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| squiggle |
on Mon 26 Sep 05, 3:52 PM to squiggle's blog.
This occurred to me the other day. I think I actually find play in private more intimidating than play in public. Which seems like the opposite way around from how most people think about it.
I mean, in a club or other public situation, you've obviously got people there. Some will watch. Some will watch transiently (as in, walk around, stop & watch, walk off again, come back, etc). There will be at least ambient noise, and more likely loud music. There will be people that you know, and people you don't - regardless of whether you can see them or not (or are in a fit state to notice, of course!). There might be rules in the club as to what play can or can't happen. I regard clubs as pretty safe, well-equipped environments for play as well as social stuff - I know there'll almost always be people I know around and about if something drastic should happen, and I also know the chances of something drastic happening are low (nothing of that sort has happened to me). There's that safety net type thing. Not to mention dungeon monitors, of course!
Whereas, in private, there will be just you, and the person playing with you. If there's music, there's music, but there's also the possibility of utter silence barring whatever noise you make. There'll almost certainly be no onlookers, transient or otherwise. The only rules will be your own (the plural your...).
The vast majority of the play I've done up until this point has been in clubs. Most often, casual play with a variety of friends & acquaintances.
I find that there's a whole lot more pressure in the private environment. I _know_ I'm the focus of my Mistress' attention; there are far fewer distractions, if any at all. There's pressure to do well (leaving aside the definition of "doing well" - I suspect most of you get the gist of that even if I can't define it brilliantly, since it varies from person to person _anyway_). Because it's just me, there's now no excuse or justification for being there, being played with, _other_ than the fact that I want to be (I mean, specific motivations aside; those aren't the point, really, not that I think I'm meandering to a particularly cogent point anytime soon...). There's no peer pressure or group acceptance that's subliminally there in clubs. There's no need for any kind of public-facing persona that we all to a certain extent put on.
It's just her, and me.
And it's exciting.
| 26 Sep 05, 9:24 PM verte UK(E), 8 yrs |
Sometimes I think you may be my subbie twin (SOMETIMES!). I feel really similarly about private play. Partly I find private play incredibly exciting because I'm quite used to public play and all those safety nets and restrictions (and in some ways freedom). I'm not sure there's actually such a thing as casual private play, really. Or if there's supposed to be, I find it very hard to think of it like that. And when you compare casual play in any context with real D/sish play ... Well, maybe there's very little point comparing. Write more blogs, Squig-meister! | ||
| 28 Sep 05, 9:32 PM squiggle UK(SW), 9 yrs |
Unlikely, given that I've just moved into my new place in London! Not to mention the fact that I hadn't heard about it...? | ||
| 28 Sep 05, 9:34 PM squiggle UK(SW), 9 yrs |
Nah - you have better cleavage than me. :p | ||
| 30 Sep 05, 1:48 PM squiggle UK(SW), 9 yrs |
You didn't ask :p
You mean, like, Rubber Ball weekend's Torture Garden special on the Friday night? |
