it must be my perfume... (5)

i lasted about 36 seconds before starting to cough (choking on smothered giggles)

look, wankers on my bus! fucking grrrrrrrrr let me get them fucking wankers - oh, are you on your way home love? wankers

seen them wankers on the bus love?

oh yes, nods i

night then love, she finally said, and took several years to stand up and get to the front of the bus

sadly this was also my stop

oh hello love you are coming too

oh look all the fuckers are coming too, wankers

exit a line of red faced wankers

i love leeds

pull up a chair and get a stiff drink / stiff man / stiff corpse

had a busy, fairly barking mad day at work, then had to do a moderation meeting before sending off my nightclass students essays

mr suit, my in- his- dreams -boss uttered the immortal line ' i will ring you about teaching the next cohort in september, you will know what to do by then'

er...i 'politely' (for me) pointed out that not only had my students achieved a 100% pass mark - but that all but one achieved a distinction for every piece of work, and the other received a good pass

(i am hugely happy for them, they will be so so pleased when they find out, and they deserve it all having worked damned hard all year)

anyway...put him securely in his (short man syndrome) place

bus station next

drunken couple who would be chavs if they could muster the necessary sophistication (yes they really were that bad)- he kept flashin his arse which had more craters than a lunar landcape, she unfortunately kept flashing her face which was worse than his arse

and all her teeth were on a slant

he kept yelling something about her boyfriend being 55 (hes 55! 55! hes 55! her boyfriends 55 - you get the idea i am sure) and tying to pretend he wasnt swigging from a cider bottle out of a carrier bag (posh eh)

anyway - she wandered off, and he started rolling fags (not public schoolboys)and sharing them with large lass with greasy hair and shellsuit (nuff said) - then lunar face bird reappeared, with an older man in tow - and i think everyone in the bus station wanted to point and yell 'hes 55! 55!'

sheesh

was a huge relief to my delicate nerves when my bus came

for 3 minutes

wednesday evening seems to be take your odd relative out and get them very drunk night

i am so blessed - on an almost empty bus she decides to sit next to me, then starts to shout whats all these fucking wankers doing on my bus (at frequent intervals), and at mega decibel level

i lasted about 36 seconds before starting to cough (choking on smothered giggles)

look, wankers on my bus! fucking grrrrrrrrr let me get them fucking wankers - oh, are you on your way home love? wankers

seen them wankers on the bus love?

oh yes, nods i

night then love, she finally said, and took several years to stand up and get to the front of the bus

sadly this was also my stop

oh hello love you are coming too

oh look all the fuckers are coming too, wankers

exit a line of red faced wankers

i love leeds

anyway - she wandered off, and he started rolling fags (not public schoolboys)and sharing them with large lass with greasy hair and shellsuit (nuff said) - then lunar face bird reappeared, with an older man in tow - and i think everyone in the bus station wanted to point and yell 'hes 55! 55!'