Posted by daitchen on Tue 6 Sep 05, 11:17 PM to daitchen's blog.
I used to be a member of a Yahoo group called BDSM Tantra, recently sadly deleted.
One day I noticed that F had posted a link on it to the group that he started, concerned with bdsm and paganism. (Not that I can claim to be a pagan myself, just interested in it) Anyway, I looked at this other group, and also read F's profile and weblogs here on IC. He came across as an open and honest person, with an awareness of spirituality, and with enough bdsm experience and scene involvement to reassure me of his genuineness. The problem was, he was living several hundred miles away from me. This distance between us plus yet more domestic disruption and interruption to my internet access meant that after exchanging a few friendly emails and a couple of brief but enjoyable chats on IM we left it at that for about two months.
Then the bright day dawned when I was plugged into the Web again, and within seconds of connecting to IM I received a greeting from F. At that point I had just started seeing another Dom who lived much closer, but things weren't going too well, as I've described in my previous weblogs.
F was keen, but realising I was already involved with someone, he didn't press too hard. I learnt that he'd been badly let down and so was trying not to build up any castles in the air this time. I gathered that he had been going through something of a low patch both in morale and health. This appealed to some dormant nurturing instinct in me, maybe. Anyhow, I found it easy to empathise with his weariness at being led up the garden path by so many timewasters and malicious fakers, especially online.
He was polite, non-posturing, persistent. But both of us were surprised when a few days' messaging each other every night culminated in a little spontaneous online D/s. This was a first for me, a departure for him, and awkward for both of us, to say the least - how to know when you're allowed to raise your head and get up off your knees without raising your head to check the screen? Hmm, come to think of it, we could have used the BUZZ noise... had either of us been prepared for that moment!
Wanting to taste the real thing, we arranged to meet up in person the next weekend. It meant a long coach journey for him, to a city he didn't know, starting off at the crack of dawn, only days after having had surgery which left him physically less than 100% fit. A Dom crossing the country to meet a prospective sub! I felt honoured. And nervous, of course.
I met him off the bus, and had no problem spotting him - the only person waiting there, and just a bit conspicuous in his black leather trousers! I thought for a moment it was all going to come to nothing, because when I walked up to him, he seemed pretty unimpressed. I later heard that he hadn't recognised me, even though he'd seen photos. He told me that he'd been expecting someone much fatter - a distorted rear-view photo I'd sent him had given him quite the wrong idea! My own reaction was fairly neutral but I decided that I was ready to give it a go, anyway. I had set up a safe call, but I felt confident that I could trust him, and that even if we played hard, it would be with control and careful risk assessment.
My instincts were correct, and a day and a half of almost unbroken, intense play followed. F weblogged about it on here at the time. In fact, as he has actually been weblogging about our relationship since it began I'm going to cop out of trying to relate the whole story, and from now on will write about things more or less as they happen, with just the odd spot of reminiscence and reflection.
And for those of you who've been on tenterhooks to know who F is - well, gentle readers - if you're sub, maybe you should just stay swinging there in suspense a bit longer (until my next weblog), as I suspect you're enjoying it really! 
Read no further!
Not-always-so-gentle readers/Doms please read on below.... (I can't stand the tickling any more...! )
................................................... ..
Finally doffing his cloak of invisibility, voila -
Fractal. 
Read here if you're interested: http://www.informedconsent.co.uk/weblogs/Fractal...
Edited Tue 8 Jan 08, 1:46 PM by daitchen
