved get to become comfortable with each other before anything important happens. If you value the people you are involved with it seems common sense to make sure everyone gels well otherwise I don't see how it can work.

I think it is also the same for any situation where it is two dominants and a sub and everyone has to be comfortable with each other in a non sexual sense for any sexual behaviour to follow on with less issues.

To the original poster, if you aren't comfortable you need to sit and speak to everyone involved. If you feel things haven't been disclosed to you fully then it stands to reason there is some jealousy although it might just be the fact that you know you don't know everything rather than pure jealousy.

Wherever there is the slightest bit of doubt to someone's integrity or honesty within the situation it will be very hard to make a poly relationship work.

If you feel it doesn't work for you, it doesn't make you a bad slave, or a bad person - it just means that perhaps poly relationships are not for you and there is nothing wrong with this whatsoever!

pandy

"Out of the ash I rise with my red hair And I eat men like air." Sylvia Plath - Lady Lazarus

30 Oct 05, 2:53 PM
Puddin_Von_Puss
UK(WA), 6 yrs

Yep, I'm poly. I have 3 subs and a Dom partner. 2 of which have been long term (4 and 3 years)Everyone knows all about each other and some have met. It works a treat for me (obviously) and seems to work fine for the boys too! (Love you x)

Not much help or advice there, sorry x

...And I'm praying for mayhem. And I'm praying for subtle ways. I wanna see the ground give way. I wanna watch it all go down...
Don't feel alone here...we are thousands strong x

31 Oct 05, 9:32 AM
madkat
UK, 11 yrs

Lion_Dream wrote:
... just lots of loving consensual relationships. Nobody is in the dark.

So you do it with the light on?

"He's not a male sub, he's madkat."

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