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| Wed 8 Jun 05, 10:19 AM Qwoin  UK(S), 10 yrs  |
I have been discussing with a sub friend how long initial discussions should be before the first meeting. Her view is that she wants to get to know someone really well before a first meeting. My view is that it is better to meet someone soon after initial discussions commence. I have two reasons for this viewpoint. Firstly it is possible to be anyone you want on line, I am sure we all have many tales of people being totally different to who or what they claim to be. It's much harder to continue this deceit in real life contact. Secondly so many people I have spoken to have at least one experience of getting on really well during initial contact and chats but when they meet the person the magic spark / special chemistry was just not there. No lies, no deceit just the chemistry not right. Although I feel an early meeting is beneficial my friend has also commented that anyone who suggests an early meeting puts her off and she might refuse to meet them at all. Any views on the topic are appreciated. | |
| 8 Jun 05, 10:24 AM Paul99 UK(RG), 7 yrs  |
Possibly meet halfway and talk on phone?- use mobile if unsure on safety issues. | |
| 8 Jun 05, 10:26 AM demolitionred 7 yrs |
I'm a talk on phone then get out and meet kinda girl. chemistry is impossible to determine even on the phone. practise safety calls etc though.
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| 8 Jun 05, 10:27 AM demolitionred 7 yrs |
As for the OP, is this sub someone you want to meet? If so, it has to be done at her pace. You are trying to build up a picture of yourself as someone who can be trusted. If you press too hard on any point, she'll never think that way of you. | |
| 8 Jun 05, 10:29 AM Mistress_Susannah UK(SE), 7 yrs £ |
I'm with you on this one. I meet people as soon as possible as it's ridiculous to build up an online relationship that may be disappointing in real life. Just be sensible about things. Public place for coffee, safe call. You don't have to play on the first date. Just see how you get on.
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| 8 Jun 05, 10:42 AM Backdooruk UK(BA), 12 yrs |
I'm with you on this one. Online and phone interactions can promote intimacy, but ultimately the only way you are going to be able to assess physical chemistry is in person. For me it all depends on how much I'm putting into communications. If it's quite light and explorative then I'm not in a particular hurry to meet. However if the online interaction is intense then I'm being quite intimate online, putting a lot of my self into communication and for those reasons need to assess chemistry sooner rather than later. - Chris Old member names: Backdoor, 1999-2002; Notvelvet, 2003-2004; Thought, 2004-2005. | |
| 8 Jun 05, 11:01 AM The_Playhouse UK, 7 yrs £ |
I find the internet is so full of dreamers that it's best to meet people who sound interesting early on - but always in a public place and only as friends - not dom/sub. That way you get to know if they will even show, and if they are who they've been saying they are. After an initial meet things can go back to being more internet or phone based if wanted. In the past I used to proceed for longer online but I had so many experiences of subs spending months emailing and calling, putting off meeting, saying they were busy etc, and eventually realised they didn't dare ever meet in person. But it's all up to the individual and every circumstance is different. Mistress Kitana The Playhouse The home of three lifestyle Mistresses where the possibilities are endless... www.the-playhouse.co.uk | |
| 8 Jun 05, 1:04 PM creative_flow UK, 7 yrs |
I have my first meeting at a munch tonight in York and I have to admit am nervious as hell.Although I totally agree that eventually you have to meet people face to face; for a newbie it is so hard to have the courage.You can guarntee i'll be sat on the toilet before I go and meet what is essentially, total strangers. | |
| 8 Jun 05, 2:11 PM The_Joker 7 yrs |
You'll be fine. It was my first munch a month ago, and I'm still here. Vader: "What is thy bidding, my Master?" | |
| 8 Jun 05, 3:02 PM happychicklet 11 yrs |
That's exactly how I feel. I think the expectations you build up over a protracted internet thingy invariably leads to some kind of let down (not always a total one, though). For me it's always worked better when I've just met people for a social drink after saying hello online.
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| 8 Jun 05, 4:50 PM Ariane 8 yrs |
I think it depends on the individuals and how smoothly the communication is going. I've been waiting quite a long time to meet one person as we are both very busy people and getting our schedules to coincide is rather tricky, but I've been particularly patient with this one because I had a feeling about him early on and I think it will be worth it in the end. I had that worked out by about the third message and would happily have met up with him then. Others may take longer. Getting a sub to be forthcoming in their communications can be difficult if they're new or not feeling confident. It may take longer for women than men, just think of the position they may be putting themselves into!
If she's worth it you'll be patient. That is, if you're worth it for her. Ariane Relax, nothing's under control. Edited 8 Jun 05, 4:55 PM by Ariane |
