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| CruelLadyScorpio |
on Thu 6 Nov 03, 5:28 PM to CruelLadyScorpio's blog.
Grade A: Only for use when you're incandescent with rage due to something like a repeat infringement. Ensure object of your fury is kneeling or sitting. Stand up slowly to achieve full Dom Loom as angry flush creeps up neck into cheeks. Allow face to achieve quality of granite. Glare. Stride off suddenly, swiftly and emphatically, so sub needs a moment to twig what's going on. Try not to trip over. Hide, preferably outside, and take deep breaths until you've got yourself under control. Cry a bit if required to relieve tension. By the time sub has found you, you're ready to deal with situation rationally. Fetch cane.
Grade B: For when you're spitting furious over a single incident. Sub can be standing for this, but sitting or kneeling creates a better effect. Seize soft objects, such as cushions and magazines, and throw them around violently in rapid succession whilst swearing a lot. Ensure you don't hit sub and try not to break anything (don't do what I did once and skim a heavy metal ashtray across the room striking expensive Sony television). What you're looking for here is the impression of an apparently uncontrollable storm of dominant displeasure, not an end to your insurance rebate.
Grade C: Used to express irritation and mild annoyance. Open mouth as if to speak, assemble face into expression of disbelief. Slowly close mouth and rearrange face into a fierce grimace (something like the red demon masks they use in Chinese theatre is good). Sub will by now have paused to review last few sentences to detect error. If sub is struggling, identify error before sub hyperventilates and you get a nosebleed.
Edited Sun 18 Jan 04, 6:35 PM by CruelLadyScorpio
