Posted by melody_A
on Sun 17 Apr 05, 11:39 AM to melody_A's blog.
How I howled and screamed.
A longer session is what I asked for, and a longer session is exactly what I got. Moving from mind numbing pain, to the edge of orgasm, in a heartbeat. Body couldn't take any more, yet I kept begging for more.
The moment I asked - I regretted it.
The moment the pain was at it's worst – I thought I was going to die.
The moment it was over I wanted it all again, except I wanted to be pushed harder, further and into a darker place.
Sometimes I think I am totally fucked up.
| 17 Apr 05, 1:40 PM hattie UK(AL), 7 yrs |
Great blog mel, i expect a lot of the submissives who read this will agree 100%. It is perverse that we love and crave the pain - i used to worry i had a dark side because i got off on being pushed to the edge, but no you're not fucked up - as troublesome says you're free. And isn't it a wonderful feeling
have fun and enjoy! hattie x x Why use one word - when you can use twenty !! | |
| 17 Apr 05, 3:34 PM Rhoobarb UK(FK), 12 yrs  |
No not fucked up, or if you are, then lots more of us are too. I'm the same. I want it to stop but I won't say so, because if I say so it will stop and I don't want it to. When he stops I want more, even though sometimes I'm glad he stopped. I want to be marked, to have welts and weals, I want to bleed, I want him to hurt me beyond what he has done before, and yet at the same time I dont want it, I'm scared of it because I know it'll hurt.
(reading this over, I'd say I'm fucked up | |
| 18 Apr 05, 1:27 PM naughtijac UK(PO), 9 yrs |
Welcome to the club! Actually, I think you are only fucked up if you sit down (if you can!!) and regret what you have done in the cold light of day. If you want to be pushed hard, that is a choice. If you were to keep coming back to something you did not enjoy, and subsequently regretted, that would be a compulsion.
It sounds like you are making a choice. If not, get some help. If so, enjoy! J. |
)
(if 'enjoy' is the right word!) 