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| Belasarius |
on Tue 29 Mar 05, 3:00 PM to Belasarius's blog.
My first two posts were about the ways in which the master in me began to awake. It's a story I'd like to continue to tell, and I'll come back to it soon. But. today I want to remember the change that made me fully aware of my responsibilities as a master and which truly confirmed my s's desire to be much more than a mere submissive.
I knew her as a student for two years, and then for a year or so after she started training as a lawyer.
We never lost touch, but I spent a period of years working abroad, during which she found several someones and nearly settled down with a chap who was less man than mouse - something with which, curiously, they both seemed content.
Thank goodness (well, from my point of view), that failed. And, some six months later, things were back roughly where they'd started - except I now had a highly successful and deeply bouncy junior corporate lawyer crowding out my one-bedroom flat in Clapham.
In the first few months we had huge fun turning our lives into a beautiful mass of M/s rituals - something we both deeply desired... and soon she wanted me to start to subtly effect her behaviour at work too (not in a way that affected her career, she was a highly professional professional - and deeply ambitious too). We found ways.
But, it became apparent to me that she was deeply unsettled and nowhere near happy. It took a while to establish why - basically, thrusting (pardon the unfeminine notion) corporate lawyers earn a lot more than middle-ranking marketing people. She hated it.. But she was also damn sure it was her money!
The solution - which took a while to get to - came from me and was this: Her salary was paid into a building society account to which she was the only signatory, but I locked away the passbook. Monthly she transferred funds to deal with her living expenses, share of mortgage, holiday, etc, etc, to my account, plus an amount to be used to clothe her, groom her, buy knick-nacks and sundries, etc.
From then on she only ever had emergency taxi-fare in her purse and a small amount for daily living. Anything she bought she explained to me and/or presented a receipt. Meanwhile the surplus in her BS account grew and grew (years later, when the divorce happened - it was an annoyingly large amount).
The only rule was that any money of hers in my account had to be used for her benefit (which usually actually meant it benefited both).
Her whole attitude changed, she was spectacularly happy that she had given over control of her purse and felt secure that her money would remain hers. And, this prompted the biggest change in me: I realised once and for all that the choice this woman had made was not to have choice in her life. Finally I had the courage, if not the experience, nor yet the patience, to be a master.
Edited Fri 24 Jun 11, 1:56 PM by Belasarius
