Posted by candygirl
on Tue 30 Aug 05, 6:03 PM to candygirl's blog.
as a submissive/slave, why do i constantly leave myself wide open for people to see this side of me as something that they can manipulate their position over me because I am submissive.
My need is to please others and that means doing the best i can. I am not a needy, desperate individual. I am a fun loving person who just knows who she is and what she wants. So when someone you have just had a great time with, played extensively with and clicked with etc, doesnt contact you to find out how you are, their excuse, they were giving me space and peace time. Excuse me, but where is the repect in that, i am a person first and foremost and if i give my all, which i did, i expect some communication.
Why do they turn it around and make you feel like you are running after them, when all you are looking for is respect. They use their dominance to exact how and when they will communicate with you. I am sorry but to me this seems wrong and unjust.
So the search continues.
Hugggs
candygirl xx
| 30 Aug 05, 8:57 PM Sunhillow 7 yrs |
For what it's worth, i've come to realise that there is so much difference between "taking" and "receiving". A gift cannot be "taken" from us, it has to be given freely, but if that gift is then treated lightly and with contempt it negates the spirit in which we gave. Only a giver knows how to receive with grace because they understand the spirit of the giver. If that makes any kind of sense lol. Love and hugs l xxx
Love without trust is like an angel with but one wing... it cannot fly high or achieve much. Edited 30 Aug 05, 8:59 PM by Sunhillow | |
| 30 Aug 05, 9:23 PM GazUK1963 UK(B), 6 yrs  |
My opinion on this is that Doms who treat people like this are poor judges of character and too weak minded to be proper Doms anyway. Some men (in the scene or in vanilla life) can spot when a woman is vulnerable. Many will have an instinct to try to protect her. Others though will use her vulnerability to use, control and manipulate her. Some Dom's just can not tell the difference between a sub and a weak vulnerable person. They get it wrong. I know that most subs are strong minded intelligent people, who just like being sub, and have a submissive nature. I also believe that the Doms who look for vulnerability to exploit are not real Doms, they are weak minded "wannabe" Doms, who have not got the strength of mind or confidence to dominate someone who is strong minded and intelligent. I seek the same basic qualities in a sub as I would in a partner of any type, or a good friend. I like them to have their own opinions, to have a strong mind and to be intellectually my equal. In defence of us Doms, I think that most of us seek similar things. But as always, there are a significant number of these week minded "wannabes" out there. Spotting the difference is not always easy, but time will always reveal the genuine from the "wannabe". Good luck with your continued search. Gary. Everyone who lives dies, but not everyone who dies has truly lived. | |
| 30 Aug 05, 10:23 PM fen_fatale UK(CB), 8 yrs |
I think as a rule of thumb... anything that leaves you feeling bad, is bad! and the lack of communication shows the lack of effort they are prepared to put in. You certainly deserve more, and to expect some aftercare from a Dom that you play with is not too much to ask, many don't realise that aftercare is not just carried out in the 10 minutes after play, but is actually needed for about 48 hours afterwards. Those that don't know this are not as experienced or genuine as they would like us to think!
hang in there, there are decent ones out there! Semper in faecibus, Sumus sole, Profundum variat. | |
| 30 Aug 05, 10:49 PM Seraf 8 yrs |
I agree, I know the type of person you are and if you are not happy and someone is not prepared to accept a mistake then....maybe time to keep looking as you said. S. Is coming Kinklusive be part of it!!! |
