Posted by Smartarse
on Tue 25 Oct 05, 7:19 PM to Smartarse's blog.
Well I had to call this blog something and as it's about spending way too much time on IC today, and I happened to pick the phrase up from someone's post about cheese...
So... I've spent a lot of time on here today. I'm not sure why. Maybe it's a resurgence of interest in the doings on IC because the people on IC are more interested in my doings, which in turn is because I'm blogging more after a bit of an absence. Maybe because the work I'm doing at the moment is deadly boring.
I spent some time on the boards where I got seriously ambushed by a bunch of Veggie thugs intent on duffing me up for daring to say I'd feed my hypothetical children meat. That's what happens if you eat too much soya. You get aggressive. Go on Veggie's prove me right! 
Aww.. you know I'm only kidding. I love you really. And what does it matter what I feed my hypothetical children? It's only hypothetical animals being slaughtered, not real ones. Which reminds me..
Must give my imaginary friends jobs. Who wants to be a hypothetical farmer? George? Ok, clear off and make some hypothetical Edam. You need some imaginary Red Leicester cos apparently it's half way there already.
No! I'm not taking the piss. I'm really not. I love you folks on IC. I really do.
I don't know why I'm so hyper this afternoon. I sense something big is about to happen. I dunno what, and probably nothing will, I've just got that excited feeling you get before something does happen. But there's nothing happening!
I've not mentioned my imaginary friends before have I? I've brought them in to replace the real ones who are all still sulking. Cos in the grand scheme of things the sulking blog worked about as well as a steam engine made from wax. In fact for a while there, I had one extra sulker to contend with. (Glad you're back with us 
You know who you are).
Of course I've had an imaginary girlfriend for sometime now. Unsurprisingly she bears an uncanny resemblance to Sandra Bullock. Although in some lights she can look a bit like Keira Knightley. I don't know what she sees in me, but she says she'll stick around till somebody real turns up. I was thinking of dumping her and finding a new imaginary girlfriend who's not so high maintenance. (Do you know how much imaginary money it costs to keep a hypothetical sports car and a fantasy holiday home in the Algarve? No, neither do I. She won't tell me. She's got her hands well and truly on the imaginary purse strings. And I don't even know where the Algarve is.) As I say, I was thinking of dumping her but we got into a frank discussion about sex the other day and whaddya know? It turns out she's kinky. Yeah, we'd been together three or four minutes before I found that out.
Right. That's enough nonsense. I'm off to go and eat some meat now. Oh and the reason I'm a bit hyper and in celebratory mood? 5000 views of my profile. I know it's not as many as you girlies get but bloody hell I'm stupidly pleased with myself. How bloody sad is that?
| 25 Oct 05, 7:23 PM lucky_1 7 yrs |
And you called me an anorak last week! Good to see you blogging again too, the one on sulking was a peach, mind you I should not tell you that, just sulk! Hope whatever happens is good. Lucky
All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening. Lucky | ||
| 25 Oct 05, 7:35 PM Bbdspls UK, 7 yrs |
Yay! Smartarse back! How have I coped without your dietry support of my Bbd's breakfast regime? Low GI cereals every morning for the last 2 months, I hope you're proud! Enjoy the imaginary girlfriend - I have an imaginary lottery win I'm enjoying spending at the moment! As for people sulking, if that's how they choose to spend their time, who are we to pour sunshine on their rainy parade?
If you're not going to sh*t, it's time to get off the pot (trad Irish proverb!) | ||
| 25 Oct 05, 7:36 PM Smartarse UK(CM), 7 yrs |
Thank you Lucky smartarse | ||
| 25 Oct 05, 7:43 PM Smartarse UK(CM), 7 yrs |
I've only just just twigged that low GI is what I've been going on about all year. So yes, low GI is the way to go.
You should have kept quite about that. You'll find you acquire a lot of new imaginary friends. And shhh! Don't mention the sulking.
smartarse |
