Drivel Campaign Latest! + Cru Does Schoolroom

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CruelLadyScorpio
Posted by CruelLadyScorpio on Sat 22 Nov 03, 1:07 AM

Thanks to all for the enthusiastic response to our plea for members, both by mail and on this board. Unfortunately, just as it is said madmen do not know they are mad, so the folk who think they qualify as Real Drivellers aren't. Sorry.

It is a matter of great sadness that most of those with the greatest value to our Organisation remain tragically unaware of the fact, and will continue to Drivel unsung. We will of course be applying our creative efforts to further recruitment drives in future.

To the genuine Drivellers who mailed us, your membership certificates, citing your finest examples, will be on their way as soon as we've finished replying to the nice people. We'll also be including a bonus paragraph of Cru's trademark claw-flexing, which we thought might be more digestible if prefaced by the following vignette:

"Oh dear - it seems some of you haven't been attending, doesn't it?" ::twirls cane and glances significantly over glasses::

"For those of you too slug-brained to grasp it the first time, I'm going to explain it yet again." ::sighs, turns to blackboard and smoothes skirt over shapely behind::

"Irony is a concept which involves making a statement, either verbal, textual or physical, which implies you do not agree with said statement." ::writes this in chalk, ensuring profile of breasts in crisp, white blouse is sharply defined against blackboard::

"Some of you, and you know who you are ..." ::pins known self-absorbed idiots in turn with brief-but- penetrating stare:: "... appear to be unable to grasp this most simple of extended linguistic skills. So I'm going to put it in terms even you are capable of understanding." ::fishes in desk for Flake, unwraps it and starts tonguing it in provocative manner::

"I hate chocolate, and I particularly hate the long, hard, friable, succulent length of a Flake." ::stops, pink tongue flicking out to retrieve stray traces:: "Any questions?"

::baulks as a hand goes up, rounds on said cretin, teeth bared:: "I see I need to go for the lowest common denominator image here. Very well. I adore George Bush and he is emphatically not inarticulate and educationally sub-normal." ::waits patiently for laughter to abate, glowering::

"I'm amazed to observe that some of us don't even catch this quite basic irony?!" ::prowls between the desks, arbitrarily thranging fingers with cane:: "You boy! Stand up!"

OK, bored now ... was always shit at roleplay anyway

::smirks and skips off to practice triple irony with a double backflip::

Edited Sun 18 Jan 04, 6:34 PM by CruelLadyScorpio


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