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| CruelLadyScorpio |
on Sun 2 Mar 03, 8:15 PM to CruelLadyScorpio's blog.
Despite the fact that I've been fielding this kind of gonk for what seems like aeons, I still can't stop choking with disbelief at this recent missive:
>Hi,
>i am a single 30 year old male from Histownspeltwrong who works in Edinburgh. I'm not really a submissive but have
>always had a fantasy of being fucked by a woman with a strap on.
>If this interests you at all then get back in touch here or email me at nobrain@twatmail.com
First reaction is of course 'Not even a tiny bit.' Does he expect me to squeak with delight, bolt on the ten- incher and make an immediate appointment to meet him in car park bushes in his lunch hour? Does he think the idea of this skanky assignation will get my juices flowing somehow? Or is it simply that writing such things to a Dominatrix gives him some novel chug material?
It's evident he can read, write and operate a computer, yet he misses 'not looking for a slave/submissive/playmate' written *twice* in capital letters on the front page of my profile.
::sigh::
Some time ago in a fit of devilry, and in the spirit of all those who thirst after knowledge, I replied positively to a similar message asking, nay, demanding, a one-off encounter with my trusty s/on; the helpful wee charmer instructed me on *exactly* what he wanted me to do, and what items of clothing to have ready for him to wear. When I suggested, with much restraint (I'd taken an enraged bite out of my desk), that he was perhaps getting a tad above himself, he became extremely irritable with me. Lucky all this was by email or I would have decked the little weasel.
However, despite the wear and tear on my fixtures and fittings, I gritted my teeth and diffused the situation. The subsequent correspondence dragged on for weeks, mainly consisting of him describing the minute detail of this joyous encounter, peppered with stuff like ....
>you sound a bit cruel, I >need someone who will be sympathetic to my fantasies.
(my sarcasm got the better of me that day)
>I would be glad if you helped me out with this >fantasy, if not I am sure I will find someone who >will,
(snigger)
>I cannot commit myself to anything long term, or >be a replacement for your current slave. Does your >current slave count as a boyfriend, I do not want any >complications.
(awww ... I reckon you'd beat him in a charm competition)
>well now >you know what I want, you know everything you need to >know to satisfy me,
(I can *hear* my fellow Dommes calling the desk repair man)
>If you have any other >dommes you would like to train I would be willing to >be 'gang-banged'.
(I'd put the word out, but I suspect the bang they'd give you would involve tight bondage, a Semtex dildo and a time-delay detonator)
Anyway, he'd got comfortable enough to get ambitious, so I decided it was time to suggest meeting for a drink to get him relaxed and in the mood, mwahahahah ... You've guessed; after tentatively discussing a venue, he wrote saying 'family problems' meant he'd be offline for some time (I didn't mention that there's such things as Internet Cafes, as I was bored shitless with the whole exercise by then)
Five months later I get a slightly sheepish email, asking if I'm still up for it, and containing the enlightening sentence:
> I miss our sexy chat, I have been seeing > >someone from Atown but I am too shy to ask her to > do > >anything too dirty.
Yes, of course, nice girls don't, do they? But mucky mares like me will be up you faster than a proctologist with a new pair of cooking tongs. I told him to naff off as I was busy with a new sub.
I really shouldn't have been surprised when the other week I got yet another note from him, decidedly folorn this time, saying he regretted not taking me up on my offer ... his confidence in finding someone else must have taken a few knocks, eh? What on earth is the matter with you Ladies out there?!! Come on, buck your ideas up - message me and I'll put you in touch with him, free, gratis and for nothing We don't already know ...
::Cru waggles the bells on her jester's hat, winks and skips away giggling::
Edited Sun 2 Mar 03, 8:17 PM by CruelLadyScorpio
