Posted by daitchen on Sat 20 Aug 05, 10:07 PM to daitchen's blog.
After I posted my last weblog, two people eventually replied, one asking for more. Thanks to you both.
I am always one to at least try and please, so here you are! With apologies for only noticing your replies a couple of days ago..
How did we play?
Handcuffed to the bathrails for a preliminary spongeing, then taken upstairs, where my heart sank at the dusty junkroom with cobbled-together spanking bench, and assorted mismatched old leather belts. One he wanted to use as a flogger - he'd simply encouraged the twisted and fraying ends to fray a bit further. Worst thing for me, was the lack of proper ropes, (and apart from the handcuffs, any other ironwork)and the fact that he seemed so reluctant to consider buying anything. (He was not, I should mention, broke) It felt like the bdsm equivalent of not wanting to buy your girlfriend chocolates!
We tried some pony play, difficult as it was in the cramped indoor space available. I enjoyed it anyway, more for the restraint and control rather than for any equine prancing about. There was some light spanking. I pressed a ladder into use for bondage, as there wasn't much else we could use about the place.
We had a couple of mildly enjoyable meetings, but there was no spark or thrill - I felt like I was training him, almost, in the bdsm basics - not at all what I needed, though I know all Doms have to start somewhere. Still, I do wonder if in his heart he is really more vanilla.
Maybe the biggest lack, for me, was of any real D/s. As time passes and I get to know myself better I realise this is indispensable for me. Not the role-playing, slightly swaggering, big public gesture sort of D/s, but the kind that grows as someone gets to really understand what makes me tick.
There was plenty of the former kind of D/s in my next brief relationship. Full-on in-everyones'-face humiliation on my knees the first time we met! I just accepted it and went along without protest. In fact, it was alright as far as it went - it just didn't really go anywhere at all where it matters, i.e. in my head. That takes interest, patience, a certain subtlety.
I wouldn't want to give the idea that I had a bad experience with either of the people involved. In fact I want to emphasise that the second person knows what he is doing, technically, and has a good range of toys. (I particularly got to respect his nasty electric swatter!)
Another thing was that neither person really proved to have much in common with me apart from the bdsm interest and geographical proximity. Since I wanted a long-term relationship, as soon as this became clear, the prospects for continuing became slim.
And then, along came F!
Edited Sun 21 Aug 05, 12:03 AM by daitchen
