Single male subs and female Dommes (63)

Yep.

Why can't he play away from home?

Come on - 24 years is a long time and as long as he is HONEST in his description, why not?

If two conscenting adults who understand the limitations of a relationship engage in a bit of play, where's the harm in that *especially* if it keeps the otherwise great marriage together?

I'm sorry but I'm afraid I'm all for it *IF* done with both eyes open, complete understanding and trust because why should his urges be allowed to so dominate his being that he ends his marriage for fufilment.

That's why we have pro-dommes, prostitutes and therapists - so people can get fufilled outside their relationships and stay in them.

The blood is the life...
Lady Death

And his wife is not entitled to be part of this "COMPLETE UNDERSTANDING AND TRUST"?

You are right - and I have no moral agurment to counter with

The urges are strong enough for me to act on - I don't always but sometimes well you must know what I mean

My act's are usually with Pro-Dommes - and out of the 6 I have visited only 1 was a disaster - of course they are interested, and experienced, particularly with people in my situation

BUT - I can't be the only person like this - otherwise sites like this would not exist

As for quoting Informed Consent translations to me, well, perhaps you should read Eats, Shoots and Leaves (wait a mintue - that descibes me as well!!!)

Thanks

Do not mistake me for a conjurer of cheap words! I own both "Eats, Shoots and Leaves" and the parody: "Eats, Shites and Leaves"

Edited 9 May 05, 1:00 PM by madkat

I am sure you are not a conjurer but maybe a moaner!

To quote another line I found on this site (on your profile actually) - Describing the 4 types of IC'ers

The moaners - people who continually post about how there aren't enough Dommes or female subs, or how loads of people have a "fake" or unclear profile. They just need a good kick up the arse. Hopefully they'll get the gist and either put in the effort because they're "genuine" or piss off.

I an effort to placate more 'moaners' I have amended my profile to state "I am married with a non knowing and non playing wife"

(ps I don't want a fight - just a debate)

I'm not a moaner - I don't generally rely on the clarity of peoples profiles to find out about them, and I'm aware of the mismatch in m/f counts. I also (again) put in the effort to find out about someone.

Your wife might not play, but I am firmly of the belief that she should be aware. Still, it's your life and your neck on the line, so it's ultimately your choice.

Her entitlement should extend to an acceptance of his needs and that at times he may have needs that take him outside their marriage.

I've been married 8 years and I understand and accept this in my husband because at the end of the day, I love him, he loves me and I accept there will be times he needs more or something I cannot give.

I refuse to lose him over *MY* shortcomings as we are such great friends, partners and lovers in other ways. I accept I am not *PERFECT* for him and so I _*MUST*_ accept he may look for complete fufilment of his desires outside our marriage.

At the end of the day, I'm the one he wakes up with, I'm the one he chats with, and I'm the one he shares his life with. If I wasn't so secure sure I might be afraid of losing him if he "strayed" but I'm not.

If she isn't as accepting after THREE TIMES the length of time with her man then that's her own lookout. And I think the same should extend to any relationship - we haven't all married Mr or Mrs perfect in every single way and so there are times we need fufilment in other areas. Sometimes this is a gossip with the gals or gaming with the guys. Sometimes this is therapy. Sometimes this is seeing a pro-domme or a prostitute.

It's life.

The blood is the life...
Lady Death

So what you're actually saying is "I think you should place your whole relationship at risk because of my morals because *I* think she should know."

That can damage a relationship beyond repair. I'd rather see him try and work through what kinks his wife does have repressed inside and get his other kinks filled outside until maybe the happy day if he discovers their kinks overlap. If not, he should not feel he needs to wreck his marriage over his kinks.

Or do you feel marriages should be ruined over kinks?

The blood is the life...
Lady Death

For me, this again shows that marriage isn't the right kind of relationship for many people. If you are "playing around" and it's not known to your marriage partner, then aren't you breaking the vows?