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| LeatherEagle |
on Thu 7 Apr 05, 8:07 PM to LeatherEagle's blog.
A Leather Family visits---Our protocol
I can run through a list of do's and don'ts according to me but that is pretty empty and doesn't give you any feeling of why they might exist. I try to do things a certain way because the actions represent some of my personal philosophies. This is actually a bit of an answer to a question I was asked. (Disclaimer: the following are my own thoughts and do not represent the entire global Leather community opinion)
After being greeted by our hosts, generally we are offered coffee or some other refreshment. It is the only time our boy (leatherpierced) will accept being served. However, it is more likely that when he is asked what his beverage of choice is, that he will offer to assist(that is partly his own manners/consideration and our expectation of him). If his help isn't needed, he will then relax and wait to be served.
After, the first beverage, leatherpierced will watch and observe whether we are in need of anything further, just the way he would at home. It is a subtle unobtrusive observation about need, which he developed after extensive time and practice. If he believes that one of us is in need of something, he will check that we desire it and then ask permission of the host/hostess to fetch what is desired or make additional beverages if that is what is needed. At that point, the house submissive (if it is their custom) would accompany him to the kitchen to show him around or in fact assist him is preparing the drinks for his Mistresses/Dominants.
Ultimately it is his responsibility to be sure that we are as satisfied while visiting as we are at home. Just because we are visiting doesn't mean he is off duty. We don't really see it as being on duty, it is just our way.
Although one of leatherpierced's Mistresses, I consider myself to be the junior of three and do not forget that I am life-collared to LeatherDykeUK and LeatherMGoddess. It is my responsibility to take notice as well and if necessary either signal leatherpierced on what is needed or get up and be sure what is needed is gotten. Over time there is a non-verbal communication that develops. I believe it exists because we are all on the same page about what is appropriate and what is expected minimally. We all know that a lit cigarette and the absence of an ashtray create an obvious need (just a simple example). If leatherpierced's attention is drawn away from noticing that need, the next in line, that be me, would either ask the host/ess's submissive or the host/ess for an ashtray or where to find one. If leatherpierced is just distracted in some way, I would get his attention, in a civilised and respectable manner (not shout, "Boy get an ashtray"), generally I make eye contact and lead his eyes to the lit cigarette. That's enough for him to understand what is needed, 99% of the time that is enough unless it is an unusual need. It is the result of superb training. Superb training, his desire to please and Our desire for him be the best and most respected in the scene, not to mention giving him the tools he needs to keep us happy..~g~. It is all about taking care of one another, and there are many different ways to do that on both sides of the equation.
We all have our place and each one is important. Leatherpierced is not a Dominant in our family, which is neither his desire nor ours; however, he is as dedicated and loyal to our family as any one of us. He, therefore, is deserving of similar respect. Each of us is a representation of our family and our values whether we are out, home, online or at the supermarket. Without at least a consistent undertone of order, it would be impossible to grow together because too many little things would get in the way.
There certainly isn't a manual of instructions; actually a good portion of what we call our family protocol is developed as we go along. We are, however, aware that as human beings, ambiguity, insecurity, and self-esteem can be some of the biggest obstacles to personal growth. It is easy to feel lost in the complexities of being part of any family or D/s relationship and lose the plot for your own personal growth thereby not realising your own dreams as well. In some ways, the protocols we follow are exercises in recognising our own personal power and embracing that as a foundation. Together is how we make our family work. I know that may sound cliche and to some maybe even naive, but it works for me.
We do have protocols and despite where we are, we do our best to hold them true. No one else has to follow them, but if you want to learn, we are always happy to help.
Now that you have had a glimpse into the philosophy, here are the do's and don't that some may be looking for:
-Do keep as good watch on what your Dominants need despite being away from home.
-If you wouldn't do or say it at home, don't when your out.
-Do contribute to conversation if you have been given permission and make it worthwhile not just for the sake of speaking.
-Remember your manners, whatever you do or say reflects those you're with.
-Use your best judgement for what's appropriate.
-Be proud
and last but not least,
Smile and enjoy life, that is why we live it.
Luisa
x
| 7 Apr 05, 8:14 PM kikkiMM UK, 9 yrs |
Ah Luisa...so perfectly portayed..
What an attractive jigsaw puzzle you all are...one of those puzzles that has individually shaped pieces, but all fits together nicely great blog, warm wishes kikki xxx kikki{MM} "It's hard to be fit as a fiddle when you're shaped like a cello!" | |
| 7 Apr 05, 8:24 PM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs |
Beautiful luisa... Smiles, Very accurate too, from what I have witnessed and so much love... Hugs and love, J x Before any word leaves your mouth it must be approved by the three gatekeepers. The first will ask: "Is it true?" The second will ask: "Is it necessary?" The third will ask: "Is it kind?" Anon Edited 7 Apr 05, 8:29 PM by Jezzebelle | |
| 7 Apr 05, 8:40 PM shullie 11 yrs |
ditto all that has been said above, it is always a honour and a pleasure to spend time with you and your family love always shullie love n xxxxises shullie "People spend too much time finding other people to blame, too much energy finding excuses for not being what they are capable of being, and not enough energy getting on with their lives." J. Michael Straczynski Edited 7 Apr 05, 9:46 PM by shullie | |
| 7 Apr 05, 8:53 PM subsumed UK, 11 yrs |
A fascinating and thought provoking insight and so much more enjoyable having seen the dynamics of your family for myself. xx | |
| 7 Apr 05, 9:13 PM larra_uk 7 yrs |
In this day of the "I am not a doormat" sub it is lovely to read how you and your family operate. It shows above all manners. My how they have been forgotten. I loved your log and hope to read more. larra xx
No one can be everything to everyone, but everyone wants to be something to someone. | |
| 7 Apr 05, 10:05 PM oscagne_uk UK(CV), 7 yrs |
Thank you, thank you, thank you... Such a wonderful insight to a wonderful family. such dynamics that i can only dream to strive towards.
my stories at http://members.tripod.com/~oscagne | |
| 8 Apr 05, 12:32 AM Ali_Kat_xx UK, 7 yrs |
Well said, Luisa, I wish more people around here would remember their manners!!
Curiosity kills kats - one day my 9 lives will be gone, maybe then I will learn | |
| 8 Apr 05, 12:35 AM AmberUK UK(LS), 7 yrs |
Why is it that so many of those with views I share and respect have been posting such wonderful thought-provoking things lately? Something in the water perhaps? *grin* Thank you for sharing this. Always a pleasure when you post things like this because of the way you express things - clearly and with such calm and insight. Struck lots of chords for me - because I'm in a thoughtful mood too, as you already know! Lots of hugs xxx Amber | |
| 8 Apr 05, 1:59 AM erotica200 UK, 7 yrs |
I feel i have written a worthless weblog today, ( moaning about idiots ) After reading this weblog it made me feel so refreshed on the true people that are around on IC, you have given me a smile now ( even tho it is 2.am ) I was going to at one point ask to join your family lol. Kind words and happy thoughts... Michaela
In the begining it's always dark.... | |
| 8 Apr 05, 9:43 AM Whipcracker UK(WV), 11 yrs |
I have the greatest respect for your family, four people with one aim, mutual care and happiness.
Thanks for the blog. Mick
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