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Posted by sadistical
on Sun 13 Mar 05, 1:45 PM to sadistical's blog.
I like going to fetish clubs, because I like to meet people with similar tastes, and see them all dressed up making an effort to look good for themselves, for their partners, and for random voyeurs.
But at the same time I don't like dressing up myself.
I completely understand why clubs have dress policies, I just think they don't suit me. Don't get me wrong I love looking at men and women in PVC/Leather/Corsets/boots/etc.
However I don't enjoy wearing such things for their own sake.
I wonder how many people are the same?
I get my kick out of hurting people, from teasing them, from playing with them in many many ways.
I have no clothing fetishes, and although I can appreciate others looking sexy and comfortable in the clothes they like I don't really share that at all.
To me the dress requirements for entry to most fetish clubs are another form of cost. Entrance will cost me XX pounds and a fetish outfit to wear.
Many times I'll avoid going because I don't feel like taking part in the charade, in dressing up to pretend that I fit in, and so I stay in. I avoid the place.
Harsh? Cutting of my nose to spite my face? Probably on both counts. But I'm just not comfortable wearing the kind of things that are required. It shows. I rarely look relaxed. I rarely feel comfortable.
I guess I'd be better at a munch, but time for those is less often good, besides if I did go and get on with folk I'd then need to see them at the clubs, and that would bring me back to my original problem.
There seems to be this pretense "We like BSDM, so we must like dressing up in leather/pvc/whatever". In the same way that two random BDSM practioners have different kinks, and it is completely plausible that they would have completely different ideas about what they can/should/must wear.
Yet the expectation remains constant .. to the extent I find it unlikely that it will ever change.
| 13 Mar 05, 2:14 PM snarkysub UK(E), 7 yrs  |
I am also someone who has no particular interest in dressing in a fetish oriented way. Though I also have less interest in going to clubs. I'm sure I'd love to go, just to see... but I'm also fairly certain it's not entirely my thing. It does seem to be an overwhelming majority that enjoy fetish dress with their bdsm practice, but on the other hand, I have met various people who are not so inclined. And am thankful for that- makes one not feel quite so outside! It is a tough one though. Would be interesting, would it not, for a club to do a 'street/business clothes dress night'? Well lit, as little black as possible. Corporate even! Hmmmmm... (thoughts entertaining myself) Now that, I would probably go to! -K | |
| 13 Mar 05, 2:24 PM OpheliaUK 10 yrs |
Don't most clubs allow the option of evening dress?
Oph | |
| 13 Mar 05, 2:29 PM Quaoar 7 yrs |
If (and when) I went to a fetish club, I'd be wearing a suit, and a spotless white shirt and tie - for me that's a fetish uniform. every statement has an exception - including this one | |
| 13 Mar 05, 2:53 PM tryst UK, 8 yrs |
men in good suits....yummmmmmmmmmy | |
| 13 Mar 05, 2:56 PM Jezzebelle UK, 10 yrs |
So you don't own any smart black clothes? Or evening wear? Personally I agree with a dress code, it's not difficult to meet the requirements of most clubs. Hell most nilla clubs have dress codes. J Before any word leaves your mouth it must be approved by the three gatekeepers. The first will ask: "Is it true?" The second will ask: "Is it necessary?" The third will ask: "Is it kind?" Anon | |
| 13 Mar 05, 3:05 PM MisterBear UK(WA), 8 yrs   |
I'm not really one for dressing up either, well not for my own pleasure. But I did get myself a pair of black leather jeans, bit pricey but they do the job. And then all I need after that is a black T-shirt or shirt and some black shoes or boots. That's it. I like black and so I have plenty of T-shirts and one or two shirts and I wear black boots all the time now so it's only the jeans that cost me anything and I kind of like wearing them anyway, but only wear them for clubs. You can get pvc pants cheaper than leather but I think they look cheap, which is why I went for leather. There are simple ways of getting round dress codes and sometimes if you contact the event first and have a word with them then they might ease the restrictions for you or help you come up with something that will pass. Most the of the places I've been don't seem to be very strict on the code as long as you make enough of an effort to blend in and show you aren't just someone just off the street. And the more you go and the staff know you then the more leeway you might get. Simple rule for men, which seems to work is wear black, preferably smart if it's not very fetish based. But if in doubt, check with the event first. bear (o:3 "Love isn't just a feeling, it's shaving your balls" "Firstly, sir, I reasoned that if I destroyed the universe all in one go no one would know," "Ahh Nibbles, chew through my ball sack" | |
| 13 Mar 05, 3:13 PM snarkysub UK(E), 7 yrs |
What about people who simply don't like black clothes? I wouldn't want to dance or party or play in most 'evening wear'. And what I have worn to regular clubs, I doubt would work.... I think the original sentiment is why do bdsm clubs need to be fetish clubs as well? If it was standard club clothes dress code, not a problem. But typically, it isn't. -K
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| 13 Mar 05, 3:14 PM tryst UK, 8 yrs |
i think you just summed it up bear with the words about making an effort its a club, and no matter what you think about fetish type dress, its making the effort - as others have said, a smart shirt/tee shirt and trousers, maybe a white shirt with black jeans, isnt exactly over the top - certainly doesnt have to be pvc etc am a bit bemused at what sort of ego would expect a club to relax its rules just because they personally dont like 'dressing up' (am not saying the original poster has said this, but it was mentioned by someone ) as for little angelic me, any opportunity to dress up is great fun! the more ott the better...deep sea diving helmet with bell bottom flares over a belly dancing outfit here i come Edited 13 Mar 05, 3:15 PM by tryst | |
| 13 Mar 05, 3:19 PM Inara_Serra UK, 9 yrs |
To be honest, most times I've been to a fetish club I've worn what I would wear to date or an evening to the theatre or opera (expect for my boots because they really are fetishy lol) mostly black but sometimes purple too, and my whole outfit bought from regular high street shops.
So except for my footwear everything else is 'normal' clothing, and if girly clothes aren't for you, how about a man style suit? very yummy on a lady My two euro's worth Take care and Keep safe Kat =^..^= | |
| 13 Mar 05, 3:29 PM sadistical UK, 7 yrs |
I agree that it's not difficult to meet the requirements, as a lot of clubs will bend over backwards to accept "newbies" who can come in only black jeans + black t-shirt. I own black clothes, and formal suits, and have worn them both to go to clubs - I wasn't so much saying that I'd never do it, or that it's odious, merely that I am not a natural at dressing up and I find it hard. I guess each to their own. |
