Posted by melody_A
on Wed 17 Aug 05, 8:48 PM to melody_A's blog.
It's been a quiet couple of weeks. Mini mel is still with her father, I'm worried about her coming home all spoiled. Not spoilt, but spoiled. She's nine and just lovely. Looking at her when she's with friends makes me realise that she's really quite young for her age. She's not streetwise or 'aware' like some of her friends. I love her innocence and long may it last.
We're quite strict with her, we insist on excellent manners. There is no screeching and wailing in this house (Master wouldn't allow it), it's quiet, civilised, it's a place I feel safe and loved in – and I know mini does as well. She just adores A.
I'm worried that a couple of weeks with aforementioned father might spoil her. He's loud, shouts a lot, swears a lot, and thinks the best way to handle people is just to shout louder and louder until they give in. He's from the school that believes that, if all else fails, fists are a good method of persuasion. Please don't worry, not with his precious daughter.
He shows no respect to anyone, mocks all on the television. Lies to all so easily that it just slips so easy from this mouth. His girlfriend has two children, who by all accounts are the demons from hell. He's admitted to me that they are totally uncontrollable – although it's not surprising, they try to discipline them with swearing and shouting.
My lovely beautiful daughter is coming home on Sunday and I'm worried that she will have changed. She's never spent three weeks away from me, I've missed her a lot. I know that at some point in the future will come the dreaded words that she hates me, that she would rather live with her father.
Just want to protect 'my loveliness' from all that is horrid with this world, even her father. That probably makes me the world's worst mother, she loves him so much. I know that once she is home he'll not call or visit her. There will be no contact whatsoever until I take her back up North in a couple of months. She'll ask on a regular basis if 'dad' had sent her an email or letter. She'll write to him, she'll call him, she'll even send him a postcard next week when we go to South Wales – she'll get nothing in return.
My heart breaks for her – I love her so much.
melody
ps. Cat has gone missing – praying he's back before Sunday. 
| 17 Aug 05, 9:02 PM kikkiMM UK, 9 yrs |
Darling, have confidence in your little one. Most of all have confidence in yourself. Yes, she'll be changed, but not necessarily for the worse! Children are often underestimated for their savvy with adults. Give her credit for knowing where the love lies and how it lies too, coz her dad loves her also. It's a very strange thing watching your child grow more worldly and meeting life's bug-bears...but be there no matter what...as you will...and she'll always turn to you. Enjoy the reunion sweetheart, and try not to let your heart burst!!! warm wishes kikki xxxxx kikki{MM} "Callipygian ideal" according to MM. | |
| 17 Aug 05, 9:40 PM Capt_Jacks_Coat 7 yrs |
Melody, I so understand how you feel.. I am also in that kind of situation with my little apple of my eye... Just slightly different circumstances but i can relate to your being worried about your wonderful sounding daughter. i have stopped contact, because of similar reasons and i feel a bit bad doing it.. but i feel its worth it... do what you feel is right.. If you ever need someone who listens and knows how you feel.. feel free to contact me.. email.. or memo.. just me... i am many things.. | |
| 17 Aug 05, 10:18 PM Sukebe UK, 7 yrs  |
lovely post. I can understand what you're sayin, and it makes a lot of sense. Love my kids ter bits, they live with their mother, but I try and see em when I can. I also worry about others influences, and wish I could do more - sounds like your daughter's father does not know what true wealth is, which is sad, but I'm sure she'll see it truly at some point, hurtful though it is. There will be times when she plays you off, and it will be cruel, because children are like that - raw emotions are savage, and wisdom comes with time. However, she is lucky to have you to supprt her when its needed, even if she doesn't realise it at the time. Hope it goes well for ya. Take care. P. Todays morality is yesterdays expediency | |
| 17 Aug 05, 10:26 PM caprycorn 8 yrs |
She won't be spoiled. Children are tough, and give yourself more credit that you have brought her up the way she should be. Having said that, I do know what you mean as I am fiercely protective of my Sherbet Face. Just enjoy having her back again. And if, when you move, her father lets her down... well, it sounds harsh but if she has to go through that then better sooner than later. I know that sounds extreme, but I had to learn that lesson myself and it sucked. But just as I always had my mum and Sherbet Face will always have J and I, your daughter will always have you, and your A, and that is what counts. capi xxx My imaginary friend thinks that you have a problem | |
| 17 Aug 05, 11:55 PM melody_A UK, 8 yrs |
What lovely responses. Thank you.  Sometimes I look at my lovely one and feel my heart could burst with pride and love. I wonder how she's turned into such a lovely girl. I worry that she deserves more than me. She was five when I split with her father. For about six months she cried every day at school, her teacher would tell me. Yet, when I tried to talk to her about it she would deny any tears and hold me tight. She was protecting me. Goodness, I really must be missing her - I'm getting all tearful. I want her in my arms again, smell her, hold her and tell her I love her millions and twillions. x "I'm a classy honey kissy huggy lovey dovey ghetto princess" |
